Why does your KH never let you O?

Well, this isn't quite a "my KH NEVER let' me have an O" But if she didn't, I know why. I withdraw after an orgam. Sometimes for more than 5 days. It's as if everything I do leading up to one is purely to have it. Then once I have it, I'm simply not interested anymore. This isn't true with everyone, it is true with me. Of course I still enjoy them, and my wife enjoys receiving it. But we know the cost. As a result, I get to have it less. Sometimes we'll do PIV but I'll withdraw after she climaxes.

 

I’m allowed a decent amount of orgasms per year, so no help with answers on “no orgasms” aspect.
But due to a cyst in the wall of muscle in my Wife’s vagina causing severe pain, piv wasn’t an option for about 6 weeks, then surgery and healing time, we went another 4 months without piv. We did grind together often as orgasms relieved pain for her, we’d use a bullet vibe between us, me caged most of those times, eventually after surgery she allowed oral again too. Neither of us felt a loss of intimacy or suddenly drifting apart at all, of course piv feels amazing and steps things up, but I didn’t feel a drop off really while piv wasn’t an option.
Once she was cleared by her doctors for penetration again, we finally tried piv a few times over a week, no O for me, we definitely had missed it, it was heavenly even though it would be considered very vanilla and very slow and gentle. Unfortunately she’s still experiencing some discomfort from it over a week later. So I’m trying to prepare mentally that piv may become extremely rare for me, and while that’s mildly disappointing, I know however things proceed, we’ll still connect in that loving / spiritual, intimate way no matter how “sex” looks for us.
I would imagine that those who have partners that just choose to not allow piv probably have similar feelings about it.

 

My wife loves the control she has on my penis and also when I am allowed orgasms. She also does love a good hard cock from time to time and as she says, "a good fuck" to help her mind relax.

 

Never is a strong word, she let's me on a decided upon time. Not going to rock the boat asking why and ruin a good thing. If I had to guess it's a control thing.

 

I asked her. She said, "because you are mine to please myself with when I see fit." She wants a slave with full balls all of the time. She has zero interest in my sexual desires, she just wants me there in case she wants to use her penis and balls for sex rather than them just being tortured and used to control me.

 

I'm sure some people may go years, I never will. In our case it's largely decided by if we're getting a hotel in say 3 weeks she'll make me wait. Or she has me roll four dice and that's my time. How I got 19 days this time. I'm certain it's a control thing. Control the dick, control the man. We are simple creatures.

 

I can meditate and have an orgasm, caged or not. No one can disallow that. It's ultimately a choice.

She doesn't want me to have an orgasm since she likes me being horny and dislikes the drop I experience. I agree, and it's working well for us.

My last orgasm, or ejaculation, was in March 2023, so it's been around 13 months.

Once you get past the insane parts, you can enjoy a beautiful calmness associated with the state of constant and almost unbearable horniness.

Like all difficult endeavours, such as walking or talking, it requires determination, resilience, practice, and patience, which is why most people fail at it.

 

I had my final orgasm almost two years ago. I’m told that I’ll never have another. It pleases my owner to keep me permanently denied and being controlled by her is what I most desire. It’s humiliating to be this way and I have always craved humiliation. So the answer to your question from me is simply that you and I are differently wired.

 

I go a few months between ruineds and year(s) between "real" (piv) O's. Was NOT my choice but I find Im not only accepting it but enjoying the lifestyle. The "why" is a discussion I have been posting for years on the Journal section here, but I will sum up a few key points in no particular order:
1. She loves the control and I love her.
2. The continuous dopamine high of denial is much higher than a few orgasmic spikes.
3. The post orgasm drop is real and it bothers me much more now.
4. The closeness it creates in our relationship is irreplaceable. The butterflies are still there - isnt that worth it?

But doesnt mean your formula isnt perfect for you!

 

About a month ago i had my only orgasm of 2024. She just decided during her bedtime oral I was to have sex with her. It was wonderful. She deprives herself of her need for piv sex because she cares so much about our chastity journey and my training and I am very grateful for that. She is a true domme and prefers me licking her and being underneath her. I spend a large amount of time between her legs.

 

So my wife really enjoys the control over my dick/pleasure/orgasms to the point that she has realized that denying me pleasure, even when she wants PIV, turns her on so much more than the PIV. Also, just because she doesn’t want me to orgasm doesn’t mean we don’t have PIV, it just means that when we do have PIV I can’t orgasm. Granted, I have only been unlocked and inside of her pussy twice this year. She had several orgasms and I had none. Lastly, and more to the point of your question my wife denies me orgasms because when she does my craving for her goes through the roof. She enjoys feeling wanted and her denying me to make me crave her even more. For my sexuality, I’ve long known that I enjoyed the chase way more than the actual orgasm, in keeping me locked and denied I am persistently in the chase mode and never able to catch her if you will. Also FYI, the post orgasm drop is much more pronounced if one only gets orgasms a handful of times a year. Basically keeping me denied keeps me riding a high almost 24/7 and when the orgasm hits and the high disappears, it is massive and for me lasts way more than just a few hours. I feel that it takes me a week to recover from a full fledge orgasm but another week to get back to the same level of craving/attention/submission I was prior to the orgasm. This is also felt massively by my wife which makes her feel unwanted when compared to the highest level of desire just moments before the orgasm.

Also, when one doesn’t get to “orgasm” one really understands that in men the “orgasm” really is two parts. First is the actual orgasm which is in very rapid succession followed by ejaculation. Since I focus so much on not “cumming” I’ve realized that I do experience an orgasm without the ejaculation. It is the ejaculation that causes the drop whereas the orgasms promotes the submissiveness and continual emotional intimacy.

 

A few reasons. Now that she sees the difference between how I am after sex without orgasm she’s realized she’s not a fan of the “drop” (I used to lose you for a while afterwards she has said). She definitely gets off on the power and control as well, being able to say no to a previously expected outcome. Finally by only allowing one per year it’s a very strong incentive for me to make sure when the time comes she doesn’t change her mind, so she gets an entire year of (mostly) unquestioning cooperation from me.

 

Damn this was good!

 

Pondering the above I became curious about a new statistic.......how posters opinions and views may be affected by the duration since their last orgasm (5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? 5 months? 5 years? In other words should we trust the word of someone who came 5 minutes ago telling us he can go 5 months "no problem"??

 

I had my release day yesterday, doesn't mean I can't go the next month. One thing has nothing to do with the other really.

 

For me, it's not that I become an asshole, although my wife may think so. What happens is I leave her alone. I'd rather watch what I want to watch on TV and if she'd rather watch something else in a different room, then fine. If she asks me, "So, how was your day?" (A harmless enough question), my answer the day after an orgasm is "Fine". The day after not cumming, my answer would be, "Oh, pretty good. It was so nice outside, I loved it.. How about yours?"

That's the difference. It's real and it's happened my entire life. It took chastity to figure out what was going on.

 

Hubby is erection and ejaculation free because it's a turnoff for me to see his small cock erect and cum dribbling, the view with the micro cage on is much nicer. There is no medical reason for ejaculations and only the permanent locked status helps to shrink his small cock even further. I believe in female sexuality only in our femdom relationship. Male mess making is something of the past and over.

 

I’m glad you don’t buy into the superstition about not ejaculating being bad for health!

 

She allows me orgasms although albeit infrequently. I am owned by Her and caged by Her and She decides how and when I orgasm and I love it. My submission to Her is better than any orgasm She allows me.