Ruined Orgasms Q&A

In our experience ruined orgasms are a bit hit and miss in terms of whether they spurt or dribble out. The latter tends to happen if you stop stimulation earlier, sometimes up to ten seconds or so before he goes over. She he's got to be really close and engaged with it for that to happen. But there is something satisfyingly mean when it doesn't even have the energy to spurt but just flows out instead.
However, I also love spurting cum so most of the time when I'm ruining him I'll deliberately stop as he's gone over and hold his cock loosely at the base just so I can direct it a bit (if he's lying down) or just let go and watch if he's standing.

In terms of your questions
1. The flowing ruin is least satisfying for him for sure, but harder to achieve for me. But the fact the stimulation stops longer before he climaxes means there's almost no pleasure at that moment as far as I can see.

2. I ruin him for a few reasons:

• I love cum and simply enjoy making it come out of him! Sometimes I'll ruin him into my mouth or onto my body just because it's sexy (remember I'm quite sub so there's a thrill he's taught me in being 'marked' by his cum. Also since we dated he used to tell me how he loved that when I swallowed him it became part of me (such a great line! lol)
• Sometimes I want to give him a release but not lose all the benefits of him being horny - it still drops his libido, no doubt about it. But not as much. Sometimes he stays hard after a small one, unlike a full orgasm, and he's horny by the next day, whereas a full orgasm might knock his libido down for a two, but it still causes a break in his arousal (which sometimes he needs, so I use it that way deliberately to alleviate it if he was getting distracted from work for example)
• I often use it as the 'midway' prize in games we play, not an orgasm but at least it's something. For example in the coin game I wrote about on my blog
• If we're doing a longer lock up (six weeks is the longest we've ever done) I'll use some ruins in the first few weeks but avoid them at the end as I like the full balls phenomenon that definitely occurs if he's not allowed ruins for a while either

3. Unless he's got so little control he couldn't help grabbing his cock and stealing back the orgasm once he starts ruining then tying him up is only to enhance the feeling of submission and control

4. Are ruins more effective after a few days or weeks... umm, not really, as they are the absence of pleasure. There's a bit more frustration for him if he's really horny, but they are just really a mind fuck in and of themselves because you're taking what he expects to feel great and ripping the pleasure away. That's the main effect, and it works any time.

So picking up your point about multiple ruins, we've done this a few times. It takes four or five ruins to get him to the point where he 'cums dry', which is kind of hot. There's less semen each time, and the last is maybe just a bead. Hubby needs viagra for me to be able to get him beyond about two ruins. The mind fuck I played on him the last time was to say that if he had a dry cum then I'd give him a full orgasm after it. He was allowed to ruin himself a couple of times to get to it. The beauty was he couldn't get to orgasm after his dry cum, I laughed a lot!

Lots of ruined related stuff on my blog on this search: http://keephimcaged.tumblr.com/search/ruined

Hope that helps!

Jane

 

His dry cum was a ruined orgasm, don't know if it was 'mini' in any way. The 'promise' was to give him a full orgasm, I didn't expect him to be able to do it, which is what proved true. He was just worn out. Even getting to the dry ones is hard work for us. It's not something I'd regularly bother to do.

I think some men might be able to cum even when milked dry, but I'd guess it would be pretty tortuous? Hubby's a grower not a show-er so I think maybe that gives less room for continued attempts?

 

From my own experience I will put them into a scale.
Worst first. When I say satisfied, I mean feeling emptied a little.

Ruined orgasm with one spurt.
Now queens has achieved this quite a few times and for me its the worst in terms of left unsatisfied and still extremely horny. A normal orgasm is all that lovely pumping sensation with lots of cum. With this technique she just pulls off at the right moment and ceases all touching. I want more. This deffinantly keeps the frustration levels high. I tried to explain this feeling to my queen bybfilling up a water bottle and saying this was how frustrated I felt, a quick flickmofnthe bottle just knocks of the first inch of water. I have begged her once for more and she proceded to to the next step and drained some more, shes only done this once, I wasn't gagged, that's why I begged.

Ruined orgasm one spurt done a few time with gaps in between.
As above, still frustrating but will calm my frustrations for an day or 2. A little more has been emptied.

Ruined orgasm using hard compression at the base of the penis. Gives you a dribble.
This ones pretty bad as you feel like you having an orgasm but there is zero cum going up the urethra and it either goes up to the bladder or upper urethra, when the pressure is finally released a dribble of cum comes out.
A little more satisfying than above but very intense on the mind as there is no 'shooting your load' this is only achieved if enough pressure is put into squeezing the urethra closed.

Ruined by post orgasm torture.
She keeps masterbating you until you cum and then just keeps going with more intensity. If you imagine a normal intercourse orgasm you kinda slow down and hump with those last pumps as the cum is comming out. And then you stop.
This creates a painful feeling and takes away all the pleasure ofnthe orgasm itself. The only downside to this is no have the normal 'cum down' over about 3 days until the frustration builds up again.

Normal orgasm.
An feeling of great release, pumping cum, then that big let down. Frustration is gone and your back to you cocky ways, for a while anyway!

 

I much prefer prostrate milking, it cuts out the need for an erection and the cage need not be removed.

 

I really need to find someone to give me a prostate massage one of these days. It sounds so delicious!

Anyone have any experience with retrograde ejaculation? Are there any health effects?

 

I'm sure there is great reasoning behind to a ruined orgasm, but it seems like a lot of work to me. I love pleasing my husband and seeing the work of my efforts when he "blows his load". The bigger the better! I'm a teaser but also a pleaser. I get frustrated when I keep my husband locked up, just not nearly as frustrated as he gets. I do enjoy the reversal of control aspect though. Maybe it's a selfish thing on my part, but I want him to get the most satisfaction possible from my efforts.

Just my thoughts on the point.

 

Yikes

 

For me the benefit is that it's half way between an orgasm and not letting him cum at all, so it keeps him more horny than he would have been, thus keeping more of the intimacy I love as a result. But I also love seeing him 'blow his load' but doing it without the full pleasure is kind of hot and twisted, plus the little noises of frustration he makes are adorable.

 

That's putting it bluntly, but yes. jemima finds it quite pleasurable and looks forward to the monthly ritual.

 

When I first learned what a ruined was, I never thought I'd be 'mean' enough to give one. I love making my man cum and I actuall need it to feel fully satisfied. That being said my fiancé showed interest in wanting to try it so we did. Now it's part of or teasing when he's locked up for a couple days or more. I am actually learning to love them. I got what I want and he gets a little release but stays horny and slightly frustrated. It's best when we have sex and I make him pull out and ruin himself on me. He then of course has to clean up his mess. If he doesn't ruin it he will be locked up for a couple days without any play out of his cage (he's usually let out every night for my pleasure). If I ruin him with my mouth or a hand job I love to do a little tortire after. It is a lot more fun than I ever thought it would be.

 

One more thought on this. Ultimately, with a few ruineds I can get more of what I want. While him pleasing me with his tongue and fingers and toys is amazing, I need him inside me for my pleasure. With a few ruineds, I can keep him locked up and still get what I need.

 

We haven't done this to me yet, though we have started talking about it. My Wife read about it in the Mistress Ivey Green books but like others didn't quite understand what it is for or what she could get out of it. Then she began to understand how my feelings and reactions ramp up the longer I was denied. Then she started to really enjoy teasing me and seeing my responses.

My last two ejaculations were both accidental emissions that happened after several weeks of denial. The first after six weeks, the second just before seven weeks. Both were just events where my body decided to push the built up semen out without very much stimulation. They were definitely ruined as there was no accompanying orgasmic pulse.

My Wife stated at the weekend that she now has a time limit to play with, so it is likely to happen at least once every six weeks or so.

 

I assume that by saying ejaculation, you mean that fluids are expelled rather forcibly. The answer is no.