We are new to this. I told my wife that she spent 35 years following me around and helping me, now it's her turn. I'm caged. She's my Key Holder, and now I pleasure in her denial and I look to submit to her every need. This is where I need help. I'm suppose to give her a list of things she can have me do (or do to me) sexually. ...To learn the joy of domination. She removed my cage yesterday and commanded me to masturbate while she used a belt to spank me. She was surprised how much she enjoyed. Usually her commands are more along the line of "scratch my back." I've adopted rules from someone else... Oh! Almost forgot, two list... 1) things I would enjoy... 2) things I would not enjoy (actually I probably)... Our Rules: I can only come when she tells me to and, if she tells me to, I have to (or punished). I must be wearing a chastity device at all times, unless she says otherwise. When it’s not locked, I must never play with the penis without permission. I must never volunteer to her how I feel about having an orgasm and must never ask for one.
Your rules are pretty much standard fare for many of us on CM. Asking for an orgasm or asking to be unlocked are very common problems, I think. When I do that, I have come to expect to have to endure wearing the KTB device for a few hours. (That will get me to quit asking and to quit trying to "top form the bottom")
Our 10 Commandments 1. Your safety, both physically and emotionally, will always be a priority. Your submission to me is a gift and I will treasure you. You are granted a safe word, which you have deemed “Banana.” If ever things are too much or too intense, you are free to use your safe word without punishment or humiliation. Likewise, you will never be punished by me withholding affection for you. However, you must accept all punishments and corrections. You are my treasure and my most prized possession, and any correction or punishment is only to better serve as your Domme and to better train you for your role and my expectations. Additionally, your trust is critical in our relationship. I expect your trust that I would never put you in harm’s way or break any of your hard limits. If ever there is a physical need for your cage to be removed or for us to abstain from intercourse, your need will not be questioned. Additionally, you need to inform me if your physical or emotional energy is low or will restrict you from properly serving me. Communication needs to be clear and honest. 2. You are expected to share your needs and desires; though, as your Domme, I may decide that the deed is not warranted at that time or that the “reward of your fantasy” has not been earned at that time. You do not get to cum simply because you desire it. If your “need” or “desire” is communicated in a way that I perceive to be rude or demanding, you will be denied and punished. Punishments can include, but are not limited to spankings, ruined orgasms, or more time in your cage or in abstinence. 3. You are expected to care for my penis and to keep the hair groomed. Your penis is mine, and I like to keep my belongings in pristine shape. Should your new cage be more restrictive, you will be granted time to remove it for cleaning and grooming, just as you have been. If ever this grooming time is used for pleasuring yourself, you will receive a punishment and will only be allowed to groom under my direct supervision thereafter. 4. You are not allowed to touch my penis without my explicit permission outside of my presence (with the exception of grooming and going to the restroom). Even when granted permission to touch my penis, you are also not allowed to cum without my explicit permission. Additionally, you will follow any given instructions to the best of your ability. This includes using toys, method of contact, and technique. 5. Your primary focus is to please me as your Domme. You will worship my body. You will worship my pussy, especially when given the opportunity to lick or play with it. Likewise, you will worship my ass. You will display your hunger for either by licking and pleasing each with vigor and intensity. Only after I am fully pleased will the consideration be made to let you orgasm. This is my decision and you are NOT to beg for it. You should not let the possibility of orgasm be your focus. If and when you are granted an orgasm is my decision alone. You also should strive to please me with actions like foot kissing, massages, painting my nails, etc. This pleasure is not a test and you may ask me what would please me if you are not sure. 6. I will not control what you wear everyday, but I will state my preference as I see fit. However, if and when you are instructed to wear something (i.e. panties, lingerie, collar, etc.), you will do so without complaint. You will also, should the need arise, verify your clothing and or cage via show in person or picture messages. Likewise, you will follow other directions and offer proof as directed. This may include sending proof of an act, or of a state of being. This proof should be offered as soon as possible (without exact time limits) when at work; however, on days you are not working, this proof should be offered in a timely fashion. 7. You will show your appreciation for any attention received, whether for punishment or pleasure. Maintenance spankings are necessary to bring us closer. These are not meant to be painful. These spankings will include intimacy, with possible orgasm built in and me comforting you afterwards. 8. Your obedience is expected to be 100%. You agree to follow my direction and commands both in and outside the bedroom. You will be granted a key to use only in emergency situations. That key is to be offered up for inspection as I demand. (Edit...I have given her both keys) 9. On mornings and nights we spend together, you are expected to pleasure me before either rising or sleeping. This type of pleasure might change based on the circumstance. On mornings and nights we are not together, you are expected to greet me in the morning (the medium is your choice) and say goodnight (again, the medium is your choice). Failure to do so will result in a punishment. 10. At home and in “non-vanilla” situations, you will refer to me as Mistress or Amanté. This also applies to text messages. In “vanilla” settings, you may address me by name. Doing so will reinforce your submission to me. Likewise, I will refer to you as My Pet or Nicci at home and in non-vanilla situations. We have added to this verbally, certain expectations. 11. I clean up my cum, although I still need a forceful hand after a full orgasm. 12. When possible and practical, try for once a week, I dress as maid and clean and organize the house and give her whatever pampering needed. 13. She is working on making a calendar for maintenance spankings. A. My Hard limit of maid service removed B. My hard limit of no ball spankings/ squeezing removed. C. I have agreed to take off all limitations on spankings and can continue past tears if she feels it is needed. Anyway that is where we are at now.
Wow, you are way down the road. Sounds very sexy. I'm just hoping that my wife KH, feels some level of control over our sex life.
She wrote them after a few months after we started and she knew that this is what she wanted. I believe she did a lot of research and internet browsing on FLR before committing to all of this.
My wife is like yours, always putting my needs first. Our chastity rules are almost exactly like yours. We started our 5th year of Chastity recently and while my wife is in charge in the bedroom, nothing has changed in our non sexual life. My wife is a people pleaser and alway will be. I tried 3 times to change our marriage to a FLR, like you did, but you cannot change a person's nature. Our ex girlfriend on the other hand is a natural born dominant/sadist with a chip on her shoulder about men. We were a perfect S&M couple. She tried to make my wife more dominant but it never worked.