The real feeling of Chastity

Yesterday afternoon, my wife called me and told me she wanted to have dinner. Sure, who am I to say no. So I show up, ready to serve, but her demeanor is completely different. She gives me a hug, little kiss, and then tells me she's missed me. It takes me a few minutes to realize what is going on, but I finally get that we are "off" for tonight; an actual normal couple.

It was nice. We spent most of the evening reminiscing about our relationship. We ate, drank, and had a really great time. The at home world was completely taboo, and I got a hush when I tried to bring it up.

So, I just went with it, and really enjoyed my wife's company for the evening. She really looked lovely, and I remember how much I enjoyed being with her in a normal setting. After dinner, we moved to the bar area and both of us started to get lit. We were really having a great time!

Then, she took my hand, and in all seriousness, said she needed to tell me something I wouldn't like. You know, drinking and joking, it takes a second to switch gears, so I made a funny serious face and she told me no..really, prepare myself. Looking at her expression, I sobered up, and met her eyes.

She took a deep breath and very bluntly said "I've found someone else." My heart jumped a beat, and my mouth dropped. WTF:? I'm thinking. I'm searching her face and she is serious. Then it hits me, California!; at her Dads house.

She continues "This person makes her feel alive like she'd never felt before. He satisfies me in every way, anticipates my every need. He is just amazing."

I can't imagine how I looked, but I actually felt waves of anger and sorrow and fear all at the same time. I actually started to shake.

Then I saw the smile forming in the corner of her mouth and in an instant, understood it was me she was talking about.

She went on. 'Yes..Its sad, but true, I think I have found someone who can actually more amazing that you." She paused and fully smiled. "And tomorrow I plan to make him mine".

It is crazy how one goes through wide ranges of emotions in seconds; She actaully had me going. I played along; "Oh..thats horrible, What will I do without you"

"You'll survive I'm sure" she continued, "But I thought it was best if I saw you one last time before I say goodbye".

"Well; I appreciate the honestly" I said sadly "I'll miss you so much". "You too" she said.

That pretty much ended our night there. Before she got in the car, we had an amazing kiss (goodbye no doubt). Thinking back at that now, I think that is a moment I will remember for a very very long time.

Anyway, today is the day.. After work, I'm going to the store to get some wine, a little food, then I'll clean up, set up for when Ms. Suz arrives around 7:30-8;00. Then I do the declaration, serve them wine, and embrace my new official role.

If all goes as promised, I'll be put on a weekly orgasm schedule, and won't have to wait weeks and weeks as I've been doing. It really drives me really crazy, as before this year, I usually O'd ever day.

I'll update later

 

I want to give a full update, but I've only got 5 mins. She's been keeping me busy all weekend.

I now know how to sit, stand, kneel, laydown, present, and several other positions.

My ass has been a whipping target, which I'm getting to actually love though it hurts.

More later..

M

 

Sorry for being away so long..its been 3 weeks since I moved from being locked up under contract to being owned. I must say, I really enjoy this more. First and foremost, I am getting a ton more attention than before being just locked up. Each moment of the day seems filled with activity and attention from my wife. The pattern I've fallen into reminds me of what it feels like to be 'institutionalized', if that makes any sense. My wife has me on a strict routine, day after day. Even the weekends appear to me as structured, with really no time left to my own devices.

The declaration three Friday's ago seems like ages ago. I wanted to write about it but like I said, I've been worked and worked. I want to get it down though, as it was quite an erotic experience. My wife and Ms. Suz where home when I got home, along with another woman I'd not met, but obviously versed in domination. She was in her late 30s and was tasked with doing the video of me; which at first I felt nervous about; but as the event went on, I actually became hot being the center of attention.

Basically, I stood against a wall, and stated my chastity slavery declaration. The woman (I still don't know her name) ran the show, having me repeat it several times as if she was directing. I remember feeling the erection strain against the device, then having her point the camera there. Then she refocused on me and bluntly said "loose the erection". Talk about wild.

Lastly, she had me do it several times with my mask off. I looking at my wife, who ignored my look, silently signaling me to just go with it. I finally finished on my knee, stating my dedication to my wife looking into her eyes like a proposal. It was that effort that really really hit home for me, as I felt a complete promise exchanged between us; and with that, she packed up her camera gear, and just left.

After that was done, Ms. Suz gave my wife a hug, congratulated her and handed her a gift that turned out to be a book about domination and slave ownership., something my wife is becoming quite adept at doing.

What happened next has been happening for 3 weeks now, routine. I'll run through my day to get it down, but although extremely exciting, as I'm about to write it down I think it might come across as mundane.

First things first, as soon as I come home, and I've greeted her, she barks positional orders to me and watches as I jump into position. She has a few, and has added more as each day or two goes by. The first one I learned was to bend over and put my ass out for correction. She really has taken to having me go through these regularly and she has me do them for about 30-40 mins while she either focuses on me, or does something else. I think its a way for her to keep me occupied while she's thinking up stuff to do next though I when she walks into a room, she may just bark "All Fours", and I dive into the position. It is starting to become second nature to me, but I cant count the times I've been corrected. Examples include.

Sit: sit on the floor, legs crossed, hands on my knees, head up
Kneel: Sit on my knees, my ass on my calves, hands holding my ankles
Stand: hands behind my back with my legs shoulder apart, chest out
LayDown: Lay on my belly, hands over my head, feet slightly spread
All Fours: Hands and Knees, Hands under shoulders, feet parallel and streched out.
Ass Out; All fours, but I bend my arms, kiss the floor and stick my ass out.
Bend Over: Ah..my favorite; I'm about to be corrected. Hands on either a table, or on my knees, ass out, chest at a 45 or lower angle.

Next, she has me write a dedication in my notebook for 30-40 mins. She can tell me what dedications she wants or, as in more reciently, asked me to come up with them. Basically they are a sentence that I write over and over, sometimes a few hundred times, filling up pages. Examples are "I will obey my Princess in all ways"; "I enjoy being a chastity slave"; "Being on my knees is a good thing"; and today, I had to come up with 5 reasons why I shouldn't look at her body. I thought about that one all day and actually came up with 8; though I didn't tell her.

After she reviews my work (again, correction if not up to her standard) its time to make her dinner. The first day as her slave, she told me that I could cook for both of us, but as I insisted on being a slave, I had to eat after her. So, make her food, and am a sex waiter for her. She has fun with it, having me get things, shake salt, etc. Its really cool, plus I'm getting pretty good at cooking. (I'm starting to learn French cooking now).

After she eats, I get a break, and she gets ready for the night of play. And play has been consistent. I have not given her any reason to deny me a tease. She still uses handcuffs to secure me before she takes the device off, and then goes about teasing me for about 30 mins. It really drives me crazy. She usually leaves my hands locked up either against the wall, bed, or behind my back as she showers, and then gets ready for bed, letting me take care of her for the night before she puts me away for the night, handing the key to the mask, and turning the lights out.

With regard to the Mask; Its getting very tiring to wear it around the house. Its hot out now, and I am fighting pimples, so I have to spend a good deal of time washing my face, and keeping the leather mask clean. I've asked her if I could forgo the mask, but that only got me corrected with a wack and a 'You are required to wear it".

As for her demeanor, she has been extremely loving to me, and not treating her new property poorly at all. In fact, like I said before, she is really having fun with this, and so am I. I never thought being 'owned' would be soo cool. I guess this time I'm getting what I wished for at all is good!

 

Another quick update. Routine is a good thing. My wife and I are really enjoying the play. She seems to have settled down into her role, and me into mine.
I've continue to be blessed with weekly orgasms, and teases each night, though the hardest part of the day is when she 'puts me away'.
I'm getting used to the mask; and on Saturday, we are heading back into the east village to get some new ones. That should be a fun trip, and will actually be the first time my wife has seen me without the mask on in weeks.

Todays dedication was "I enjoy cooking dinner for my princess, and will do so every day". 370 times.

:-M

 

Another quick update from work. Everything is really going well. I'm very happy with the way things are worked with me and my wife.
I think the thing that really is the key is the level of play that is occuring. If I had to do all this stuff without the sexual play, I'd start questing my dedication to my 'at home' job.
There is something so compelling to me about the change in our relationship that it drives me crazy / nuts. its very hard to describe, but everytime I think of my homelife at work, I get excited, and want to get home; which is completely new to me.

At first, I thought the excitement came from her treating me with such ultimate authority, however now that I've been here for almost a month, I think its more about my feeling owned. Its a very secure feeling. I really really want to please her and jump on her word, not for fear of punishment, but more from a feeling of pride, and being good at my role.

I told her about this during the tease last night as she was putting the rules down for tomorrows outting (we are going back into the city to get some new toys in the village). She just smiled, and continued playing with me ;-) This is honestly more attention to me and my sex than I've ever had; and I love it.

On the other hand, there are times when I do feel under appreciated, or taken for granted. I think this is mainly after I cook for her, and she eats without comment. But during our tease, I'm bring this up, so it doesn't fester. Her response to this was "Do I thank a microwave when it heats my coffee?" and its this response that lights my fire! Am I crazy? I love this....

Tomorrow is the first time I'll be outside the house as her chastity slave, and without a mask. My rules are as before, don't talk to her, don't look at her in the eye, follow behind, pay for everything; basically, I'm her servant/slave, and have no rights. This will be a very fun interesting day.

I'mstill fine tuning my dedication for today, but I think it will be "I am an obediant piece of property" :lol:

M

 

I’ve been spending a chunk of time in my mind thinking about the decision I made to move into a much more submissive, slave like role. This is where my mind wanders when I’m given a mindless task to do around the house, or even told to sit in the proverbial corner and wait to be called upon. WhereI keep coming back to is the excitement and sexual energy vs. just being ‘inchastity’.

When I was just under lock and key, I had the constant reminder of the device, and the ever present sexual frustration, but I would look at my wife and my predicament was the furthest thing from her mind. I often wondered if she even recalled that I had the chastity device on when I was out of the room, doing my thing. Yes, when I was in the same room with her I was present, but if I wasn’t around her, I felt that my sacrifice was out of her mind even it there was a constant reminder to me. I felt like I was in this 24/7 while she participated in the play only a few hours a week. These feelings really rang true for me when she was in San Fran with her father for that month. A very, very frustrating time for me.

On the flip side, with the slave role, and that is really what this is turning into, she is completely involved with my sacrifice in everyway, and I no longer feel isolated or ignored. It’s like everything I do has a sexual context and energy, even if she is not in the room. Each and every action I perform under her direction and rules are subject to reward or punishment, and she has me constantly under her direction. Even if its sitting at her feet to watch TV, I have to sit a certain way, and if I need to adjust, I have to ask for permission (I learned this the hard way, receiving two strokes for just thinking I could stretch my legs!).

Doing her laundry is a simple example in the differences.. While I was under the contract, I did the task as directed, Washer, dryer, iron, fold, put away and report back for more when I’m done. It was a simple assigned chore that she made clear I was to do. But there was no dynamic or emotion to the effort. In fact, after doing it for a while, I questioned why I was doing it, why I wanted to be locked up, and resentment grew.

Now under my new role, when she has me do the laundry, it’s a wholly different experience. She’strained me on a specific routine that she wants me to follow including standing there in front of the washer or dryer waiting for the cycle to end. She’s even told me how she wants me to stand while waiting. If she walks by the laundry room and I’m not doing something properly, she’ll immediately correct me with her cane. And if I am standing properly, she’ll might commend me; once she even gave me a blowjob while the dryer tumbled. That’s the excitement!! I actually listen for her footsteps as I stand there, thinking about my potential reward. And she does invariably come by.

As I iron her clothing, my thoughts are all about doing the best job I can so that I can impress her and gain my tease! Often I get sexually excited, and strain against the chastity device while folding. It is a sexual event. I’m thinking about how afterwards she’ll inspect my work, looking for wrinkles, or shirts that are not hung correctly; undies not folded as she wants them. And when done correctly I get rewarded. It might be simple pat on the head or even a quick tease. Then of course, if its done incorrectly, I’m immediately punished by her hand right there, and not some arbitrary “2 more days’. Either way she is involved in the experience, and I have expectations to meet.

And that is the fun part. The not so fun part is when she demeans me in front of others, as she did this weekend. In our trip to NYC, we landed in a niceleather/bdsm boutique for new masks for me. Without going into too much details, she embarrassed the hell out of me in front of the sales girl; a short twenty something redhead with an obvious hate for men. The girl went around her store and talked through all the products,while had to follow my wife on my hands/knees. The good news is that when the girl urged my wife get a strap on dildo to “fuck a man the way they are supposed to be fucked”, my wife declined! (that’s how bad it was).

What we did come home with were several new non locking non-leather masks and a heavy duty leather mask (without attachments). We also picked up some high quality leather wristand thigh restraints, and a very large ball gag on a head harness. That thing is mean! My wife did break down and get a riding cropat the girls suggestion (to wack my penis), though I’ve not going to give her areason to use it on me.

Anyway, weeks a-foot. Time to go home now..




M

 

Working late today. My wife is actually getting her hair done..something she's not really done in a while due to money constraints.

Its amazing though how little money I've been spending now that I'm her servant during my off hours. I've actually not made any internet purchase, or spent any money on my normal hobbies in quite some time. Its so nice to see the bank account growing beyond the norm. So nice that I suggested she start treating herself to some pamper items.

I've been in the spandex? masks for a few days now. It is so much nicer than the leather for longer term wear, and I don't feel I have to scrub my face for hours. Cleaning it is also obviously easier.

Otherwise, she's treating me well, if you know what I mean.;-}

M.

 

Another weekend down. This was a fun one.

Got home on Friday, Ms. Suz was there, and we went through the same ole thing. I think its now common place for me to stand naked in front of her. I dont' get excited anymore, its just the way it is. After she left, we did the SSDD.

But yesterday was interesting. Without explination beyond "I own you now, I get to decide what you wear", She had me go through all my clothing, one piece at a time, and either keep, store or toss. She was downstairs, and I had to grab something, bring it down, and await her decision. Once decided, I had to put the clothing article (belts, ties, shoe's, everything) int he appropriate box.

At one point, she wanted me to toss a Tshirt that I loved. I looked at her and tried to switch into a power role, but she had none of it. In fact, I ended up getting corrected right there. I should have known better. In the end, almost all my old clothes went into the clothing bin. She only let me keep a few winter pieces that she liked. I had a few shorts, shirts, and a pair of jeans.

Normally, I'd have freaked to let my wife have so much authority over what I wear, but I didn't have time to absorb it, As soon as I was done, my clothes (some from years ago) went intot he clothing bin, (she took pictures with her new camera (thats another story) so we can declair on taxes). Then we hit the mall where I spent the better part of the weekend modeling clothing for her.

So now I have a new wardrobe. Work and Casual clothing! All her choices, AND what I wear is now her choice. She's already laid out tomorrows clothing. She told me that she wants my clothing to be a reminder of who owns me.

I'm loosing choices, but gaining a stylist. Next, she'll be cutting my freeking hair.

LOL.

M

Oh..I'm probably so giddy cause I just had an amazing O ;-)))

 

Thanks Selsa4ra and Strict Sir. I appreciate comments, and insights. It sometimes feels like I'm alone in this, and don't really have anyone to bounce my feelings or thoughts against; besides my wife, but with her, that is difficult, because often its about her..:unsure:

I'm not thinking far enough in the future to worry about if the intensity will wear off as long as we continue to have fun. My wife has taken this far beyond where I thought we'd go, and has done her research, plus she seems to be in almost constant contact with Ms. Suzi as I found out earlier this month. (In paying cellphone bills, I was suprised to see (thought I shouldn't have been) that she is talking to Ms. Sizy almost daily!!?!?!). Course, I can't approach her on this, but its clear that she is using Ms. Suzy as a sounding board.

So she has Ms. Suz, and I have this board to write on.

I didn't think about the clothing theme. But I can see it now; There is definitely a method to her madness in her approach to having me do things her way. Its focused, organized, and direct. I think she's in heaven!

As for "down time". I'm free once she sleeps, and sometimes stay up too late in my man cave; watching Tivo, or computers. The first 3 weeks she had me going non stop, but now she's hitting the sack around 10 or 11 most nights after I get her off, freeing me up.

When she is awake though, its all slave, all the time. Even in the AM. After cooking her breakfast, she permits me to get ready for work, and I'm off. Only once did I try to break into a husband role to talk about something... She simply said Kneel. I got on my knees without thought, and then she put the the large red ball gag she brought from San Fran on, locking it on with one of those master locks and made me wear it all night. As the evening wore on, she had me lay my head in her lap while she watched TV and I suffered! I've never had my mouth so wide in all my life; it was really painful. About 1 hour in, as she just petted my head, I started moaning. She silently got the key, unlocked the lock, and instead of releasing me as I had assumed, pulled the gag even tighter; like two belt loops tighter. Then she locked the gag again and went back to stroking my hair. She didn't say a word about it; this was just the way it was going to be. So no. I don't relate to my wife as a friend or partner. Its slave every minute of the week.

M

 

Hi Strict Sir; No...at night, when she goes to bed, I'm free until 7am. I can stay up all night, or whatever, as long as I'm ready to go at 7.

Sesla; I understand what you mean about giving up the equality component of our relationship. But, I think at this stage, I'm very content with the way things are. I like the structure, giving up control to her is safe. I feel good about focusing my attention on her, and being in a completely submissive role. I don't think it could work if she had not taken to it as she has. But she comes from a well off family that had servants; cooks, maids, childcare, etc..I think she also feels comfortable being in this authoritarian role. She sure does it well, and she enjoys having her "property' to play with ;-)

Having her tell me what I need to wear to work, and when we go out, is actually very cool. It's amazing that the choices I used to take for granted are no longer mine to make. And it was an indescribable feeling to be in outfits that are not mine, but on loan from her, and worn under her direction. It's amazing the excitement I have whenever I notice the clothes; very hard to describe but its freeing, and secure; safe, and always brings my mind to her. I told her all this during my tease on Wednesday. She was happy I felt that way, and told me it was her intent that I continue to wrap my mind around being her prized possession.

Anyway, nothing exciting happened this weekend, except for cleaning junk out of the basement. We had a ton of stuff down that just seemed to pile up over time. So now there is actually room to move around, and the trash guy has some really old computers, TV's and a bed frame to take away. Hard work, but worth it to see the floor again!.

M

 

The week has been going great. My wife instructed me to begin cooking healthy food, as she wants us both to get in better shape. She is pretty well fit, and so am I, but to be honest, these past few months I've not been to the gym at all, and I'm starting to loose muscle mass. I think I'm also converting from fitness to fatty; so she's given me a workout schedule she pulled from the web, and instructed me to follow it to the T everyday.

She on the other hand has really been looking fine. Well put together; if you know what I mean..not like she's just hanging out at home, but she looks like she's spent a good deal of time on herself. She does work out frequently, but I'm noticing that she's spending more time on herself in front of the mirror and wearing really nice outfits. I know she went out this week and picked up a few new items, then modeled them for me. She is also getting her hair done this weekend for Ms. Suz get together on Saturday (Ms. Suz hosts a party the first Sat of every month). Anyway, sorry for the ramble, but she just looks amazing this week; not that she didn't before; but wow. I have a high class owner!!!

And she's been taking the ownership up a notch, consistently reminding me that I'm hers. My dedications all week have been like "I have given up my rights, and am now property" or "I am no longer free, I am owned". To emphasis this, she continues to remind me in the PM when I get home to put her clothes away nicely. As I said before, it's comforting to feel this way. There are frustrations though as I might be doing something, and she'll just walk up and demand that I kneel or lay down on the floor at her feet. Its second nature now though, as I treat it as a 'how fast can you react' and snap down immediately. She just stands there for a few heartbeats before she tells me to stand, and carry on.

My nightly teases continue to be incredible. She has become an amazing expert at bringing me to the edge of orgasm without any hard work on her own. Before it was the violent beating of the stick (if you know what I mean), but now, after I'm secured with leather mitts tied to my thigh, slight touches are the name of the game. And I don't know how she knows when to stop, but she does just as I'm about to cum; I don't say a word, hoping she'll keep going, but she just stops, then little dribbles of sperm to appear, but no orgasm. It is extremely frustrating!!

What drives me absolutely crazy is when, like tonight, she goes through all the motions of securing, blindfolding and unlocking me, then just sits right in-front of me and gets herself off using a vibrator. taunting me, calling me her 'fucking slave', or begging me to piss her off so she can "turn my dick red with my riding crop" (which, I must say, is new to her, as she's never hit me there! ...Then after a powerful orgasm, she puts the Lori back on, and with the final twist, teases me that it will be a long time before I get to pleasure myself like she just did.

Horney is not a feeling anymore, it seems to be a way of life..but knowing I've got a release coming on Sunday really just makes it all worthwhile. She's turned into quite the slave owner! Let me tell you!!

 

Happy 4th everyone. Hope your all having as much fun as I am. Weekend for me was grand, played a lot, and had tons of fon. Wife is in the good mood, and so am I for now.

Her Saturday night party went well, and when I picked her up at like 4am, she got in the car trashed, and told me that I have been invited to next months get together. She warmed me though, "You better keep your place, and don't make me look bad or I'll leave your key there till spring". I'm really looking forward to this, and am actually getting excited about the prospect of being exposed infront of Ms Suz clients ;-)) Very exciting.

On the other hand, and isn't there always another hand. I did get an orgasm last night, but my wife did so with only the lightest touch, giving me what amounted to a ruined orgasm. She then scooped up all my mess, and put it into a plastic container, and into the freezer. She has decided she wants to collect it for her hair rather than have me ingest it. Works for me, cept my thing hanging out there sperting all alone. How freeking frustrating, let me tell you. She laughed when I whined about it.

Other than that, no burgers, beer or buzz for me this year. Only hanging chastity devices in the hot summer, jumping when told, and massages for the princess.

 

I'm pretty sure until Sunday night, my wife had no idea what a ruined O was. I didn't go to far to explain it to her, but sure enough, after I complained about it, she did her research, so I'm positive she knows all about it now.

:-(

 

Strict Sir; seems like you pretty much hit the nail on the head with this one.
Milking has entered her vocabulary. And its been happening nightly since Tuesday. After a little bit of teasing, she works me quckly to the edge, then holds my "head" as I spurt into a cup. I don't think she's gotten the full idea of a ruined orgasm, as these are feeling pretty good!
So, from my perspective, even though I'm left hanging, its still an amazing feeling. And I've had more orgasms in the past 7 days than I've had during the month of June! I do hope they continue.

Meanwhile, today she has me doing house work, laundry, etc. She just went out for a while so I decided to blow off some chores for an hour and get online. I need to get back to it though, as I've got the lawn to do (can't do the front yard naked!).

M

 

Strick Sir; Not exactly what I had in mind. ;

However, these past few days, I'm feeling a little antsy on how she's been treating me. I mean, and I'm sorry if I babble, but I've been fantisizing while she's milking me, that she gets a lot more tough on me. She's been pretty easy these past week, and take today, pretty much let me do what I wanted to. I think she's going soft. And I feel strongly that I want to slave for her; to be under her thumb, but instead its like she's taking it easy.

I doing know; I feel like I want to be fully dominated; I realy like being directed, and this week I've not felt like I've been getting it.

I know its late and I"m tired, but I think tomorrow I'm going to push some and see how she reacts; Yes..easy does it, I'm not out to piss her off, but I feel I want some direction, so more authority over me, something that seems to be lacking.

Either way, hands and knees being milked by my goddess without real relief while she laughs at my discomfort is no doubt what I want to avoid, however I feel like I want to put myself into that position with her..Again, I don't know, and its hard to articulate. and I'm not putting myself there..just somethings not sitting well. More authority ..M ??