Great idea! Don’t tell anyone

Really? Half?

 

But would their man allow it?

 

@Giles_English , I understand where you're going with this, but my contention is that:
1) Most of these chastity groups (The Mansion and my own forums included) are little self contained bubbles in which there is a lot of reinforcement, and
2) Most of the members are guilty of some degree (some moreso than others) of psychological projection.

My long time assertion is that chastity devices are a kink which depend upon some degree of "willing suspension of disbelief" in order to work according to the sexual / relationship script that is running in our heads. They won't be accepted into mainstream kink culture until they pass the threshold that blindfolds, cuffs, and paddles have done (and that dildos/ vibrators did earlier on).

Unfortunately, a blind search on "male chastity devices" brings up too many associations with cuckolding, sissification, and humiliation - all of which are common enough on this forum (see my point 1 about the bubble), but have little acceptance among mainstream sexual play.

So.

Until a manufacturer or distributor puts the effort and money into advertising these devices as a fun, couples thing, this kink is going to be something that only appeals to a small number of perverts.

 

Very interesting perspective!

 

I think that a lot of men wudnt let a Lady put a cage on them. Or if they did they wud soon want it tooked off and if the Lady wudnt take it of then they wud go mad and smash it off.

 

Most men Ive spoken to wont even try it.The idea is not kinky to them, just cruel

 

Agreed re most of that. Though something like 10-20% of western couples seem to do kink of some kind, so once Chastity does pass that threshold...

 

Absolutely agree with that most wholeheartedly. Most of my relationships which involved chastity play or lifestyle in someway were with women that most would other wise say were vanilla.

 

I think its a matter of perception and the fear of the perception of others if they knew about it. Besides if he 'gives up control' of his so called 'manhood' has he lost it? Al worrying stuff. I'd hazzard at a guess that the popular conception that the more intelligent people are the more likely they are to involve some kind of kink in their lives. And therfore of course the less intelligent are supposedly less likely to do so.

Mathematically on about 75% of the population are of lower intelligence than the higher quartile... read into that and the potential for acceptence of chastity lifestyles what you will

 

It isn't as mainstream as you would hope for due to a lifetime of religious conditioning mixed with a biological need to "fit in" in order to survive with the group. Chastity is viewed as to strange by many if they even know what it is at all. You just have to work hard at being an advocate for chastity and not take it personally when the idea or you get rejected for it. As with many things, once there is a leak in the dam, a flood will follow. Be the leak in the dam.

 

I don't really feel a need to be an evangelist for chastity. If it becomes mainstream, it might lose some of the appeal for me. But that's not the reason. I just don't see any value in trying to spread the word, because I don't think it's for everyone. Just because it works for some people doesn't mean it's going to work for others.

I might tell certain close friends about it, but probably not. I think most everyone would just think that it was just another weird interest of mine. Some would hold it against me. Maybe one might actually try it, but probably not. Too much risk for very little reward.

 

Nobody talks about owning a vibrator because it is considered to be inappropriate in most circumstances, yet many people do own one. People do discuss such things in private with someone who they trust, and give recommendations. More couples would try chastity if honestly discussed with someone who they know has tried it. A good place to start is to explain it in a way that describes it as a fun, exciting, sort of silly thing to do and not be ashamed of. With the right audience, they will see a couple who does chastity as interesting or adventurous. There was a time for most of history when women having sexual enjoyment was a sign that she was a witch or going to hell, and here we are with most households having a vibrator. It didn't just get that way by accident.

 

I think there’s an opening for chastity to become more mainstream as a form of foreplay or “kink-lite” - a little extra to keep in the drawer, to spice things up a bit when you’re playing with those handcuffs that are also in there.

Of course that will appeal to a smaller set of couples who want to push their play a little further. But it doesn’t have to be on a par with building a St Andrew’s cross as far as experimentation, especially now that there are so many inexpensive devices out there.

I think there are still barriers to entry in terms of being able to walk into a local sex toy shop and walk out with something inexpensive that has a reasonable chance of fitting. It’s all available online, of course, but I think seeing it in a shop next to the fuzzy handcuffs and vibrators will make it seem much less foreign and threatening.

A couple of years ago I was surprised to find that a store in town - a local outlet of a national chain that I won’t name, but that rhymes with “Shmadam and Shmeve” - had a couple of plastic CB-x type devices tucked away on a lower shelf. But they were expensive and pretty well hidden. It would be great to see a retailer carry a range of sizes of a decent quality Chinese metal cage.

Maybe I’m showing my age with my faith in retail, but I think with something that most people have never even thought of, it’s friendlier if you can see it in person.

 

The Internet is a wonderful thing. People have access to all sorts of information about all sorts of alternative lifestyles with a click of a mouse--if they wanted to look for it.

But they don't want to, and I'm okay with that. My kinky little lifestyle works fine for me, and I don't have any need to tell those people over there about what I do on the off-chance that one or two of them might find it interesting.

 

Arguably, the fetishistic disavowal you describe (I know very well, but all the same) is the positive condition of sexual relations, even vanilla sexual relations in which the woman knows very well that her stereotypical macho partner’s penis isn’t “the thing she has been lacking”, but all the same, she wants sex with him on the basis that she ignores this knowledge and believes he has the real thing anyway. Equally, the macho guy positions himself as “having “it”” despite (some) awareness of his empirical weaknesses. I don’t see why in principle the whole thing cannot work homologously in mainstream relationships, with the holding of the key taking the place of the penis in stereotypical vanilla relationships. For the locked male, the key is “it”, that thing that will fill the lack in life and the world itself. Of course, it’s juts a key, and an orgasm is just an orgasm. My point is there is no need for a FLR, just a relationship, so perhaps there is less of a kinky hurdle to surmount than you think?

 

There might be one other thing to consider when trying to introduce chastity in a vanilla relationship. In most of the Western world people are taught equality from a very young age. Imagine an unsuspecting vanilla woman suggesting chastity to her vanilla boyfriend or husband. He enthusiastically embraces it, "Oh, honey, that'll be so romantic. Just imagine, you holding my key... and me holding yours."

 

I agree we are taught formal equality, but arguably we still are unconsciously haunted by the idea that to have a penis confers mastery, and to lack one confers subservience. If this is accepted then to achieve the realisation of formal equality only the female should hold the key. Note however my point: the result is equality, not a FLR. Or to put it in the terms of @L-u-c-y , even non kinky vanilla women would benefit from holding the key of their locked male partner.

 

When I was in my twenties, it seemed like a lot of our friends had discussionsn or made comments about things that they had tried. When Mrs Edge and I were dating, a couple of them gave us some kinky gifts (handcuffs, a cheap flogger, etc.) because they knew we were playing around with such things.

In my 40s and 50s, however, I noticed that most of our friends rarely made so much as a dirty joke. I'm not sure what happened. Chemtrails, maybe?

 

I wonder if a lot of folks in china wear them cos they make ever such a lot of them dont they.

 

They don't have their one child policy anymore I believe. So maybe there's not such a need for them in China!