New to this lifestyle. Have done several 24-hour lockups but now I'm in my third full day. My wife is my key holder and she is slowly coming around to the idea of Chastity. She has used me for her orgasm and edged me several times then made me lock back up. Yesterday for the first time she made me go to work while locked. Looking forward to this lifestyle and to see how long I can go without an orgasm.
Welcome to the club. Sounds like your in for a fun ride. Don't worry your KH will figure it out and you both will grow and become closer. You no you are in and she really enjoys it when she starts wearing her key in public.
Thank you, looking forward to continuing. Not sure if I am looking forward to her wearing key out. I would like to keep this private. But, I guess that is up to her.
a thought the attitude that you displayed was all about you. if your trying to encourage your wife to adjust her mindset of being the dominant one maybe you could have written it like below. it could raise her self confidence and put your head in the right space making it even easier for her to make the adjustment. New to this lifestyle. Have done several 24-hour lockups but mistress has had her toys locked up for three full days and counting. mistress ???, the key holder, has become more enthusiastic about chastity with every passing day. just yesterday mistress decided that the cage was work day attire for the first time. mistress has taken pleasure in playing with her toy without concern for its' pleasure. with mistress having total control of husband and wife's orgasms, i wonder how far mistress will take it. welcome to the mansion
Welcome and hope this is something you will both enjoy....after awhile you might have to change the name on your account though lol Good luck
Best advice I think of to give is. Remember it's about her pleasure not yours now. There may be times where she isn't mood to tease and so on, be patient and be very attentive to her needs. My wife and I started out playing here and there. Then one day she realized when ever I was locked up, I would be so much more attentive to her needed and wants. With that she wanted me locked up more and more. It's a lot of fun, and being sooo fustrated with the need to cumm when super aroused specially after the enjoyment of giving her orgasms and watching her ride it out. Then role over and go to sleep as if I'm not there. Priceless!!
Hello @New to cage and welcome to the mansion , hope you enjoy your time here and the rest of your journey . and I agree with @boisub your intro was fine
well it looks like the the boys approve of your opening and they think it appropriate. i suggest you find xys to hold your key. your wife is not dominant .....yet............ but you want her to be (so you imply). you have an image of how you think it will be. as for all the "my wife, my key holder, my third day" - that image seems to be all about you. how does your wife feel about that? slightly degraded? ohhhh ...... and the comment "she is slowly coming around to the idea of Chastity" - is that your way of saying i finally have her moving in the right direction? is that your way of letting her know that her value is fulfilling your fantasy? guys, i am here to tell you the hardest thing for any xx to do is change her mindset. it goes against most of what she has been taught. it takes time, desire and a real benefit for her to feel comfortable with the change. the more you play your role , the easier it is for her to get into her role. she will more likely enjoy the new experience and more likely want to do it again. remember, your fantasy requires your lady to grow and develop into a strong willed confident dominant. anything and everything you can do to help her obtain her goals would be a giant leap in the right direction. this all starts with the proper attitude. the letter i wrote for you shows what your wife wants and needs to hear from you to encourage her continued efforts. show her it is about her. demonstrate your mistress's wish is more relevant than your pleasure or experience. treat her with the respect she is entitled to. then you might find your wife can be who ever she wishes with ease.
Thanks to everyone for their replies and comments. However, I do not appreciate being told that I am doing something wrong simply because I am not doing it the way you do it. Assumptions have been made that we are into this solely to become a mistress slave or Dom sub couple. Obviously there has to be some dominant submissive aspects to the couple, however I am not looking to make my wife more of a dominant. Please don't confuse my fantasies in this with your fantasies of how it should be for you. As stated we are new to this and as far as I'm concerned how we develop and play in this is up to her which makes her dominant and I am in no way disrespecting her in anything I do or say here. All that I am truly looking for my wife to do here is participate for now. That can mean that she either wants me in the cage or not or she wants to play with me in the cage for several days or not or maybe at some point she wants to have me in the cage for a month or two months without release that will be up to her. She may tell me tonight that she would like for me to throw it in the trash and never speak of it again and again that is up to her. We are in a long-term almost 30-year committed relationship. This is one new thing in our long journey together ,please try to have a little respect for that thank you.
Hi there and welcome to the Mansion, it is great to see you have found us at the beginning of your journey. You are of course correct in that there is no right or wrong way to do chastity, it is whatever works for you and your wife as a couple. Unfortunately sometimes the enthusiasm some members have for their situation and how they enjoy it can come over in a negative manner. I am sure that was not the intention. The only thing I would say about right and wrong is make sure you don't wear the device too long at the beginning in case you get abrasions - they can be really nasty. Apart from that, go have a blast and footrubs are a great thing - Although it took @lockit about two years to convince me to have one, I am now a firm believer in footrubs. If you have any questions do please let me know and I will do my best to see if I can help, or find someone who can. Mistress Jules
it is nice that she has your approval and permission to do as she wishes with your fantasy. you are correct that it is your life and you may live it as you choose as i may do the same. still let me point out as an xx here we are certainly the minority. guys come on here with pretty much the same concerns about their kh/spouse. slice it how you like , it still boils down to she is not keeping up with his fantasy. funny that does not seem to be what the xxs are concerned about when they do show up here. maybe xxs do not fantasize like xys do. maybe we are to busy trying to keep up with reality we have little time for fantasy. it is not that you are wrong like there is any right or wrong here. it has more to do with how you chose to take it. i am sure you have heard the expression that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. i was simply trying to show you a way that xxs tend to be more receptive to. whether it is intentional or just your nature you have chosen an aggressive defensive stance when someone was trying to be helpful. like it or not chastity has a power exchange element to it and each couple decides how much they want of it in their relationship. again and again we hear from the xys often that what they get is not enough. it is said many different ways like " she tries so hard i don't want to complain but" or "when we started she wasn't on board but she getting the hang of it now.. if only she" and for an oldie but goodie "she is slowly coming around" ( your choice) . maybe it sounds harmless to you but for the xxs that have made the transition to the mindset that makes it all so very real for both husband and wife we take notice to the very things that made it hard for us. primarily it's all about the guy and what we can do to make his fantasy real for him. we have to get past that if we are to be the dominant one in the relationship and to do that we have to change his attitude that it is all about him. had your wife taken us to task for our advice i surely would have had a much different conversation but then as it is for most xxs that come here we are looking for suggestion to be a better dominant to make our lives the better. let me point out most xxs that i have talked to about this lifestyle say in part they do it to make their spouses happy. maybe it is in our nature to want to make our spouses happy even when we are dominant and in control but it would be a whole lot easier if the xys would stop making it all about themselves. or even humbly acknowledge that is what they are doing and will try to change. . lastly i meant you no malice. admittedly after hearing the same kind of things over and over and over again one tends to address the entire issue and not the individual. being a xx makes it hard to empathize with the xys for far more change is asked of us than of the xy. and yes when we do make the transition it is a lot harder on the xy then but if you look around there are far fewer of us than the xys. maybe the xys might consider a new and very different tact.
So, you're going to chastise me again ,this time because I "took it the wrong way"? Perhaps if it had been written with more "honey" and less "vinegar" I would not have taken it the wrong way. You may not have noticed in your last post where are you were going on an on but you were still chastising me for not doing it the way that you do it. If you would like to add things to the thread that are both helpful and not chastising and telling me I'm doing everything wrong please feel free to do so. However if you cannot do this in an non antagonistic way and wish to keep having this argument back and forth please just remove yourself from the thread and don't bother reading or commenting anymore thank you
Hello @New to cage , sounds like you are doing well , three days straight off is a good start , I found that things got easier with time the longer I was locked the more I got used to it , but it took me some time to be able to do longer lock ups , you may find the same , may I ask what device you are using , the reason is I started with plastic devices then moved to steel which I found way more comfortable for long term wear , you may already be using a steel device , just thought I would mention it to you , but anyway good luck and keep going its a time thing