I am a newly active participant in male chastity. I discovered the concept several years ago, and my fascination has only grown since then. It started out as just a passing curiosity that quickly found its way into my fantasies. My wife and I have always been pretty reserved as far as bedroom activities go, so I never brought up the topic. I would explore the concept on my own when we were separated due to business trips etc. by not reaching an orgasm until we were together again. Those experiences started to make me consider bringing up the subject with her, but it still took three years for me to muster the courage to bring it up. Last month I finally broke the ice on the subject. We had just gone through a period where we had to abstain from intercourse for health reasons for a couple of months. I confessed to her that during that period, I would “take matters into my own hands” every two or three days or so and that I felt guilty about it. I told her I wanted to try not to have an orgasm for at least a week; by this time, we were having intercourse again, so that was quite a challenge for me, as we were still fooling around, as usual, that week. It was a new experience for both of us, while I have been able to hold out for five days at a time, it was always by myself, this time we were together. We both noticed some of the physical and emotional effects associated with male chastity, so after that week, I asked her if she had seen any changes in how we spent our time together. I had decided to use her response as a gauge to determine if I should bring up the use of a chastity device or drop the subject altogether and return to the way things were previously. Her response to the question was positive, so my heart was pounding out of my chest as I handed her the book, Male Chastity by Lucy Fairbourne https://www.amazon.com/Male-Chastity-Keyholders-Lucy-Fairbourne/dp/1905605145. I asked her just to read the book so that we could have a serious discussion afterward. We had several conversations over the next few days. On June 25th, 2020, my wife became my Key Holder. We are obviously very new to all of this and are in a trial period, but things appear to be going well. I am still keeping a close eye on the situation, as I cannot completely tell if she is just humoring my desires or if she is really enjoying herself. Only time will tell, but regardless of whether or not we make this part of our lives, I feel these last couple of weeks has brought us closer together.
Make sure she understands that there is no “right” way, only HER way. That book may overwhelm her with her thinking she has to do everything in it to do it right. Tell her all she needs to do is hold the key and only unlock you when SHE wants to and let things evolve from there. Tell her that you prefer quality over quantity and you don’t want sex unless she really wants it rather than doing it out of some sort of obligation. Keep it simple and don’t dump 10 years of fantasy on her or she will most likely pull back.
Congratulations you are off to a positive start. If nothing else you have now been able to communicate your innermost fantasies with your woman which in itself will go along way to increase your intimacy. You are sure to have bumps in the road as most vanilla women struggle with coming to terms with chastity and understanding. Keep the lines of communication open always. It is imperative you are both able to talk through your feelings. I believe chastity only has benefits for the Key Holder however societal norms weigh heavy on the good vanilla wife. It has been through age, maturity confidence in myself and great communication I have been able to cast those societal norms aside. No doubt your woman will be able to see the change in you and your focus on her will empower her to accept and enjoy chastity. Best wishes and welcome to the club
I hope you realise what you may have let yourself in for! With some women (Mrs Chaste), once they get the hang of it and recognise the benefits for them in having their husbands safely under lock and key there is no going back. We started 7 years ago and I'm now kept chaste 24/7. Do we have any regrets? None at all, other than not discovering chastity sooner. Mrs Chaste has never had so many orgasms and I've never had so few. I enjoy using my tongue and the strap on. And she loves keeping me frustrated. I think I enjoy my wife's orgasms at least as much as she does. I hope you both have endless fun! Enjoy.
That's excellent advice. The first conversation we had after she read the book was to explain that the book did not completely represent everything I was feeling or desired. I told her exactly what you recommended, that if she decided to explore chastity further that it would be on her terms, and I would not pressure her to do anything she did not feel comfortable doing.
Thank you for the warm welcome and advice. The first week was a little rough for her; she had a hard time understanding why I would suggest we try something so far from our usual activities. Luckily for me, she is an amazingly patient and intelligent woman. She did some additional research on her own, and we had some very open conversations which seemed to bring her out of her shell. She does seem to be opening up to the concept more and more, I've seen her smile in ways I have never seen before.
When I first brought it up, I prepared myself for the potential of a 24/7 situation. The thought of making chastity part of our lifestyle does excite me a bit, but I am also aware that the reality of the situation is probably a little different than what I have in mind. No matter how things turn out, my primary goal is to ensure my wife is happy and having as much fun as possible, which I'm pretty sure she is. She gets a twinkle in her eye every time she teases me, and I can't hide my growing frustration. She has told me a couple of times already that I may have created a monster.
Thank you all for the warm welcome. This seems like a great community of supportive people who are not scared of doing things a little differently. I look forward to sharing experiences and supporting others through our journeys.
Welcome and best of luck with your journey. I think the old saying of "careful what you wish for" may have been created by someone living a chastity lifestyle. My wife has yet to read up on any literature, but has taken to the role of being in charge a few times and seems to quite enjoy it. We started maybe a month earlier than you, and I am locked the majority of the time (at my own doing). Encourage the behaviors / mannerisms that you find appealing, her confidence and knowledge will only grow. If you have a session just for her, tell her how much you enjoy it, if she does something you like, for example a tease in your cage or denies you sexual release, again, tell her that is what you want.
We recently discussed how far we've come since the Mrs embraced this chastity lifestyle full on. Made only possible by her willingness to share this with me. As am I, you are fortunate to have someone willing to share this journey with you. Congratulations and best of wishes.
Thank you for the advice. I have been trying to encourage her wherever possible, and things seem to be going very well.