Most people on this site are newbies

I’m a newbie on this site, however I have been exploring tease and denial for a few years now. I would perform cageless chastity for weeks on end, my will is steel but my cage is plastic.

 

I joined in 2017 but by no stretch of the imagination am I or WE newbies to the lifestyle or alternative lifestyles.

This is a fantastic forum but by joining or not does not define anyone's commitment or interest in the lifestyle.

 

My wife and I have been married for 17 years and lived together for about 3 years before that. I have two children and run my own small construction business. I have always had for lack of a better word "kinkier" feelings than the average bear. I was into cross dressing from my early 20's. I always enjoyed a bit of anal stimulation and loved when I discovered strap on sex porn. Never the less I hardly thought of myself as being overly sexually adventurous. Over the years my wife and I evolved into a sexual routine with her being to some degree verbally dominant in bed. One of her things to talk about during sex was how she had gone out and had group sex with a bunch of well hung men. It played to her fantasy of multiple partners and played to my humiliation and bi-sexual fantasies.

All of this was strictly fantasy and the dominant role stopped with the orgasms. I tried a few times to get her to move beyond the routine. One year I bought her the book "The Ethical Slut" in the hopes she would feel comfortable living out her multiple partner fantasies. Another year I bought her "The Mistress Manual" in the hopes of her taking on an even more dominant role. There were various fantasy books on different subjects. Discussion about doing something naughty when we were in Vegas. Still nothing really changed. We were happy and having fun, my biggest complaint was about a lack of sex and the accompanying masturbation.

Christmas of last year I bought a cheap chastity device and the book the keyholders guide. Unlike most of my prior attempts I didn't come into this with any preconceived notions. I had never seen chastity porn, I didn't read the book as I didn't want to know what it would tell her. I guess I saw it as a sex game. Lock me up, tease me to get me aroused and then eventually release me. Thought it would add some spice to our routine.

I found like many other men have that having your penis locked away has a rather deep impact on you. Like many others I became enamored with my wife and found myself thinking about her all the time. I think if we could hit the pause button at around the 2nd month of our chastity journey it probably would have been as you suggested, some vanilla people who spice things up with chastity. While I still don't see us as being that "exotic", I realize that's a matter of perspective. We have certainly moved into more of an FLR that uses chastity as an element of control. Just where our journey has taken us. I think she could live with or without the cage, but my service is not optional.

 

may I simply add that all people on this site once were newbies?!