So my wife and I tried ball busting a month or so ago. It did not go well and is something do not want to try again. Fast forward to just an hour. She had sent me a text that said, "Do the dishes while I'm gone and vacuum downstairs." I didn't get right on it and while I was in the middle of doing the dishes, she came home. She greeted me with a kiss and squeezed my balls. Hard. So hard I doubled over in pain. She said they were supposed to be done before she got home. I appoogized, said I lost track of time and it won't happen again. I think she was legitimately trying to punish me since she knew I didn't enjoy our try at ball busting, but problem is, I fucking loved this. I've been hard ever since just thinking about it, and already hoping it happens again soon. What am I supposed to do here? Part of me doesn't want to tell her because a huge part of the enjoyment was her literally being upset and punishing me with pain, and I'm afraid if I told her I really liked it that if she did it again it wouldnt be the same. On the other hand I don't want to keep something from her. I'd appreciate any advise if you've been in a similar situation yourself. Thanks.
If you love her, you talk to her. Ask if she is willing to talk about the fun you had with her and ask whether she was up to listening to your feelings
My experience with woman has been generally they know darn well what's going on in my mind, Now that's not to say that women always know the fine points in pushing buttons, but I think they usually know what a man wants from them. At least in my experience its been true.
You need to talk with her about this and your feelings. As far as ball busting there are other forms of punishments. My Goddess uses her crop or paddle. Yes it turns me on thinking about it also. Good luck.
The whole corporate punishment is weird. You probably don't like the pain from having your balls squeezed but you enjoy the power it gives to your partner, right? If your male coworker squeezed your balls you wouldn't enjoy it I think you should tell your wife how it made you feel. There is a big chance if she knows you somehow enjoyed it that she will love doing it
I love when she cares to redden my backside or to bust or squeeze my balls. It's the power I love and her being totally in control
Yes exactly, I hadn't thought about it that way but of course. Hell these are only somethings a dominant woman can do to me... and give me pleasure. I sometimes wonder if I put too much thought into this, I may end up curing myself of enjoying the BDSM scene with a dominatrix and then where would I be? Watching football..Golf?? Doing crossword puzzles.
i'm not really convinced Women know or care whats going on inside the male mind, only that it tries desperately to find ways of being sexually stimulated. Lets be honest, most of us males started out in this lifestyle with 2 key things in the forefront of our minds: Dominant Women turn us on sexually and it compels and consumes us. We desperately hope Dominant Women use their own initiatives to be cruel to us in various manifestations, without us having to suggest and/or prompt. males are no more complicated than that when it comes to D/s.
I like this thought how un complicated we are, "I" am. I am simply in awe of a woman's body, nothing special just as many I want to touch lick rub against feel and smell.
I’m curious if the excitement from the proposed punishment will correct your behavior? Means to an end, regardless of whether it was supposed to punish you or not?
If my Mistress were to just threaten me with abuse and never carry out the threat, she would lose stature in my mind. That she sometimes decides to abuse me, when and how severe she chooses increases my desire to worship her. That no matter what I do or say, but at her whim she might just tell me to present myself for punishment, and no amount of begging will help, and I dare not refuse her. Also despite my use of a safe word, from experience, I know she may choose to ignore it if she wishes heightens my adoration of the woman. The pain and discomfort from the punishment proves to me she is in charge.
If she ignores your safeword, that seems to negate the reason for having a safeword and flies in the face of coventional wisdom. I get that it may seem hot, but there's a reason that safewords exist.
For me I don't really have a safe "word" My safe word is extreme begging and she does make me grovel. and as for my begging, she just doesn't accept it the first few times. In this manner it makes me realize the control I thought I had I don't really have. In this way she lets me know that I don't have a "safe word", what I have is a means of begging her. She doesn't stop because I say so, instead she goes further, and as far as I can tell, she has complete control if she chooses to ignore my "begging'. That's why she incorporates bondage sometimes, I then know she doesn't intend on listening to me. Some times during a session, she tells me I'm not allowed to speak and then I am worried. I think its necessary for a Mistress to be the one who decides when to stop, Now my mistresses are always professionals, and usually women who I have been with many times, so they know their trade well. I have been on occasion really frightened by mistresses, and it was so pleasureable
Id like to add one thing, I have no idea what being married to a dominatrix is like so I don't pretend to talk about that area of BDSM. I would think if you are in a D/s mode in married life then you must each develop a set of rules that each of you feel comfortable with..
One very important statement from my very vanilla partner who actively trains horses .... You really wouldn't want true S&M if I delivered it. I aim to correct in the first hit and never to require a second, but set me off and I will deliver a thousand hits until you fall and don't get up. I have seen her break whips, crops, wooden pitchforks (under good reason not frivolous). So as stated earlier ..... most are in the funishment catagory of life ....
I'm sorry anyone misunderstood anything I said, I never felt we were talking about S&M or what was possible, brass knuckles, baseball bats, the occasional knee crusher using a sledge hammer and wedges, I do agree those things would need a good old safe word.
LOL, I will often “screw up” just so I can get punishment. Sometimes I like it, other times I get too much of what I wanted. Like last night. Thought I was going to get a bit of funishment because I was slow in helping her fold clothes. She tied me spread eagle and gagged and blindfolded me. The she unlocked me. Instead of some light whipping she put clips on my nipples, on my balls and the worst put two on the very tip of my penis. Then she went into the bathroom and colored her hair, let it sit for 20 minutes and took a shower. My gagged pleas were completely ignored. An hour later I was in agony. She came in and took all the clips off and rode me to her orgasm and locked me right back up. As she untied me she asked if I was going to help her next time. I guarantee that I will. The first ten minutes were great. After that it sucked.
I never do it. I screw up enough... I wish she would punish me more often though... (back to square 1) haha.
Her favorite instrument is a spatula with a heart I cut into it for her. as bad as it hurts, I wish she would use it more often to keep me focused.
If you hate the actual ballbusting experience, but get excited about it afterward, i would say that you love the fact that she is exercising her power over you. I wouldnt say that you loved the ballbusting itself. That is totally normal. I get the same feelings. I absolutely hate being whipped or paddled by my wife. But when it is over, i get really turned on knowing that she is exercising that kind of power over me. It is always worth discussing though. Maybe devise a “playful” setting for ballbusting, and keep it seperate from ballbusting as a punishment. That is unless ballbusting happens to be your fetish. Then it should be strictly for play. Because obviously fulfilling your sexual fantasy isnt a very good punishment. My wife knows I enjoy having my head scissored between her legs. I wont lie, it can be extremely painful. But my wife would never use it as a punishment because she knows i enjoy it (even though it doesnt seem like it while she is doing it).
Same here. We had brought up the idea of safe words a long time ago. We agreed that we would not use safe words. Its not really a punishment if i can tell her to stop anytime i want. The only thing we use safewords for is breathplay. But she is not a fan of it, so its very rare.