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Most people on this site are newbies

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by nikkel, Dec 1, 2017.

  1. I joined a couple of years ago , all hot and eager . Things went ok ,for a while in my fantasy /come true lifestyle, but after a while got bored with my Queen.

    I left the site here for around a year or so but still saw my Queen for occasional whippings and etc. I had my jailbird , but had never gotten used to wearing it for more than a few days . It rubbed and was irritating .
    For some reason a few weeks ago I had the urge to put it back on and this time see how long it could last with out being to sore to continue .
    I Widened the gap slightly and used a coating of Vaseline , and over a month later still have not removed it , except for once to drill another hole in it to thread a locking plastic strip through .

    Well after a few days I just happened to get a text from my Queen, it had been several months.
    I was all ready primed by having my cage on ,and went to her as her sissy bitch, and am still her sissy .
    I am her house cleaning bitch and have graduated to wearing mesh pantyhose and high heel shoes while cleaning .
    A real turn on for her and me.
    Usually It lasted for a week or 2 at the most and I'd loose interest and disappear for a few months .
    I'm her sissy bitch now for over a month straight,and in heat every minute . never a hint of giving me a orgasm, but promised me if I had a "perfect day" ,which in the month hasn't happened , she would CONSIDER letting me have one . She made it absolutely clear it would only be considered whether or not to allow me an orgasm.not something I could know I was earning , I am only striving to have a perfect day to have her consider whether to give me an orgasm ,or to laugh at my begging and send me back to earn another consideration.

    This time being caged with her as usual denying me an orgasm , I'm right in tune with her commands.

    Strange how it affects the mind once a person knows and accepts it a fact that their key holder has absolute control over their orgasms.
    Since meeting my Queen 4 or 5 years ago , she has only allowed me 1 orgasm. Of coarse I have given myself many when alone .

    I'm wondering how many join and shortly after find its not for them.
    Or as someone said most on here posing as women are actually men.

    By clicking on the avatar the date they joined shows up, about 85% on here that I checked , have joined in 2017, I wonder what happened to those from previous years ??
    Regardless, it makes for good ideas , and good reading.
    Mash2214 likes this.
  2. The devices are more sold at any kind of retailers shops so more people seeking for information a bit chastity
    sylvana chastity likes this.
  3. I am not new in this forum, but quite inexperienced with chastity.
    The problem is I can find some time reading stories/posts around, but I usually have no time posting by myself...
  4. I think the vast majority of experiences postsed on this site are just fantasy. I haven't been here that long but are there any people here in a regular old relationship using chastity? I mean wouldn't it make more sense if the vast majority of posts were made by regular Joe and Jane's who don't have hard core kinks or live out extreme lifestyles? If this site reflected reality it seems like there would be a small group of people with extreme or exotic kinks and a much larger groups of just vanilla people who spice things up with chastity.

    Where are those people at? I feel like there are none here at all. Everyone seems to be more into domination and submission than into chastity.
    ineverknew likes this.
  5. We started off with D/s and progressed from there. My D is now my KH. She decided that the end of the rainbow in her domination was to have total control over my cock. She bought the device and gave me the choice to click the lock shut or not. I chose to almost 2 years ago and it has enhanced our D/s relationship significantly. You cam have one without the other, but in our case it makes a large step in our FLR.
    Breathe likes this.
  6. Sarah8, your right on,
    I agree that many here are into being dominated , including me . I find chastity an added bonus.
    Being unable to even get erect without permission is the ultimate form of being dominated.
    Being whipped comes second,
  7. Why would a regular Joe or Jane, who has no interest in kink be here in the first place and why would they post?

    Or is your point that there are no posts from folk that are only into chastity and not the associated kinks?
  8. I think things progress and evolve, and the other nuances of kink fill the vacuum in a natural course. I don't believe that this always leads to that, or that everything heads in the same direction, but think if you are in for a penny being in for a pound isn't that far of a stretch.

    I introduced being sexually submissive to her and that I wanted her to hold the key to a device. Some or all of the rest came about later, and are either her kinks, or tools she uses to keep me in subbie mode. Turns out she like the doting attentive me enough to experiment and implement other things that help with that. Maid service for example. Was a hard limit for us when we started. I had no interest in being held accountable for cleaning or dressing up looking silly doing them. She wasn't interested in crossdressing me, she is attracted to men. She sent me a meme of sissymaid stuff and im sure read about others using chastity to provide domestic service, and here we are. We tried it a few times and it turns out she likes how subbie I get and I agreed to occationally do that for her.

    Turns out after some punishment play she found that it turns her on, a lot. Her being turned on turns me on, sooo another hard limit and another kink discovered.

    I think because chastity has allowed us both to communicate so freely, we are more willing to explore other kinks than "vanilla" couples. So I think there are plenty of vanilla couples here...you just can't recognize them anymore.
    Breathe, Mash2214 and Allan1517 like this.
  9. I'm not sure if I had a point. More of an observation but I didn't me people with no interest in kink. I'd just expect to see a lot more middle of the road type of people. Who are really only interested in the more tame kinks like occasionally being tied up, or spanked, or teased, or some role play.

    I just think it's kinda odd that like every new person that I've noticed in the short time I've been here is shows up and basically says.

    "Hey I'm new. Just got done watching some femdom porn and now I'd like to get a chastity device. Can I have some advice on a good one? BTW I've been married for years leading a regular life but now I'd like to get my wife to stop being how she is and turn into a strict mistress. Any ideas on how to do that?"

    Then there are like 20 posts of people saying oh yeah we can help totally changing the dynamic of your relationship is no problem. I'm sure your wife has just been dieing to dominate you all that time but finding a cage that fitts good may take some trial and error. Lmao

    Idk why but it's funny to me. Why isnt there anyome who joins with a story like "Me and the wife were at a sex shop picking up some stuff to help celebrate or anniversary. We pick her out some sexy lingerie and got a pair for furry handcuffs. Then on the way out we saw a chastity cage and decide it get it. Our anniversary was amazing. I had the cage on all day and we made out and teased each other until the night. Then we had incredible sex"

    I just think that sort of scenario would be far more common opposed to not at all.
    suzy maid and ineverknew like this.
  10. I think once chastity devices become more common that scenario will play out more. I had never seen one until I had looked for one after reading an erotic story using one. Another reason why is I imagine that most people that have had that kind of intro into this wouldn't necessarily find themselves here talking about it, they would have had their good time, put it in a drawer, and will play again when it suits them.

    I am afraid regular joe and plain jane, get swallowed up by some of the more extreme voices. My kh is about as normal as can be. Has a very normal and respected job, is a sweetheart, and to everyone in the outside world she is no different than any mom with a job...but behind closed doors she gets turned on by spanking me, and bondage. She wasn't like this before, if fact she was more of a sub, but she got a huge feeling of empowerment when the roles were reversed no matter if it was my idea to reverse them.

    First and foremost I think most couples are couples first and D/s partners second...I don't know, I know if I couldn't speak to her as an equal or she didn't respect me as a person, I would be over this pretty darn quick.
    Mash2214 and Sarah8 like this.
  11. You are probably right. But why would you expect a couple that did that join and actively post on Chastity Mansion?
  12. Mistress B

    Mistress B Mistress B
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    Feb 29, 2012
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    It's quite common that new members are excited with their cages and write about their new experiences. After a while they calm down and either stay with us and write in the forums occasionally or some burn out and disappear. Chastity is like that.
    Lockedup1979, harddenial and Mash2214 like this.
  13. Sarah8 you subscribed to THE CHASTITY MNSION , That iswhy there is so much mention of cock cages and chastity ..
  14. So true LOL
    Sarah8 likes this.
  15. I'm following you so far but I don't see your point? That seems rather obvious. I didn't mean to imply that it was unexpected for people to talk about chastity. Just to point out that I thought it was odd that of all the kinks that could be associated with chastity it seems like only a select few of are ever mentioned. Mainly ones relating to control or a power exchange that has a significant effect on the dynamic of the relationship. There has been a noticeable shift in the dynamic my relationship as a result of chastity aswell. I'm not saying it's bad just pointing out that it seems to be the aim or a goal for a lot of new members and it's encouraged by the community.

    Maybe the reason so many people join, hang out for a while, and then disappear. Is because trying to introduce chastity into their relationship organically and then see what it grows into overtime doesn't seem to be a common aim of most new members. We as a community definitely don't attempt to guide them in that direction. So instead of a guy simply introducing his wife to a new sex toy and seeing what happens he ends up trying to convince her to turn into his mistress.

    I'd assume the majority of the time it doesn't work or is either a very difficult goal to push for. So after a while they give up and stop visiting the mansion. I think we would get more people playing chastity games long term and also visiting the mansion if we advised them to take baby steps when introducing chastity to their partner. I'd imagine it would be a lot more exciting for the partner if they got to experiment with keyholding at their own pace and discover their own style over time opposed to "helping" her along the path to being a fantasy girl.
    suzy maid, Nicoftime and ineverknew like this.
  16. and also to react to ones partners likes and the pleasures of regular kisses cuddles and vanilla sex.
    Sarah8 likes this.
  17. Many are still here. The reason for so many newbies now is a huge hike in the number of joiners in the last year or so. For a while before that the site was under prior ownership and often down and had other issues, now resolved. But some members then fizzled out
  18. I admit to being a newbie here, I found this place in an internet search and thought it would be a good place to chat and connect with like minded people.
  19. I first joined in 2007(under a different name). I was a lurker for most of that time. Learning and reading. I didn’t think there was a reason to post since I didn’t want to ask my then wife, and I didn’t even own a device.

    Once I met someone I could share this with, I made a new account and started being active. So many people just want to learn without participating.
  20. There is a couple exactly like that. I cannot remember which, but it is either @Thatgirl@Thatgirl and her new hubby @Thatguyontheinternet@Thatguyontheinternet or @keephimcaged@keephimcaged who got started like that, as some fun that grew and grew into an incredible chastity based relationship.

    As for a regular couple who are not into lots of extreme kinks but enjoy using chastity as a way of spicing up their mostly vanilla sex life, hello, I would like to introduce myself and my Wife. I have been a member of this forum for two years now, have posted journals that have covered all of my trials and tribulations in the early days of our exploration of chastity, and chronicled the incredible change that has happened to my Wife in that time. In those two years she has gone from a bemused participant, not really sure what we were doing or why we were doing it, to a true Keyholder who is incredibly turned on by the way I respond to her, specifically the way I have changed over time as her control of my orgasms became more and more strict. Elle doesn't post here, it just isn't something she feels the need to do. It has nothing to do with being put off by the various posts espousing cruelty, humiliation or utter dominance, she just isn't interested in sharing her thoughts or asking other people for advice.

    Elle isn't incredibly dominant, but she can be when she gets the urge. She doesn't want to cuckold me, or sissify me, though she does enjoy making me wear women's underwear occasionally. She has shown no interest in pegging me, ties me up because she knows I like it more than she does, but boy, she does enjoy spanking me. The affect my chastity has had on her has been nothing short of breath-taking. She is so much more confident in her sexuality and is far more likely to try new things and really get off on them than at any time in our marriage (twenty seven years and counting.)

    Just one example happened three weeks ago when she told me to get myself sorted as I was going to make love to her. She didn't ask, she calmly instructed. This is new. She spanked me while I applied delay spray and put on my penis rings, telling me I was taking too long. As all good lovers do we spent time getting each other ready to make love before she let me start to use my penis. She was really enjoying herself when she looked me in the eye and said those amazing words. "You can cum." I didn't last long after that and unfortunately she still hadn't reached her own climax when it became obvious that I was unable to continue. She lay in front of me and for the very first time in our relationship, while I knelt before her and watched, masturbated in front of me. When she had her orgasm she was looking directly at me with such an incredible expression that I will never forget, the entire event is easily one of my top five sexual experiences. My wilting manhood was anything but wilting when she had finished, much to her delight.

    None of that would have happened before chastity. I cannot explain why this change in her has happened, all I know it has. I am sure some clever sexologist would have some theories and I would really love to meet one to talk to them about it. If it worked for us, then it would probably work for others.
    Sarah8 likes this.
  21. The funny thing is I was thinking about starting a very similar post to the original question earlier today but more in terms of asking 'why are you here? why are you doing this?' It was based around my observation that so many newbies turn up and witter on about what they want done to them, what they want out of chastity for them, how much her control turns them on, that I began to get fed up. What about her/him? What about the needs and desires of the Keyholder? Isn't what they want more important? Who cares what device you wear and how much it turns you on, that is utterly irrelevant. I even read one post from someone who wore a chastity device and it turned them on so much they took it off and masturbated three times while watching chastity based porn. Oh, the irony.

    I keep having to remind myself that the only way to do chastity is the way that works for you, but sometimes that mantra rings hollow in my ears.
  22. I thought of @Thatguyontheinternet@Thatguyontheinternet and his wife as well. They bought one at a sex shop as a fun toy to try. At the time she was more of a sub than dom. Actually so was mine...until she felt the empowerment of owning me, and felt the rush while spanking me. Then as we say, was it.
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  23. I had a feeling that it was @Thatgirl@Thatgirl and her very lucky guy.
  24. Mistress Jules

    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
    Staff Member Administrator Moderator

    Oct 27, 2013
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    Somewhere in the depths of the vault is the story of how I was a completely vanilla lady who was trying out internet dating. A young guy asked if I was interested in chastity. I had never heard of it so went to investigate. A week later I had joined here and put up my own website as well. I met @lockit@lockit on here and we eventually got together and are still together doing all the mundane things that couples do.

    There are posts on here from us about kink and about when he got hit by a car on his motorbike. There are posts about me being pissed off at the presumption of males on here and posts about how fabulous it is.

    As has been said before, with chastity becoming more popular as a fetish, this site will of course have more newbies and many of them will be so very excited to see this place.

    I do try and put some semblance of reality in some of the threads, but it's not easy to keep up with people who are excited and fantasising about the possibilities. That's why I wrote books and posted a few threads on the reality of introducing a female to the world of chastity. Although considering I found out about it, joined here, joined fetlife, went to munches, went to club, became a pro Domme, and bought into a dungeon all since joining here, I may be a rather extreme case and give a false sense of what normally happens lol.
    Sarah8 and lockit like this.
  25. I think a lot of people try chastity and write there posts with the passion of something new but only a small percentage will take it on as a lifestyle .
    I maybe wrong but it is jus an observation
    ineverknew likes this.
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