step by step getting started

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by esposoEsclavo, Dec 8, 2023.

Random Thread
  1. esposoEsclavo
    Offline

    esposoEsclavo Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2020
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Florida
    Local Time:
    8:45 PM
    I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for a step by step getting started guide to FLR.

    My wife and I have been playing with chastity for a while and some light FLR. We've tried a few times to start, but things tend to fizzle.

    Recently, she has some renewed interested and wants to find a step by step daily guide to help us create permanent habits and try to get a 24/7 permanent dynamic in place.

    She found a book she thought would be good, The Mistress Handbook by Pamela Brighton, but we can't find it available to purchase anywhere.

    Does anyone have suggestions for something like this? What she specifically wants is like a day 1 do this kind of thing. I'm not sure it exists, but something similar that might walk us through laying the foundation would be cool. Even a live coach kind of situation would be cool if it's priced like regular life coach sessions (i.e, not $400/hr).

    Searching online it's hard to wade through the repetitive seo type content.

    I suppose I could try to piece together some information that feels more legit, but it would be better if it comes from a woman's perspective.

    Some things we've tried searching for are workbooks, 30 day guides, etc. Right now we are thinking about subscribing to Ms Elle X and seeing what materials she has available. Yesterday we bought the audio book for The mistress manual : a good girl's guide to female dominance, but that was more of an ok we haven't found what we're looking for yet let's see how this is.

    If anyone here knows of any FLR/Femdom coaching or educational material we can use please make suggestions.

    Appreciate you taking the time reading through this long post! Thanks in advance for any suggestions.
     
    Lostsoul981, Mandrake_74 and tiruh811 like this.
  2. HerChasteHusband
    Offline

    HerChasteHusband Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2023
    Messages:
    61
    Likes Received:
    95
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    7:45 PM
    Marissa Rudder writes some good books IMO. Georgia Ivey Green has some stuff that helped us too. Sarah Fowler, Steps to building an FLR are ok too. You really need to read a few, find what you both want from all the options and slowly work into it. For us, we started with Chastity and my wife learned she liked the control and power. I found a submissive side in me and realized I was much more happy to serve her and worship her in our relationship vs what we had done forever. She wrote down from all we read that she wanted control of. We read it and realized she wanted it all. I made a post recently about items for a contract which was her idea. We realized that a contract wasn’t needed. We just needed to sit and talk through what she wanted and how it would be achieved in my service to her. Her plate is empty now, she is the boss in our relationship and I spend every minute working to please and treat her as my Goddess. We are in a 2 month trial and it’s pretty obvious it will be indefinitely. She is happy and over the moon and I am more in love with her than I ever have been despite not orgasming in 14 days and not having had piv in over a month. Weird to say that.
     
    Queens servant73 and tiruh811 like this.
  3. esposoEsclavo
    Offline

    esposoEsclavo Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2020
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Florida
    Local Time:
    8:45 PM
    That sounds like good advice, thank you. It sounds like a lot of research + communication is going to be item 1.

    I'm happy things are going well for you two.
     
  4. HerChasteHusband
    Offline

    HerChasteHusband Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2023
    Messages:
    61
    Likes Received:
    95
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    7:45 PM
    No book is perfect... Every single one has what you like and don't like. The most important thing is to put her needs first and then figure out how to achieve them. The rest will fall into place. YES! Communication is an absolute must in the beginning and throughout the whole process. My wife doesn't like to hear what I want. Not that she doesn't find it important, but she is uncharge and leads. I write a nightly journal and do include things I would like to be incorporate. I don't know when she does, but from time to time, she reads my entries and surprises me. Seems I mention things she has never thought about, but she see's them as things she has to implement. Thats our way to communicate during. You will find your own way... But definitely work and get it all out. Don't be shy. Be as open as you can.
     
  5. The Queens consort
    Online

    The Queens consort Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2022
    Messages:
    1,261
    Likes Received:
    628
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central Indiana
    Local Time:
    8:45 PM
    And don’t be pushy with her!
     
    esposoEsclavo likes this.
  6. Xileh
    Offline

    Xileh Happily Serving

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2018
    Messages:
    1,363
    Likes Received:
    2,629
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    5:45 PM
    Ms Elle X Is good, Obedient Love is also sound. There is so much variability it what people enjoy, or not, books and podcasts will be a hit and miss.

    The key concept is for you to be committed to serving her. A FLR focuses on her and the things you can do to make her life easier and more satisfying.

    It is not what she can do to satisfy your fantasy cravings.

    If you aren’t onboard with this, you are not being honest with her or yourself.

    If you are committed to her, then do those things. Do them consistently. She is watching and wondering how serious you are. If she sees you sticking with it, she will start getting more interested and start to lead.

    The next thing to consider is meeting every week over coffee or wine (make her a snack), and talk about how the week went. What worked, what needs work. Be honest with each other. Some people like contracts and such, but I think talking will get you to where you want to be.

    In time, you will find that your new roles will start to fall into place. As you go, then start looking for books. You will know what appeals to you.
     
    esposoEsclavo likes this.
  7. esposoEsclavo
    Offline

    esposoEsclavo Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2020
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Florida
    Local Time:
    8:45 PM
    This is a great idea. We are really trying to focus on communication this time. In the past I think that's an area we didn't do well.

    I am committed to serving her. Some of our past attempts I've gotten selfish though and that was a problem. Each time we try something like this we do a little better. This time through we're really hoping to be more methodical and really build a lasting foundation.
     
    Caged4Sazz likes this.
  8. Locked for Goddess Tina
    Offline

    Locked for Goddess Tina Active member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2022
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    63
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida
    Local Time:
    7:45 PM
    The best books I found (and WE have read many) are the FLR series by JM Scott available on Amazon total of 3 The is also a corresponding page on Tumbir I have several of Marisa Rudders books (in my opinion they are crap) PM me if you want more input I have also found good ideas from FETLIFE if you go there you can find my profile and I can direct you further.
     
    sapper814 likes this.
  9. enslavedbyc
    Offline

    enslavedbyc Junior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2010
    Messages:
    560
    Likes Received:
    701
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:45 PM
    She’s interesting. I like her podcast.
     
  10. Open2it
    Offline

    Open2it New member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2021
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Self Employed
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest USA
    Local Time:
    7:45 PM
  11. Steve46
    Offline

    Steve46 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2021
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    32
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Washington state
    Local Time:
    6:45 PM
    I was going to recommend the website "flrjoy.com" but it looks like they recently vanished. Anyone know anything about that?
     
  12. sapper814
    Offline

    sapper814 Texan in Canada

    Joined:
    May 29, 2016
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    85
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Houston, TX
    Local Time:
    7:45 PM
    Totally agree with this
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice