In at the Deep End

1 Padlock down. 2 to go. Monday had better be good.

 

Urgh.

Party last night and quite a long time with C. Which is usually a very good thing. But the conversation turned to relationships in a broad and generic way. The kind which could be teasing but could also be blissful ignorance or pointing out there's not a hope in hell. Still to complicated to go there yet... (But when is it ever.)

Came home and locked into the Kali - quick and efficient as ever. No ball trap to worry about and automatically stuck (at least for a while) due to the teeth. Was in the back of my mind that both keys for the padlock were locked away. One in a key safe not due to open for another 33 hours and the other in a randomised four digit combination lock safe I do not know the code for. Still no biggie and I settled in for the night - after all I'd been easily able to sleep through the past two far better than with the Pod.

My thoughts were equally split between the evening which had just passed and the potential for being with C and feeling tired of the whole chasing/lack of action thing... That's when I kept feeling sharp little pin pricks. Just one or two here and there but little and often. Kali didn't so much sting and burn as prick. A bit disappointing in a way for what is supposed to be a "killer" device. (Maybe I've just got a good pain threshold though....) The little scratches seemed destined to keep me awake throughout the night just enough to niggle. And it felt like a long night when I was already tired and frustrated. Little shifts constantly causing jabs into my skin. It would have been alright if it was a constant pain like in the Pod but this seemed occasional and random. Never being able to tell when it was about to happen...

I tried to shake off clothes, bed sheets everything so my body was against the air and find the most comfortable position. But nothing stopped it. Then probably around five or six in the morning things started to get nasty. I felt my member press out hard meeting the full resistance of the cage. A painful throb then a pressure around the girth. That building throb and scratchy pains however I positioned myself never going away. Not terrible but enough to bug me and go beyond. I'm not sure whether it became worse over time or it was just the repetition. But I was beginning to want out - considering trying my luck pushing it off.

That's when the worst came and my penis went into over drive trying to rise and fall within the bracelet whilst pushing to fill the cage hard against the spikes. It was enough to stop me in my tracks to wait and not move until it was safe. From then on if I tried to tuck the device away in my underwear the pressure of the fabric on my tip caused problems. If I 'dangled' out free I wanted to held it steady so I didn't smash against the sides... . Why, why, why, is my penis still trying to grow. Building and building - that was managable but the final through as it pulsates up and down the shaft: not nice at all.

Reaching morning there was still at least 24 hours to wait for the Kitchen Safe to open and it could be a good few of hours of work to break in to the (4 digit) combination lock safe. So I started to try and lift the device off my penis. By now though the pins were sharply embedded in my shaft and it was not going to budge. Plus my testicles had been inflating and formed a shelf on which the device could rest (which was something) - this Kali was not going to be removed. Eventually I found the traction to pull up on the device to see if I could slowly tug it off over time. But after so long it me resistance and demanded to be pulled down again. But (and I'm not sure if this was because of the moving to flesh) the pull down was always more painful than the pull up and often encouraged a pulse from my member which was worse.

For two days I had been lucky with little problems wearing the device overnight and I'm still not sure what or how but tonight was different and I was beginning to consider having to keep it on till the following day when the key was released. Maybe though if I could just encourage myself to shrink back down I could live with it - I had for the previous two nights right. Needing to be out later I got up to shower wondering how it would feel to have the device no hanging off of me now. Whilst using the toilet I decided to stand not wanting to let the device dangle freely over the bowl ... which was when I got lucky and making a slightly angular pull on the device realized I had gained some slack. With some careful tugging pull out proved possible. (After all I'd never expected to be trapped in the device for longer than overnight anyway.)

Checked myself out in the shower and nothing seems broken of skewered but I have a new respect for Kali. It's almost more scary knowing that with current odds there is only a one-third chance it will bite. (You're probably safe but maybe not...) I have one padlock left now till tomorrow and should probably go on the Pod between now and going out time in the afternoon. When back I'm probably going to opt for the honour system for the night. Partly because I won't have any spare locks and partly because in the morning, my new device will finally be here and I'm hoping that will be on for a while - so maybe its fair to give my body one last chance to reset. The device seems to have all the features I need - so lets hope.

Tomorrow then everything could change around here: One device, locked on, staying on. What else will there be to type... Could this be the end I'm looking for?

 

One last thing. To save time tomorrow the device coming in the post is 'The Vice'.

I realize I seem to be picking devices that nobody else uses (step forward The Pod...) and 'The Vice' is relatively untested but it feels right. This thread on on the Mansion itself proved that there was already some controversy surrounding it. Though having said that I really am looking for a plastic device at the moment to compliment my metal one. It will be so much more convenient for my working life... .

I particularly like its claimed security. Here's a quote from the creator (from the thread mentioned above):

The ability for grow-ers to escape, compared to show-ers is the exact reason that led us to develop The Vice. The most common method of escape from any device is from growers; once flaccid, it's as easy as tilting the device forward and pulling out. The Vice uses several innovative solutions to prevent this from happening:

1. The anti-pullout. Our most innovative solution comes from the anti-pullout itself. The inner tabs of the anti-pullout have a textured design which the skin naturally molds to. The longer the device is worn, the more the skin molds to the anti-pullout; consequently, making it harder to pull out. The vertical ridge on the anti-pullout is used as a "catch" for the loose skin which is leftover when flaccid. The anti-pullout comes in 3 sizes to offer you a choice for level of security and comfort; anywhere from a light hold, to a firm grip. The grip of the anti-pullout combined with the ridge prevents even growers from naturally shrinking past its grip.
2. The anti-pullout runs vertical, instead of horizontal; therefore, holding the penis in place on its sides, rather than on top. With other devices which hold the penis in place on top of the member; pushing down to obtain friction and pulling causes the skin on top of your penis to retract and break the grasp the anti-pullout has. With The Vice the friction rests solely on the sides, so when pullout via this method is attempted, the skin atop of the penis is pulled back, but the friction remains unaffected on the sides.
3. There is no room to pull from the sides.The space on the sides of the anti-pullout are the thickness of two stacked paperclips (~2.5mm). The space between the back of the cage and the ring can vary from the width of a pencil to double that size. Most of said space is occupied by the scrotum.
4. Tilting the device forward is difficult and minimal. Other devices easily tilt forward, allowing you to reach the base of your penis with your finger; therefore, giving you the ability to pull out. The Vice's anti-pullout is the strongest counter to this. Since the anti-pullout holds your penis firmly near the base, the device does not tilt forward by much; preventing the ability to expose the base of your penis and squeeze your finger inside and attempt to pullout. Even if you can reach the backside of your penis, the grip of the anti-pullout wouldn't allow you to pullout.
5. The anti-pullout is placed out of reach. The anti-pullout is placed nearly an inch away from the backside of the ring. Even if the wearer is able to tilt the device slightly forward, their finger would not be able to reach where the anti-pullout holds their penis to break the grip.
​

And from elsewhere on the Mansion (and the same creator):

The Vice is 'nearly impossible' to pullout from; however, with great effort (and much pain), the wearer can pullout. If the wearer pulls out, it is impossible to put The Vice back on without removing it entirely. The Vice's design was made to only cause discomfort, even pain, to the wearer if he tries to remove it, making it tamper sensitive. If the wearer does not try to remove The Vice, then the anti-pullout remains unnoticed.
​

Here's what it looks like (and if you've been reading any of these posts you'll realize that I'm not paid, sponsored or supported in any way by any of the chastity companies including @LockedinLust - to be honest I even bought it from a rival company):

Let the games begin...

​

 

Separate bag for the key - tamper secured - as there's no room for the padlock and a numbered lock. (Also seems that using a tamper lock alone would make the device insecure...)

Locked and off soon to meal and Star Wars. Better go.

 

Back home and have had to change some of the settings on the cage. Fortunately all the different options are provided.

Spent most of the meal with a with pressure around my perineum (and not the pleasant kind), then during the film I was glad I could get away with slumping. Discovered on the way home that the device had broken free of my underwear which probably made things a little more comfortable... .

At home noticed that the tip of my penis was very near the top of the device and with very little movement it was out. My balls however remaining resolutely trapped. Not ideal if I hadn't have access to the key to unlock. The makers of the device claim that its very hard to achieve pull out whilst in 'The Vice' but not so far. However, I'm sure I read somewhere that it takes a couple of days for some of the anti-pull out measures to kick in as the body starts moulding to the shape of the device... ... ... . Whichever, I I ideally don't want my penis always hanging around the entrance to the cage where it can fall out by accident or design - so hopefully this will improve once I finished customising most of the size/spacer settings.

1 AM in the morning must go and try and get some sleep will try and catch up fully later.

 

Locked in again last night - but when I became erect my penis pushed the device away from me, rather than allowing my erection to fill the tube. Obviously something is still not right. Try to change some of the settings again...

 

Ah, my balls were still very much trapped - but my penis and the device where starting to cause an archway...

 

So..., I seemed to have found a set of settings which our comfortable on the device yet stills seem to pull the device forward - something which the makes claim its hard to do. (Really?) This then leads to trouble later when my penis feels its already about to fall out.

Previously I had said that you couldn't use this device with a numbered lock as it made the device either a little loose, or, there was no room with that and a padlock. Well I'm giving it a try. It probably won't open - but it will be slightly looser than before.

There is a pinch point on the device in a hard to get place - especially when putting it on. It forms part of the final squeeze to assemble and so is particularly hard to get to. Sometimes I haven't noticed it at all at other times it prevents closure. It was that which led me to try the assembly with a plastic lock as I don't need to force the closure down as much. It isn't however a perfect set up. But will be good to know if it can be worn 'fully plastic' too.

I'm currently thinking that I must be doing something wrong with my penis as the device is hanging slightly too low on me. Then again this might be because I need to loose some weight - and the spare flesh is giving the device a breather. Does this mean I need to have tight abs?

Anyway I'm being called to go (again) so let's see what happens this time.

 

Yesterday I had really high hopes for 'The Vice' and I still believe it has the potential to be a brilliant device. It is however currently - unless I am doing something very much wrong - not suited for my current uses.

The biggest problem is that although the ball trap works really well (even as an escape artist I can use some of the larger settings - in fact the smallest one kills...) but the promised potential not to fall downwards and release the penis seems at best mistaken and at worst reprehensible. I have so far also not been able to get my penis to fill the cage and apply the inner lock.

I've come to the conclusion that they were not lying in their claims must have only tried the device our on thin models. (Test subjects that is.) As although the penis and scrotum don't change that much with dieting the gut and area directly above and behind the penis can get pretty inflated. I'd go as far to say that if I lost some weight my ability to escape from any device would be greatly diminished and especially in the case of the The Vice it would sit far better on me.

I think that on a thin person The Vice's creator that the device is nearly inescapable without much pain or discomfort is probably true. However, transfer that to someone with a bit of a paunch and I think that some of there added anti-escape measures could actually start to work in favour of an escapee... .

When wearing I always feel like my penis is very near the top of the device and about to make a bid for freedom. If I'm I'm not sure that it would but its tempting to push it out and gain freedom not for release but because of the thought of 'it' escaping whilst out somewhere. As mentioned above I can not fault the ball trap ring - especially when my scrotum was fuller - but the thought of being half trapped (especially when it wasn't my fault) and away from home didn't seem like a good option. With the smallest rings it could be very uncomfortable sitting (for me) whilst the third largest (of four) was a little too lose. I therefore tried to head for the second medium ring whilst just about failing to comfortably fit in the small.

The Vice is also quite hard to lock up as the security hole on the top seems to have been designed to just fit the padlock without leaving space. This is good - and holds the device together well, (It's slightly wobbly if you just apply a numbered tag) - but it can be a struggle to get all three holes the padlock needs to go through aligned. Especially when its not easy to get a clear view of where it needs to go.

Lunchtime was quite an uncomfortable experience whilst walking and the device has been on and off a few times since then never quite finding the right balance. After a very slow start I've picked up good speed in fitting the device. But also the more I have done it the more likely I am to catch a stray hair (I know I should/could shave.) and or pinch my anatomy on locking especially in one hard to protect area just before the padlock goes on. I'm wondering again if this hadn't occurred to the creators because they might not have tried the device on anyone with excess flesh to fit around. I've not given up on The Vice yet, but its hard to see how it can comfortably have a place in my daily wear for the moment until I have a firmer, flatter stomach.

* * *

Which leads me to another thought the other day I was thinking about losing weight again. Yesterday I weighted myself as coming in at 108.4kg. Whilst various health calculators say I should weight far less:

• 85.8 Hami
• 82.2 Devine
• 78.6 Robinson
• 77.1 BMI (Average healthy weight)
• 76.0 Miller

An average of these suggested weights (with or without BMI would be 80kg. A difference of nearly 30kg. Not only would these changes be good for health grounds, personal attitude and potentially finding a mate ( - no not keyholder, a mate...), it would also be beneficial - highly beneficial - in getting a device to fit well on me. Was even researching Emlalock (and its equivalents) this morning when I noticed they had a release method by weight. So there's a strong part of my psyche right not which wants to use chastity as a tool for weight loss to ironically be able to chastity more "normally". However, if I can't properly use The Vice until then - as I won't stay in it, and I can't use the cheap Oxballs Cock Lock because it broke on day two and never stays on, and the Pod - needs me to wear clown trousers for comfort and discreetness: then what am I to do? Give up on chastity for the moment?

Oh, there is the Kali's Teeth - That's simple and easy to put on as a night time device and seems to easily last an evening in bed. But that comes with the potential for at least 1 in 3 nights (on current average) to be somewhat painful. Do I really want to put myself through that - especially without good reason. It did cross my mind that I could use the honour system for a while and say put myself in Kali for one night if I orgasmed, (then 2 nights the next time and 3 the time after) ... but would that really work. Or would you need bonus rules - such as one hour for unnecessarily touching your penis - to try and curb temptation. But then it seems things would get tiresome fast and good intentions of carrying this on would quietly fade to nothing.

All I want to do is put on a chastity device and know that it will still be safely clinging on to me in the morning, or when home from work. It doesn't have to be a 100% pain free experience - thought that would be nice - and it doesn't have to be inescapable, that isn't the point of why I'm doing this. But it does have to be an effort to get out. Partly for the kink and partly as a reminder to stay in. At the moment it seems I'm heading away from chastity and more to the ideals of celibacy. Though the two do share a lot in common, especially for a self-locker.

In terms of my chastity journey this puts me at a fairly low ebb and its tempting to dump everything in a drawer and just forget about them for the time being. There's is the potential for coming back to it when I weigh less - but there is also the potential for that never happening ... . Maybe I should be focussing more of my attention on C anyway and less on my cock. Watching Star Wars yesterday the character Rey did little to stop my mind wandering back to her, I think that chastity is making me soft in more ways than one.

So what to do? Uberkinky sent me some free bondage tape when I bought the last device as part of a promotion. I could wind the whole lot around my penis and testicles and hope I never have to pee again ... ... ... . The whole thing is leaving me feeling just that little bit low. Chastity feels like it is becoming much more of an effort than it should be. Frustration is fine, and some game play too, but right now it feels like there is no actual reality to any of this as the devices I have just plain don't work. When I get back to work in the new year I'm just not going to have as much time to mess around with things like this. Hence trying to get it all sorted out now!

Is this the end, or just a bad day? I don't know: But in previous posts I've told you exactly how it is so thought I should continue today.

I'm to go and drink good beer whilst watching bad movies and see if tomorrow is any better. I guess there has to be some lows with the highs.

Merry Christmas...

 

So even in a crappy mood I'm still a bit of a chart geek. Could this be useful?:

 

So, yesterday. Things got to me a little. And if felt a little crap that I couldn't even get chastity right. I mean how hard can it be abstaining from something, right. (I can't not do, not doing... as it were.)

Anyway, today things are a little more sorted and I'm back in the Christmas spirit - kind of. What's more I decided to give the Vice another go but this time with the biggest (XL) ring which I was sure I would fall out of. However so far so good everything seemed to fit nicely and easily. I had thought that everything was going to easily fall through the hole and retreat in to my body, but so far so good. Then the extra access this gave allowed my penis to gain a far superior size (...) than previously when I had been trying out the device being larger than the cage itself. So when it finally all came together for the first time it fitted well.

There was a massive problem with the padlock though as I could not get all the (three) holes to line up right. In the end I copped out and used another of the security tags to lock it in place rather than wasting all that effort. Which once again caused a wobbly device - as it needs the pressure from the padlock to hold everything in place. Then a brainwave - why not add an extra tag. Which seems to have worked so far keeping everything in place.

I'm not sure everything is in properly so I'm full expecting the device to fall off again - especially without the proper appliance of a padlock (and I promised not to mind if it does) but its definitely progress and leaves a feeling that this device could work. What's more apart from the time when I first sat up, it's comfortable and feels secure. I'm just a little scared - and this might be the wrong wording - to look in my underwear later and see what's happened. I don't want to find a device fallen off and resting at the bottom but the Vice securely locked and hanging on.

Bet, if it does, I won't be saying that in a while.

Apologies for the grumpiness yesterday. Sadly I can't promise it won't happen again.

 

@Jasmic68 ... I am also 6'2" too...

Spent some downtime over Christmas. Though haven't been indulging myself either (if you know what I mean).

I don't have a particularly dirty mind (though I do like the odd innuendo) but my thoughts of C have been getting increasingly hot. She has a great fashion sense (yes its my opinion...) and wears fitting but not revealing clothes... . [Her body, her rules...] and that's how I usually day dream about her. This morning though when ever I closed my eyes she was wearing knickers [American; Panties(?)] and a tight fitting top or less. Distracting my mind usually works - but today only seemed to make the underwear smaller...

I reached for the computer when the rules of the dream began to change and C started to become more assertive... ... ... . As I'm currently not locked in after Christmas and a minor cold. this could have been bad. (Both for chastity and my feelings on that kind of stuff.)

Going to really need to be more proactive about her in the new year.

 

Can't get her out of my head.

 

Did it again. Put on a chastity device before spending a night in the pub with C. Fortunately this one is a little more forgiving than the Pod. The stretch and 'lift' an erection caused though did make for a slightly uncomfortable evening - and I avoided standing for a bit in case I did myself damage.

Then there was the part when she started talking about a TV soap where the characters seem to spend most of their time in their underwear... (I won't bother detailing the context...). Which looped me straight back to this morning - wouldn't have been so much of a problem if there hadn't of been three other friends at that point sharing the conversation with us. Normally this would be an opportune moment for a slightly/highly inappropriate remark but ended up being a subject that I just couldn't win on ... ... ... .

The Vice still feels a lot more uncomfortable than usual. Which I'm taking as a sign that it is fitted better. So I really ought to give it more time to settle rather than ripping it off (as I want to at the moment). This might have something to do with the fact that I fitted it after a few (Christmas) beers, oh and tried to close the device whilst I was erect which is by far the easiest choice in this device - there is not loose flesh to get caught where the pin should go. You don't need to force it down either, just apply constant, gentle, force until finally everything snaps in place.

Tomorrow I have to go back into the city centre with a friend for the afternoon. Hoping the sting settles down before I leave at midday or I might have to consider taking it off again. Already opted for plastic locks knowing that (in today's climate) there might be a security check to go through when we arrive.

For the moment, I'm watching a late night movie and wondering what will happen when I finally decide to try sleep. Will I be greeted by C in my sleep again?; and is that a bad thing?

[Note to self: Keep posts on topic to chastity rather than pathetic emotional baggage.]

[[Oh, come on brain. Stop over thinking - just show me C in her knickers - if that's what it takes ... . Just turn off brain. Turn off. I really need a good nights sleep.]]

 

Spent a few days offline due to illness. Still not sure if I'm going out for New Year's Eve.

Seems as if there is a decision in the offing. Either chastity or C - both together would be too difficult to handle(/explain) at least to begin with.

Chastity doesn't feel like it would be an issue with C, anyway. Not because we would be at it like rabbits (we wouldn't), but because if she wanted me to - I would (without the need for it to be locked in a cage).

There was another thread on this site about someone who gave up the chance for a relationship over commitment to his Dom who (although not sexual) didn't want him with other women. Then she cancelled the agreement and the potential spark might have been missed.

At the end of the day what's more important - staying chaste and true to an ideology or finding the woman of your dreams.*

____________________________________
* and then actually doing something about it.