One of the rules which we agreed on very early in our FLR, was that I should never use Miss Amanda's name when we were in private, or amongst people who were aware of our lifestyle, and that I should avoid as far as possible using it in any other circumstances. This was introduced as a mark of respect to her, and a sign of my submission to her. There are a very few occasions when it is impossible to avoid, for instance when introducing her to people, but now I am so used to avoiding saying the word, that it is actually quite difficult to do. Does anyone else have restrictions like that on words that they can use?
When he's in chastity or under discipline, it's Miss Cecilia or Ma'am. I'm 13 years older than him, so Ma'am doesn't bother me.
Never had the need to do that. We used our own names and that worked too. It was only the tone of voice.
Madam <name>, Mon Femme, Ma’am, I say I love you, thank you, and use her first name then sometimes but it looks like that is normally not stuff done around here. I’m formal unless she is breaking me you know?
I agree, I think she is ok with it, but I should ask at some point I think. I’m trying to give up some controls in these areas and we didn’t really discuss everything upfront. It’s a really strange grey area between vanilla and dom stuff all the time.
For example, she strongly encourages use of the new words and use of chastity. But wants me to initiate some sex. I dislike breaking character and don’t know when or if that’s ok to do in long term chastity play. I think I need to hear her desires out fully. Name stuff falls in to this category as we use pet names so much usually and they switched to bdsm names now.
Trust your Mistress. FLR is what she decides it is. Don't try to impose your fantasy on it, embrace her choices. If she loves you, and I'll assume she does, you will arrive at the place you need to be. It takes years to develop, and it never stops evolving.
Thank you MABs, this submission thing gets deep quick on so many levels. It’s almost an exercise in meditation removing desires to give in to this stuff thinking about another person fully in their want. There’s many parts to this!
Yes there are many parts to it, and every couple works out how they want it to be. There are no laws, only your Mistress' wishes.
She wants to see me grow in to a strong young man and has guided me the last 8 years. I love and owe her and her guidance so much. I trust her wishes so much now, it’s scary.
Oh! On that note she had me start learning a foreign language because she thought it would be sexy and useful. I agree, beautiful language and I can speak it pretty fluently to her now.
it's good but your Mistress shouldn't have to forbid you to swear, it should have been something you stopped by yourself
I understand, and I would say, if a swear slip out, then a punishment is needed but it's still something I think the Mistress doesn't have to worry about, the sub should know better
Requirements for following specific forms of address started back in the early stages of our FLR. It took some getting used to, although it honestly became second nature after awhile. Having to use specific titles is a simple way in which to reinforce our roles and instill the level of respect I have for her. I am expected to use either "Mistress Jenna" or "Madame J" at all times, unless otherwise excused (which is basically only when we are around family and vanilla friends). When in doubt, I am permitted to use my best judgement and go with a simple "ma'am" or "miss." When I make a mistake (and I am human after all) or am otherwise verbally disrespectful, I am often subjected to corrective discipline in order to help make me more mindful of my speech, like writing several lines of apologies or having a ball gag locked on for an extended period.
I am not permitted to use madams first name, it is always madam, goddess, my owner, my queen. That’s is both in private and public.