In 2015, I posted an entry about how things were going so well in our FLR. I introduced kinks early on, discovered my SO enjoyed chastity and looked forward to becoming a real born again virgin. But that's not how things panned out. We argued and argued. Struggled. Argued more. Our FLR was on one week and off the next. About six months ago, during an FLR-on period, things came to a head. I was brutally whipped for some misdemeanour and had to use my safeword just seconds in to our disciplinary session. Later, I asked my mistress for a forthright dicussion. My mistress admitted to me that she found it difficult to respect a man who identifiies as submissive and also thought that slaves must be treated cruelly above all. We talked. I spoke about how domination can be loving and that being her slave doesn't exclude me from being her protector - her rock. And we carried on as boyfriend & girlfriend, but without intimacy. Just last week I was asked to sit down and discuss our relationship, which was obviously in trouble. It was explained to me that our relationship could only work if I agree to maintain a subservient role from now on and I have been given three rules to live by: 1) I must keep the house tidy & clean 2) I must respect mistress's personal space and time 3) I must work harder to increase our financial wellbeing (I'm recently self-emplyed & my finances are sketchy) I agreed to these terms - and to going back in chastiy (Chinese full belt. Complete head F*ck.) Sometimes I think things are too vanilla for me: I'm not forced to wear butt plugs, or sissified, or chained. And moments of initimacy are rare. And yet, I feel this is what I've lived for - reduced to houseboy, servant, companion. Giving myself. Nothing is working out the way I planned. But who am I to plan?
As my compatriot Robert Burns said, "The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley". Or, to translate, the plans of subs and Dommes don't always work out as expected... Good luck to you both