Making some changes....

Where shall I start? I've always been somewhat of a doormat. I am a co-dependent who spends all her time trying to make people happy, but never doing much to make herself happy, so for many years I just didn't make waves and in the process made myself very miserable. Seemed like I was getting run over and trampled on at every turn.

Just over three years ago, I met my sub, my pet, and the love of my life. He was/is so good to me, but I had no idea about chastity or submissive males. I had no dealings with them before and so when he started mentioning this "notion" to me that I would be in charge, I was a bit taken aback at first. Why would he want such a thing?! He would be giving up 24/7 access to his own personal little play toy! That sounded crazy to me, but I read articles about chastity and devices and one day I had an idea that it might just be a good thing and so I placed the order for the CB3000, which would eventually cause lots of changes in my life and my sub's life!

Through our chastity lifestyle, I have been encouraged by my pet to speak up for myself; ask for things; and to use the device to get our goals accomplished. Over time, I began being more assertive not only at home, but also at work and I have to say that it feels GREAT! I still have a long way to go on my own journey with chastity, but I am starting to realize that I am thankful everyday that my pet is taking such good care of me. I know that I was a wreck before, but :character0117::character0117:that is all changing! In turn, I intend to make sure he is well taken care of. As my pet is codependent too and won't ever pamper himself, I make it my business to see that he is treated like a good slave and receives the things he needs and wants. Despite my skepticism in the beginning, I have to say, only good has come from this so far and I can't wait to see what changes the chastity journey will continue to have in store for my pet and I!:character0117:

 

My thoughts

Thanks guys for your reply Stroppy and S & S MISTRESS's boy toy! I hope my thoughts help you to understand the woman's point of view. Women live in a whole different frame of mind from guys. I have been most fortunate to work with men throughout my career. Most of the time it is me and one or two men in a small office environment. (I am a paralegal). All day long my job is to take instructions from men and do the things I am instructed to do. I manage every tiny detail of their office(s) dusting the furniture to paying the bills, plus take instructions from them about letters to send, documents to be filed with the court, etc. This role comes naturally to me as I have been taught by a very nurturing mother that a woman's role is to take care of everybody around me (husband--in my case a boyfriend, children, family, friends). Needless to say, becoming a domme has not come naturally to me, but rather it is a thing I am learning to do over the course of time, albeit reluctantly at first. It felt very unnatural to me to "boss somebody around." LOL!:happy0192: I finally had to learn to view my duties as a Goddess as yet another way of taking care of one of the people I love, so I am learning to be comfortable in sort of a different type of nurturing role. Maybe my posts will help you to understand why your wives/girlfriends react the way they do sometimes about things. :sad0147:

Oh! Just as a side note, my pet discovered a book on male chastity the other day on Amazon and asked me to have a look at it. He said if I was interested to have it, he would order it for me. So I reviewed the description and told him that I would, in fact, like to read it. He ordered it (was like five or ten bucks), and I am currently reading it now. It's a very good book so far and I would recommend it to guys whose wives or girlfriends are not sure why chastity is a good idea or even necessary sometimes! It's called, "Male Chastity, a guide for keyholders" and written by Lucy Fairbourne. It's been very helpful to me so I thought I should recommend it! Good luck in your chastity journeys everybody! :love0075:

 

Hey Goddess Jen! I think it's a good thing if we both blog about this. It probably helps all the guys out there who want to be in a chastity relationship as well as helps us too! I LOVED reading your post about your past weekend's activities. My pet has instructions to post something each day, even if it's only a small paragraph or a couple of sentences. He stated intentions to post about this past weekend's activities at his house, but I don't think he has done so yet. He is very well written. It will be fun reading when he finally does get to post something!

I honestly have to say that even though I was trying to play along with my pet's chastity lifestyle at first, I wasn't sure what was expected of me, and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to "act". Does being a domme obligate me to be "mean"? It is out of character for me to be mean as normally everybody accuses me of being "too nice". (You wouldn't think there could be such as thing as too nice, but apparently there is.) Anyway, I knew I would be assigning tasks and we originally started with a written "Chastity Agreement", but neither of us has much willpower and some of the things we put in the agreement felt harsh to me, and some things seemed a bit risky and outlandish at the time. I've since started coming around to a new way of thinking about chastity though and am reconsidering some of the things now.

Among the things we agreed on, whippings were to be a form of punishment, however, I know that my pet enjoys a good spanking and even likes a whipping on occasion. At one point, I was tying his wrists to eyebolts in the ceiling and ankles to eyebolts in the floor and whipping him with a keen switch until we were both exhausted. Punishment? No! Not at all! It ended up making us both horny and raring to go! Who knew!?! So then I was struggling with what is punishment and what is not? If he enjoys his whipping, then it must not be a punishment, right? But I recently figured out that to be a punishment, it has to be unpleasant for him so I apparently was not applying enough muscle behind my paddle and cane! Anyway, I guess what I am saying is that chastity is alot of trial and error. Everybody has different ideas about how it will work. Every slave is different and every Goddess is different and so while the ground rules may be basically the same (keeping their little c_cks locked in a cage to make them mindful of their roles in their relationships), the goals and punishments can be vary widely. Sadly, I am apparently a slow learner and it has taken alot of reading and thinking to come around to this realization. Duh!

One last thought for the ladies..... :butterfly: I have learned that the more you put into it, the more you get out of it. For example, after a rough week of brooding and considering my relationship with my pet and what he wants and what I want and considering the way our children effect our relationship (He has three at his house and I have three at mine), I decided I needed to make a change. I announced to my pet that I had decided to up my game. He seemed a bit nervous at first, but once he saw that I was trying to be more decisive, more vocal about my wants and needs, etc., I was amazed that he upped his game too! The oral sex has always been awesome, but now it's mind blowing! My whole body feels like Jello when he is finished, and he takes more time and lingers on the places that drive me wild!! I also am getting way more foot massages--with his tongue!!!! He runs his tongue over the arch of my foot and along the ends of my titty pink toenails, and it absolutely makes me cream myself! OMG! I honestly didn't believe he could up his game and was I ever wrong!

Well, I have probably rambled enough for the evening so I'll stop. A good evening to all of you.:character0114: Enjoy!

 

Yes happypants, even a Goddess has things to learn about her slave! BTW your Goddess says the most wonderful and delicious things about you! You are truly the love of her life and what a great couple you two seem to make! I believe your Goddess and I have alot to learn from each other! I enjoy reading her posts. Feel free to chime in with your thoughts any time. I find it to most helpful to hear from the slaves's point of view.

P.S. I was firm on Sunday when I punished my slave for not finishing his chores last of week. I'm curious to see if I was firm enough. :whipbang: We'll see if he gets his list done this week. LOL!

 

I understand. So my pet was a bad boy last week and didn't get his chores done, plus he didn't take his ADD meds which made him cranky. Sunday was punishment day, so since it was a punishment, I made an effort to make the paddle really sting his ass. It was very red. The pics didn't do it justice. I put my hand on his ass a few times to see if it was warming up nicely because I really meant to light his ass on fire! I secured him in place by tying a rope around his balls and running it under his desk and tying the other end to his wrists so he couldn't get up and get away. Then, just to check and see whether he was enjoying it or if it was really a punishment, I reached underneath and grabbed his sweet little cock. It was oozing pre-cum which aggravated me just a bit so I swatted the boys a few times with the paddle which made him groan and squirm. Then I wore his ass out with my switch for awhile and paddled him some more just to be sure. I still am not sure it was effective motivation. I just think it's really hard to punish someone by paddling when you know they enjoy being spanked!

He says I should spank him until I make him cry. I would be worn completely out by then I think. He's a tough guy! LOL!

 

Hey Jen! Woohoo! He would LOVE you to take a crack at it. He begged me for a spanking party for his birthday. Just wanted a group of people to come whip his sweet little ass. I couldn't find any willing participants at the time. Pout Pout! We could have a spanking contest to see which one of us could make his ass redder! :smilies_xxx22::sex020: :happy0007:

 

Oh Goddess Jen! I would never ask you to leave your pet at home for the spanking! He could come help too! After all, my pet would be bound, gagged and blindfolded and would never know who was busting his hiney! :spankwhip::sex024: Would help your pet ease some of your own pet's frustrations at being locked up!! LOL!:confused0068: