Starting again

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  1. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    A new start, so I decided it is time to start a new thread. The old one is here http://www.chastitymansion.com/forum/showthread.php?t=981&page=11

    My wife and I have started up again. While talking, she mentioned that she liked the service and attention, but I just all of a sudden stopped (when I got the sore and could not wear the device).

    So - I wrote out a contract. The gist is:
    Expires July 2010
    I can not ask to end it before then - if I even suggest we stop it is a 90 day delay of release. If I end it, I agree on my honor to not orgasm until July anyway.
    Asking when my next time is earns me 30 extra days.
    She decides when and NEVER tells me before.
    The periods will always be more then a month, should be more then two or 3 and will have very long periods in the mix(6 months, 9 months?) to keep me from trying to predict. She is free to not allow anything until next July, and I told her that if she did not allow release till then, I would consider it a gift.
    I can not ask, hint, complain or beg.
    Intercourse will be limited to once a year or so since that satisfies me completely and make the sexual tension drop to zero.. Other releases will be self induced or she will use her hands.

    She picks my chores.
    The contract spells out that when my chores are not done cheerfully or on time, or my attitude is poor, she will let me know she has extended the time, and remind me that this was my idea and that she has no choice as I asked her to do this.
    She is doing me a favor by making me wait. The longer the wait, the more grateful I should be.

    I also suggested that I always be blindfolded when she is undressed- she controls when I can see her naked, if ever. I enjoy seeing her naked, and the thought of not being allowed to see her that way is somehow very erotic.
    I have even given up control of that.

    Kind of like jumping off the cliff :)

    On the CD side, I slit a plastic rod, and rolled up pubic hairs above the CD. I have it tied shut for now - I need to get waterproof glue. I used the 3 inch rod to attach to the CD to prevent me from puling down and sliding out. I got the idea from the piercing idea presented by Locked4Love in the Tower section.
    If it lasts a month each time before needing to be redone, this just may solve my problem. No O-ring to pinch and cause sores, and finally no escape. Finally what I wanted.

    Wish me luck! I have taken the plunge. At worst, it is only 11 months ...

    js
     
  2. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    Wow, best of luck to you! Keep us posted :)

    mikecb
     
  3. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    So far so good. We went away this weekend, and I did a lot of hard manual labor while wearing the CD - not many issues - some pulling and such but bearable. This may be a workable solution :)

    My wife said the bulge was pretty noticeable under my jeans, so I have asked her for help in either better strapping or perhaps tighter underwear or jock strap. She said she would which is a major sign to me that she may be in this for real this time.

    js
     
  4. ALLORNOWT
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    ALLORNOWT Senior Member

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    i would say keep it up but well that seems a little cruel.lol i see your one of these people who dont do things in small measures and i hope you havent bitten off more than you can chew(why does everything have some sort of sexual inuendo ?)best of luck:anim_37:
     
  5. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    >why does everything have some sort of sexual inuendo?
    LOL because sex is such a large part of our makeup? I don't know. :)

    They way I see it -
    I am too soft on my self
    She is too soft on me
    Knowing that, she will probably not be harsh.
    If she is, well it is only a year. (11 months actually).

    I have had some discussion with her and we modified the concept a bit - She is to pick out the release dates (if any) in advance. If I ask when it will be, don't do my chores, have a bad attitude, etc. she will skip the next date. She will tell me it is skipped, but not when it was (could have been tomorrow, could have been next July).

    To help her get into my mind, I wrote her this:
    <letter to wife>
    Husband: when do you have to let me have an orgasm?

    Wife: Never again actually. You should be scared. But make me happy, do your chores, follow the rules, and meet your goals and I will let you have one every once in a great while. Maybe :)

    Husband: Why are we doing this?

    Wife: Because you asked me to. You begged me to. You pleaded and asked me to be tough.
    You asked me to:
    Decide when you get an orgasm and never let you know when the next one is to be.
    Make it a long time in between. Sometimes many months so you can never predict.
    Make it dependant on how well you do chores, meet goals and obey rules. If you slack off, I will point it out. If it happens twice, we skip the next planned release. If you ask when, we skip. Complain? Skip.

    Please don’t be so quick to give in this time. Last time you could not last 3 months. :) I could!

    I need to believe that you could be strong enough to keep saying no forever. Until then, it isn't exciting.
    Make the first period long to show your strength. Thanksgiving, our Anniversary. Whatever. Make a schedule and stick to it (except skipping releases when necessary!)
    Your schedule could be 7 months, 1 month, 3 months, 1 month, 1 month, 5 months. Or just 11 months.
    Make up your own schedule, vary the times. I should have NO idea when, and have to behave if it is to be ever.

    Please play some games with my mind occasionally. (It reminds me it is real)

    In bed, ask me if I want tonight to be the night? When I say yes, say ‘oh well. I get to decide, and you begged me to make it a long time, remember?’ Then smile and go to sleep.

    Whenever we have sex, ask me how I am doing with chastity. Remind me that this was my idea, I made you promise to not give in quickly, this is what I wanted and you are doing me a favor. Understand that I will tell you I changed my mind but STICK TO IT. If I complain, tell me the next release is skipped (even if it was 9 months away).
    That type of stuff would make me understand that you are serious.



    Thanks you!!
    Love,
    js
    <end of letter to wife>

    So yes, I am pushing her to be hard. I understand the possible consequences and am willing to accept that. If I remain locked and ignored until next July, it is my own fault and I have to accept that.

    js
     
  6. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    All is quiet right now. We are busy at home with many things, and it is her 'time of the month'. No nighttime wakeup last night (the first such night) though I recognize my increasing lust level.

    She knows she needs to assign chores and rules when she finds the time. The biggest struggle I have is to not press her. This is a delicate matter.

    The CD is not so bad - I find putting a folded tissue between the plastic and my skin helps to avoid irritation from sweat. I change the tissue several times a day.
    It is inescapable though not ideal - I have to find the balance between pulling the CD up with the strap- to low and the hair pulls on the top; too high and it digs into the bottom of my penis and becomes painfull. As the hair grows out it may be able to get lower and more comfortable (and discreet under cloths). I may have set it to tight. I am also thinking that I can attach some type of netting (flesh tone I hope) from the hair to the CD so the CD is not so anchored. That will be my next mod :)

    js
     
  7. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    I shouldn't have mentioned no night time issues - I woke up several times last night with just that :)

    Other then that, nothing much to report. She has migraines and this week is her 'hands off time of the month'.

    I did buy a new toy online, a vibrator, which should be delivered today. She has never tried one, so it will be interesting to see how she reacts next week.

    I am hoping she will assign some chores and such soon. This is becoming celibacy. :) BUT I knew the risk. And I need to be patient.


    js
     
  8. sophia
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    sophia Senior Member

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    JS, i think you will get what you ask for.
    And with the vibrator, why should She release you?
    Good luck!

    sophia
     
  9. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Only infrequently as a present. I am more into being controlled then being released.

    I wish she would be at the point where SHE asked for sex. I hope to rock her socks off :)

    I also plan on giving her a gift for each month that passes that I am locked. As much as possible, it will be an increasing gift, as she find keeping me locked to be a chore.

    js
     
  10. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Nothing much to report. She has really expressed no interest in anything, so it is celibacy for the moment.

    Interesting things I have noticed about myself- Frustration becomes energy when it is play (ie she is engaged in creating or maintaining it). Frustration becomes annoyance, anger, hurt when she is not. I feel ignored and neglected.

    I also noticed a subtle change in my sexual visualization - I saw a shapely young lady doing yard work in tight jeans. Looking at her butt, my typical reaction was always 'I would love to bend her over and stick it in' - yesterday, my thought was I would bend her over and .. uh.. get under her and lick her to an orgasm. The point is that I have begun at least to internalize that I am not going to be sticking 'it' into anything :). I found this interesting.

    Update:
    I was able to sit and talk with her this morning. I explained that assigning me tasks, chores and rules is part of the play - that as I grow more sexually frustrated, it will either fuel energy (if she engages) or resentment (is she ignores me). She understood. She says she is working on the list.
    I also told her I wanted to review the updated contract with her. She is not thrilled, but seems willing at least. Maybe tonight.


    js
     
  11. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Progress! She went out with a friend last night, and before she left she gave me a list of chores to do. I thanked her for the list and made sure I got them done. I had very full CD for most of the time I was working on them, which made carrying boxes interesting :)

    She told me she was going to assign the guest bathroom for me to clean today, and I thanked her and told her I look forward to that. I also told her I was surprised she was letting the master bath get so dirty... yes, egging her on a bit. :)

    She is a reluctant Dom, so I view my role as training and encouraging her for now. When speaking of tasks, rules and chores, I make sure I always mention that it is sexually charged for me - that I actually get aroused when she assigned me stuff to do, and that is starting to sink in.
    I don't want to go to the level of 'beingherknight' but my kink is her being in control and me serving her. I have managed to link serving her to sexual excitement in my mind, so this may be a win-win for both of us.

    The other night when I was out she texted me 'Do you want to stop and pick up coffee and donuts?' . Of course I did. Later I explained that she should have texted 'I would like you to pick up coffee and donuts please' (please optional). Again, how is she to know if I don't not explain. The established Doms may complain that I am topping from the bottom, but unless we communicate at this stage, how is she to understand? She has no Dom to speak to (she is not interested) or take her under her wing.

    I see her coming along and understanding what I desire. Phase two is when I can 'sit back' and serve her to the best of my ability. I suspect she will grow into the role and enjoy it. The contract states that this is till July of next year, and she can unilaterally renew it for another year. I can say no, but that means I am allowed no sexual release for the next term (the whole next year).

    Term and renewal
    • This agreement expires July 1, 2010 unless terminated earlier by the Wife.
    • This agreement can be unilaterally renewed by the wife for an additional year at the end of each term.
    • The Husband agrees that he may not complain about, or ask that this agreement be terminated. If this agreement is terminated due to his actions, he agrees to remain chaste for one full year from the date of termination.
    • If the Husband refuses to renew at the end of a term, he agrees to remain chaste until the end of the next full term.

    js
     
  12. sophia
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    sophia Senior Member

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    JS, i read your posts with a big smile because i still think you will get more than you ask for in the end!

    We started "playing" 3 years ago. Now SHE wants me to be locked every day and i am. When i ask for the key she always replies with a "why?"
    The spare key is gone... I am warned in various ways to behave...
    :sex021:

    Maybe your reluctant wife will be an eager Domme in the not so distant future? Be warned! :anim_35:
     
  13. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Hi Sophia!

    LOL I hope she warms up to it - and I will certainly see how eager she becomes. I know the maxim - Be careful of what you ask for. I see signs already ...

    I also appreciate hearing that you followed a similar path- it is encouraging. Can you tell more?

    Thanks!
    js
     
  14. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Last night was a hit!

    Things are going well. :happy0007: After dinner, she told me to clean up the dishes, don't forget the ones that are on the stove and she went off to do her stuff.

    When it was bedtime, I asked if I could please her and she said yes. Lock the door, put on my blindfold and away we went.

    She liked the new toy!! Remember that this is someone who has never tried any toy. Once she was all warm and wet, I brought it out and started sliding it in and out, the vibration set to the lowest speed while I licked from above. In a few minutes, she told me that I could continue to use it. :jumping0046:This is significant as she NEVER gives direction during sex unless it was 'that's hurting'.
    Sophia, you may be right!:happy0192:

    After she had come, she let me caress her for a bit, and then said "that's enough for you". I lay there naked and blindfolded until she was dressed, then went off to clean up the toy and get dressed myself.

    She is getting more comfortable seeing me in the CD- in the beginning, she would barely look at it. I showed her how I had secured it, and explained the challenge of making it look better (The glue and cord is a bit messy).

    Comfort is not bad, hygiene is good, cheating is simply not possible. I found that a folded tissue between the straps and the body absorbs sweat well, and I change that several times during the day. I also use a anti-perspirant (Certain Dry) that lasts 3 or 4 days, applied with a q-tip. I am using just a little silicon lube in the tube 2x a day. I have to sit to pee, which is annoying when outside the home :) Gosh, what woman have to go through.
    I have not touched my penis except with a q-tip for more then two weeks, and have no expectation that I will any time soon.

    I sensed just a little wavering on her part (keeping me locked for a long duration). I will reinforce today that she can let me go as long as she wants, and that I am LOVING being locked and serving her.

    Things are going very well. :) I just have to remember patience- this is a journey.

    js
     
  15. sophia
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    sophia Senior Member

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    See what you have got yourself into!
    You wanted to know more?

    My wife was not exactly reluctant to begin with. It has been some ups and downs of course as it is in every relation. And sometimes life interfere in various ways.
    But apart from that i would say it has been a development one step at a time. We have reached a new level, or should i say She, and after being confident for some time there has been a new step. Like reaching a new plateau.
    In the beginning She wanted me blindfolded when i served Her.
    Like you i bought a good vibrating, rotating, clitoris stimulating dildo...
    Over the years She has grown in Her role and i really like that.
    It was a bit frustrating this spring when She more or less forgot about my needs completely. I found myself just "helping" Her and She ignored me. It felt like i was just doing a job without any reward.

    In this latest development or plateau, She decided it was best if i was locked every day. The spare key disappeared...
    She liked me being locked already from the beginning, but it was also because She knew i liked it. Now it is because She wants it. This time it seems She likes Her power and She teases me a lot.

    My Wife is now a very different person compared with 3-4 years ago. I had really no idea then!

    Also, She is now the Boss of the household. She is the one who makes the decisions. Not only the sexlife but most everything else has been turned upside down during these years.

    To be honest i think it has been a learning curve for Her to be the leader but even more i have also had difficulties accepting to step back and really let Her rule.

    sophia
     
  16. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Hey js sorry about my extended absence but it was nice to get back on here and see your new thread! That is good and you are a brave soul! I would never make it for 11 months with no release, good grief.

    This part is soooooo true to my thinking. It is exactly the problem we are having right now. Seems right now it does not matter if I am in lock up or out. Being in just lets her not have to think about sex being out makes her want me in. grrr. LOL

    Anyhow congratulations and good luck on your new contract and possible future releases!
     
  17. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Hey - welcome back xcitex2!

    The fun is not knowing when. I hope we find the sweet spot. Knowing me, it is about 3 or 4 times a year. I think :)

    We are moving along step by step. I have pestered her a bit and she finally gave me a list of chores I am responsible for. I explained the difference of chores (every week forever) versus tasks (go do this once) and helped her flush out the chores list. FYI - cleaning the bathrooms are exclusively mine from now on, plus some other tasks she does not want to do. I told her - assign me what you don't like to do. She likes to sit and fold laundry - so she will do that. Cleaning bathrooms not - so it is mine.

    She is also progressing on assigning tasks - giving me a list of things to do each day, and telling me to run errands.
    Each time she does that, I thank her and remind her that I enjoy doing it - that it gives me a sexual thrill to be doing it, so she is rewarding me. She does not understand it, but is willing to accept it. :) Woo Hoo!

    I keep a list of 'things to discuss' that I wait until the time is right to speak to her about. Next up (maybe) is 'rewards other then orgasms' that she can give me, and penalties she can give me. I have to be careful - if I say punish me, she would be turned off. So penalties is better - I earn penalties for don't performing. Step by step, I will lead her to the point where she is pampered :) And I will be getting a thrill out of pampering.
    I am also looking for ways to better serve her daily - little things like bringing her coffee in bed in the AM. As I find them, I will add them to my list.

    Sophia - thank you! We are on a journey and I don't know where this will go. I am lucky she is accepting my kink, and I think we are lucky that my kink is being denied and pampering her.

    js
     
  18. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    No real news. We are busy with lots of life activities, the kids getting ready to go back to school, etc. No night time play.

    I have my chores which I am faithfully doing. I still need to find other ways to show my devotion.

    I have ordered a '1 month' present for her (A DVD she will enjoy). I told her I plan on giving her a present each time she beats her old record by an additional month. I will be at one month no O on Sept 2. That makes remembering it easy. I want to give her something nicely significant on Nov 3 (three months) assuming we get there.

    Next month, I will ask if we can do a monthly (maybe the 15th) reward night, where I get _something_, even if it is just a bit of teasing. Even if the 15th was being told that I could have done better so I get no reward this month. Anything to find a way to engage more.

    I struggle to relax and just let her develop this into what she want this to be. I am making sure I do not complain or make more suggestions. I still need to communicate (and LISTEN!) but I have to let this come from her vision so she is comfortable.

    js
     
  19. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Well the weekend has come and gone. We finally found energy for some bedroom play last night. I blindfolded myself, waited till she got undressed and again pleased her with my mouth and the vibrator.

    Good (?) news is that reality is setting in. For the first time afterwords, I wanted more. More play, touching, etc. And she was done. Very done, go get dressed I am turning on tv done. I mentioned that I was at three weeks now, and would probably start getting a little crazy soon, and she basically said too bad. (which made me so hard it hurt a bit :) ). She told me 'it is her choice when'.

    So she is giving me my fantasy - no easy release, and I think she is going to make it long. Maybe :) She is a softy.

    I told her I needed help - that I needed ideas for record gifts. For each month she sets a new record (length of time I am locked) I am to give her a gift (as she has earned it). I told her that I had a gift for this month, but the gift does not need to be something purchased, it could be going out to dinner, or anything she wants. She did not seem put off by that. And yes, I am finding the ironic twist that I am rewarding her for something I may not want to reward her for an interesting part of the game.

    On Saturday, I suggested that the 15th of the month may be a good 'reward day' - a day for me to look forward to. It could just be a bit of her touching me and telling me I have months to go yet. She agreed to that. I hope to talk to her more about that to refine the idea.

    js
     
  20. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    I am now coming up on 4 weeks. Last night after dinner we were watching tv together and she wanted a snack. I made several suggestions and she picked one. She then said 'make it so'. I told her I was waiting to see if she was going to get up and get it, and she said 'be careful, I will add another month...'.
    "Yes Mamm! Do you want soda with that?" I was amazed at the sexual thrill her threat gave me. :)

    Later that night, I was again allowed the pleasure of pleasuring her, blindfolded of course.

    I am becoming very aware that it may be a very long time until I am allowed release. Which is of course what I asked for.

    js
     
  21. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    One month with no O. I am getting a little edgy. Worse case is ten more.

    Most of what concerns me is a lack of participation on my wife's part. She has not talked about it, used her status, etc. She is content to occasionally accept my sexual services, let me clean the bathrooms, and such.

    I have her 'one month gift' which I will present to her today.

    On the CD side, something happened to the top hair/attachment. Unlike the two side points, which are fine, it started to turn green just below the glue. I am not sure what caused this, but it was not cleaning off, so I clipped the hair. Which of course means I can easily pull out. I showed the wife the issue (she reluctantly looked) and she found some fabric I may be able to use - to attach to the CD on top, and then to somehow glue to my hair above the CD and down the sides a bit. I think it would be easier if I had more hair left :) I am thinking on it and will work something out. All this to avoid a piercing :)

    js
     
  22. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    Woops!

    She allowed me the privileged of providing her service in bed (blindfolded and locked up of course!). I was a little down because she has basically forgotten about me -so requests, no orders, no conversation. I feel neglected.

    Well anyway, it was over a month, I was working at pleasing her with my tongue and she was fondling me. I was getting rather excited, and she stopped, only to resume again, and it happened - an orgasm whilst locked up. I can't say it was a rip roaring 100% satisfying orgasm, but an orgasm it was.
    She realized what had happened, (since I was on top - you get the picture) and she proceeded to tickle me until she had an orgasm (I get extremely ticklish after an orgasm).

    When she was done, she said 'you were bad'. I told her 'you never said I could not cum, and it was you who got me off' - she replied 'you always warned me when you were close'. True enough, but my mouth was busy this time and she had not said I could not .... Ok - I am pushing the rules, but the side point is that she had NOT said I could not cum. She had not said anything - she avoids the topic. So - once the kids go back to school and the houe is empty except us, I plan on starting a conversation. I want her to finally read he 'contract' and to work out the rules between us - she can't (or shouldn't) neglect me- tasks, chores, feedback, conversation, something!

    We are close - she is half on board. We just need to communicate! So ironic, it is woman who usually complain about men not communicating!

    js
     
  23. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Don't underestimate how much hard work is involved in delegating! Especially when you have done those things yourself and can do them (usually) better and faster than having to teach someone else and keep an eye on them for a while... it can be exhausting!

    The interim period will probably be a long one. You both need to take as long as is necessary during this time, after a while, you will both feel more secure in your new roles.

    I expect she will feel let down that a) you came and b) you blamed her.

    No... she didn't say you couldnt, but you should have been on your knees grovelling for forgiveness. If you want her to "act the part" then you need to take the lead... she may well have found it easier to be hard on you if you were begging and pleading, rather than joking and blaming HER for it.

    I hope you don't feel like I'm trying to be super critical, I'm just explaining how I would feel in that scenario. :love0059:
     
  24. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    i have to agree with MW on this one. If you always warned her in the past you should have done it this time. The fact that your mouth was busy is a lame excuse. It would have taken only seconds to tell her and you could have continued what you were doing after you said something. From where i sit you were just being selfish. You wanted to cum and didn't think one iota about the trust you were tearing apart. You say she was half on board. Well you just threw her out of the boat. i only hope it's not more then a couple hours before you throw her a lifejacket. You also say she didn't tell you you couldn't cum. Fact is she didn't say you could. If you really want her to control your orgasm then you don't get to cum unless SHE says so. You can't have it both ways.

    Best advice go back groveling and promise it will never happen again and mean it. You screwed it up it is up to you to fix it.

    As MW said i don't mean to be harsh it is just how i see it from the outside.

    Rachel
     
  25. chastityslavejohn
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    chastityslavejohn Mistress Irianna's pet

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    oh bot, i would have been beaten for cuming without permission like that!
     
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