The right place for this

confession ... I made my first posting before thoroughly checking out the site. I am happy with what I posted, but not where I posted it. I used the foyer, but as I want to use this as a journal of my thoughts and feelings the vault is more appropriate. So, it's start again time. The first few entries are those already in the wrong place, new ones will be here.

 

First thoughts ...

Don't feel obliged to plough through all this, especially if you have a low boredom threshold! It is a big thing to me/us, but we are treading a path that you have walked already.
Over the years we have had a varied sex life, and, except for pain, tried all sorts of good things with all sorts of great people, none of which are really relevant to here. We are now in a new phase, and my husband is about to be chaste whenever and wherever I choose.
Why did I go for chastity? A couple of months ago I underwent surgery, and the radio therapy is now over. I feel great! I feel alive again! I want the new me to do new things and have fresh experiences. That is why I decided chastity will take centre stage in our lives.
The how was a bit more complex. Part one was easy. I simply did a bit of internet browsing and bought a CB6000S. The challenging aspect was introducing my new toy to my husband. In the event I gift wrapped it with a card saying “to us”. Ian opened it, and was, to say the least, surprised!
We had a long discussion over a bottle of wine. My first question was … will you do this for me? Ian, bless him, said yes. My follow up was … will you do it now? The answer again was yes, so after some considerable time sorting out the correct ring and spacer, on it went, and, this is 3 days later, on it remains.
We spent the rest of the evening trying to sort out our personal ground rules. They aren't set in stone, as time goes on they will probably have to change a bit, and I welcome any advice from the experienced among you. We are an equal partnership, I don't want him to be less masculine. Our initial internal rules, mutually agreed, are …
We will do this for at least a year to give it a fair trial.
I will not aim for a world record lock in, but he will be locked, on average, for at least 50% of the time. If locked, the cage stays on whatever the circumstances, irrespective of time, place, clothes or company.
I have full control of the key and can lend it when and to whom I choose. My sexual freedom is unchanged, Ian's is limited by my decision. The second key is in my bank deposit box.
Whenever he is locked I will wear the key and it will always be visible. I won't start a conversation about it, but if asked I will be fully honest and open about what it is and why I am wearing it. (This one is on Ian's insistence).
If anyone will not accept our choices that will be their problem, not ours, also Ian's idea.
Ian can read this site, but not contribute, this is my space.
As I said, advice and suggestions are welcome. Wish us both luck on our journey
Jane
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Reply to a question about how I found out about chastity..

Thanks. I learned the normal way, good old web search. After my op I wanted something new to rekindle the spark. Off to the www ... swinging, do it. Group sex, do that too. Exhibitionism, love it. So it went on till I found chastity and thought not done that, sounds fun and it doesn't mean giving anything up. What I want is to add another element to our sexual satisfaction

So far it's working

 

After getting advice on what to use (I bought him a 6000s) ...

It does look like my choice wasn't so bad!

Today's discovery ... we went out, and though it isn't noticeable with trousers it is wonderfully obvious with leggings. I did my tease bit by being very underdressed, which helped too. He loves wearing it, I may have a bit of a fight to get it off!

 

So that's the potted history. As it's pouring down today what has happened since the last posting? It isn't fit to let a dog out, so this morning I sent him out to walk the dog! They both came back looking like drowned rats.

It's been 5 days now, so I've released him to have a good shower. OK a sponge and loads of shower gel do a reasonable job, but it was time for a deep clean. I told him to have a shave, we put the cage on so fast it was a bit too overgrown down there. Mine is as bad, so it will be part of my pampering today.

I haven't re locked him today, but he must not touch his cock. I will decide what to do later.

 

We are a partnership of equals. He has wants too, and I am happy to indulge those. Chastity works for us, as do other activities.

 

Well, it's getting on for a week now, and I was looking through my posts when I realised I have forgotten a very important thing – saying “thank you”. I have been very self centred, because it's all so new and exciting, but it's rather rude. It's silly to write an Oscars style item, thanking everyone individually, from my Director to the midwife who delivered me, but so many of you have given tips, suggestions and advice, all of which I really appreciate. Thank you all.

However, one couple particularly deserve a huge hug and thanks for going above and beyond. Lockedup66, you are stars! Liza, you have given me invaluable insights about what my husband is probably feeling about things, the best ways forward and all with a great sense of humour and forbearance. Mrs L, you have given me resolve, self confidence and via cyber, the best orgasm I've had in years! I really do thank you both for spending so much time on and with me.

So, onwards and upwards (except when locked of course) with my new key holding role. Some of you may read the blog and think I've got things wrong. Feel free to say so, I do understand we all have different approaches, and although I may not actually try every suggestion, I would much rather be given ideas to choose from.

Love
Jane
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Thank you mash. It actually was the difficult time that caused me to find, well maybe chastity or maybe restraint. In all probability both! You have spotted that there is no need to throw out the baby with the bath water, and my other sexual turn ons are very much still there. Jx

 

Quack quack!

 

Long may it continue Mrs, in a past life I was a teacher, now I love being the student
J
Xx

 

Well, get the thread started! We actually share the domestic stuff, Ian is a rubbish cook, I am hopeless at sorting out the swimming pool. We both try to please the other, and, I hope, both get what we desire

 

Mash made a good point, if you start with something new you don't have to give up the old.

I put that into practice this evening. Ian was not locked up, so I followed Mash’s advice to do both at once. I managed to get to the old marriage saying. Something old … my handbag, which contained his cage, which I still think of as something new. Something borrowed, which was Ian in a pair of my leggings and something blue, a denim skirt. All that was aimed at not giving up one of my longstanding pervs, which is exhibitionism, but linking it to restraint. I put Ian into the leggings and a tee shirt. I put me into the skirt. It has a side split, which works really well as a front split, and a sheer blouse.

We got to the bar, and I found a nice corner table. Nobody was taking much notice of Ian, a few spotted me. Once we had drinks I had a great time surreptitiously stroking him. It was probably due to the lock up, but boy, did he come. The wet patch was more impressive than usual. As soon as he had subsided I sent him to the gents to lock himself up again, and then took him for a hand holding paseo through the streets.

I felt so in charge, I felt empowered. I had a trophy on my arm who was getting some of the attention, and he is mine to control.

 

It took another g&t while I waited, and here they are big ones

 

There is one problem with a blog, content!

In a week when not much happens there isn't much to write. Thinking back over the last week there has been a beach trip, which was rather fun, I managed all three S's.

I locked him up for the first part of the week, and allowed closely supervised freedom for the last couple of days. The fun in teasing is coming to the fore, well, I have been cumming anyway. This aspect certainly needs exploring a lot more.

j x

 

No, it would be sun sea sex

 

Good grief, I've just realised that I haven't updated this for weeks! Life got in the way, these things happen.

I muddle along, and have been rigorous in ensuring Ian has his cage on more often than not, irrespective of what we are doing or who we are with. It's making summer more fun than before. It's been sunny and in the mid to high 30's centigrade for the last couple of months, so we are both permanently naked at home and the beach, and as near as we can get to it when we are out and about.

It's probably the wrong word, but we are now "outed" with quite a few of our friends, most of whom don't seem to have any issue with it. Some think we are loopy, maybe they have a point!

 

It’s been about six months since I bought a cage and asked Ian to wear it. Since then it’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride for both of us. It’s been an interesting learning curve. I’ve been mulling over how the experience has been so far and decided …

There isn’t one right way to do it. I have read many threads and commented on some. We have worked out what suits us. The hardcore purists will be horrified, but random lockups and releases, of hours or days rather than months or years, work for us. I like most variants of sex, I do enjoy penetrative sex, and don’t want to only have that with other men. Yes, teasing and edging Ian is fun, but I love to take full advantage of his orgasms.

It has been really important that we approached this proactively. That meant give and take from both of us. When I asked Ian to be caged I asked him what he wanted. As my part of the deal we are both now far more exhibitionist and touchy-feely. More generally, we are far more experimental. We have revisited old favourites and tried all sorts of new ideas.

From the outset we have been very open about this. I have worn the key visibly from day one. All our friends know what it represents. I have given the spare to my girlfriend, who said she had been given jewellery before, but never anything like that! That gift has been repaid in the most wonderful way.

So, has it been worth it? Do I continue with it? A big fat YES to both.

Jane
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