How to introduce my wife into male chastity

Slowly. Carry on wearing the chastity device and be your own Keyholder. Stop masturbating, altogether. Not 'once a week' or anything like that, altogether. Start treating her like she is the most precious thing in your life. Do things for her. Don't ask her to do things for you. If she sees you wearing the device explain that you are using it to try and change your sexual behaviour.

Once she has noticed a change ask her if she will help you. Being in chastity is not about you, it is about her taking over the reins of your sexuality and using it in a way that suits her, not you. There is no point going into this thinking that all of a sudden she is going to grab that whip and start being some Femdom fantasy mistress. If she doesn't like your kinks out of male chastity why would she pander to them in male chastity?

Male Chastity is not easy. If you do go for this and she does take over you have one hell of a ride ahead of you. 99% of it is not about sex, it is about the way you live and respond to day to day situations in your relationship. It is 100% not about getting your own way. If the idea behind this is to get your own way, take the device off and give up now, before you do more damage than good.

 

Totally agree with what @Jasmic68 said... make it 100% about Her, start looking for little things to help make Her life easier, better, etc.. pick up things you normally might not, sort and run the laundry, fold the laundry... sweep the floor or vacuum when it needs it. As She begins to see the change and that you really are changing (not just playing a game role) She will respond in Her own way. It may take a long while as it has for Mistress Wolf, or She may pick it up fairly quickly, but either way DO NOT push or try to drive the train, you are not in charge once you take these steps...

 

I did the same as you, bought and wore a device to make sure I could, then, after a week or so, just sat down with Her and told Her i had come up with a way for Her to feel secure knowing i was devoted to Her and not going out to meet other people or "taking matters into my own hands" any more. She thought every time i went to meet friends that i was out trying to have sex and was going to leave Her for someone else.... She was a little confused and upset to start, but as we talked it worked out and eventually i gave Her total control and power. That was almost 4 years ago now, and it's been a slow steady journey since.

I am currently 98% under verbal chastity, on an order from Her that I am not to masturbate. The other 2% is shared by the 2 cock rings i wear 24/7 right behind the glans, and the Jailbird which She does not really like.

 

You need to talk at a neutral time and when both of you are in a positive receptive mood. You need to explain that what you want will be done at her pace and that you want to do this for her, not for you. You can be honest and tell her the idea that having her in control turns you on, but I would recommend that you let her know this is not your main objective.

That is how I did it. My Wife said yes almost immediately. She then made me prove myself for six weeks before taking control of the keys. Now, a few months later, she is still finding her way and developing what she sees as being the Mistress that She wants to be. Like I said earlier this is really important. Another Mistress on this forum told me that if I was looking for a fantasy Mistress then I should find a professional. Real is far better.

 

As said, be sure to pick the proper time to bring it up. Don't do it when she is getting ready for work or has something on her mind, you will crash and burn. Do it when there isn't much going on and be casual about it. Tell her you have a way to be sure that she is always on your mind and her needs will come first. Make sure you tell her how it will benefit her and not that it is a fetish of yours.

 

Whether wearing the device and showing it to her or keeping it off is a difficult one. From what you said earlier my inclination would be to keep it off. You have bought the device to make sure you can wear it before suggesting it to her.

After I asked my Wife I spent six weeks as my own keyholder. She only took over once she was 100% happy that the device was not hurting me or causing any damage.

 

@strap0nme Is it all about the device for you? I'm not trying to be provocative, I'm asking genuinely. When you're thinking about how the conversation will go, is the device your main concern? Maybe it will help you wrap your head around how the discussion might go if you turn that on it's head and look at it the other way. What if it has nothing to do with devices?
It's taken me years to try and figure out what "chastity is about" for myself. I struggle with trying to figure out if it's all about the device/penis or nothing about the device/penis. I suppose it's somewhere in the middle. But the best discussions I have with GC on the subject are when I'm thinking about how it has nothing to do with my penis or the device, and how I want to be a better man for her, love her and support her the way she deserves. Agreed, I shouldn't need a device for that. So where does that fit in, and why? I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Perhaps this just muddied the waters for you, but I hope it helps.

But to try to steer this back towards your question, you said "I'm just trying to think how I should introduce the male chastity without thinking I'm a freak..." If you present the topic as some deep, dark secret, she will probably think of it in that context - something that deserves to be hidden, and you're now bringing to light, which might determine how she reacts to it. If you present it in a different context, she will probably react more favorably. Maybe in the context of creating more intimacy in general, or something like that.

 

I am only a few months into wearing a chastity device with my Wife as my keyholder. I like your point, it makes me think about my own situation in a new way.

I think that my own device is a symbol of the commitment I made to my Wife and a source of relaxation for her. My Wife was always hesitant to start cuddling or doing mild intimate things because she thought I would always immediately want sex. She also had issues accepting me pleasuring her as She expected me to want reciprocation as a result. Now I wear the device she can relax. She gets to decide what happens and when it happens. As a result She is so much more relaxed and wants me much more than She did before. The difference is it is without pressure from me, it is on her terms.

My Wife has had ten orgasms this month. Not many if you read some peoples 'stories' where women have multiple orgasms every night. I cannot think of another month where this would have been the case in our 28 year relationship. I have not instigated a single one of them.

Could I do this without the device? Perhaps, but my Wife likes me wearing it and as I have said the fact that She does not need to release me unless She wants to has made a huge difference.

 

Lots of good advice here and there a number of good publications that might help also i'm sure lots of people can recommend some personally I like the introductory stuff written by Sarah Jameson, "be careful what you wish for", "the letter" and "why he wants you to say no". Of course others prefer other writers. But basically you will here all of this (below) and lots more besides from different sources

You may want to appeal to her intellectual side .. so if and when, she does start to show an interest it could be useful to use this or an article like it

http://secretchastityhusband.blogsp...leasure-and-devotion.html?zx=ab04aa9f33570fed

to help explain to her, and perhaps yourself, the science behind why it works and why you want her to be your KH.

You know your partner best, it might be better to appeal to her emotional side. T

here is plenty of guidance to be had on that too.
A lot of women (not all and not a generalisation) do like it when their male partners become more open about their feelings and emotions. As the early days of getting into TTTWD do, and should, involve a lot of communication . Of course you must be sure to balance all this communication it must be mainly about things she wants to talk about and not just Our Thing. But allowing your emotions to show and letting her share them with you and encouraging her to share hers can often be a very powerful bonding experience.

Sure you can and ought to add loads of stuff about how it will help;
you not masturbate and to save yourself for her
stop the guilty feelings you have about being unable to control the urge to masturbate when not with her and of course that it is thinking about her creates that need.
you to become less selfish and more focused on her needs..

Let her know how much her telling you not to come would turn you on.
and in time how much her not letting you come sometimes does make you feel that she understands your need for some denial as you really enjoy wanting her, wanting to see her come, wanting to please her any way you can
and re the latter.. its time to show her how her interest drives you to want to do things for her in and around home.. this is not submission this is helping her to be less tired, and to give her opportunities to see the advantages of keeping you denied and or locked. It is conditioning her to expect far more from you if she is prepared to deny you a little.,

the list is endless.

Above all do not go on about it as you will just come across as both obsessed and very likely... future ex-partner material.

MOST VITALLY
You have got to go slowly and as you are asking so much of her YOU MUST show her how you can make it worth her time and effort to indulge your fantasy.. that's what and all that it is now.. your fantasy.. it can take a long time before it may become a new lifestyle for the both of you.

Hope this helps a little.. good luck.
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You tried. And it is weird, the idea of putting a bit of plastic or metal around our penis. But I and pretty much every single other man knows how difficult it is to control those urges. I have not masturbated since October last year and have not wanted to. If I had not worn the cage then I do not think it would have been as easy. It is a symbol of the commitment I made to my Wife.

Is your Wife aware of how unhappy you will be?

I would carry on wearing the device but be your own keyholder. Let her know that you are serious about this and that the device helps you.