Sex drive lost

Why do you assume i‘m mucking about?

 

I agree, no point talking to to you. You assume chastity is submission, bye then.

 

Well because you must realise that although you see wearing chastity cages and other S&M behaviour as a game (which is fine), for many other people on here is goes deeper and is about genuine dominance and submission. It’s a bit odd to contrast “real sadists” from “S&M”, as if the latter can only ever be roleplay, a “game with rules”. You also said “you don’t have to be a doormat” - which is obviously true, but then again some of us LIKE that dynamic.
Based on this, I concluded you’re just trying to get a rise out of someone and well done, you had me briefly irritated! Muppet by name, muppet by nature I suppose…

 

No I don’t assume it, but they often go together.

 

You need to expand on that and explain why you should put up with maltreatment. Is it a game or not?

 

Not for me. I don’t think people with a thing for “chastity” are all alike. I have always craved genuine sadistic manipulation by a woman. Obviously there’s a paradox there: if I want it, then from one point of view it’s not “maltreatment”, is it? Except I suppose what it comes down to is that the woman in question recognises this craving as a vulnerability in me that she can exploit for her own gratification.
Personally I have never been able to relate to people who approach S&M as a “game” or a “lifestyle choice”. As far as I’m concerned, I’m not right in the head.
Maybe one way of looking at it is like drug addiction and supply - there are two “consenting” people involved but it’s still not quite kosher by most people’s standards. That’s the best account I can give off the top of my head.

 

In a nutshell I like being toyed with by a woman I desire, who keeps me in a state of frustration because she enjoys the power trip. From what I’ve read in your posts, that’s not your cup of tea. But it’s not something I “put up with”, I eagerly seek it out.

 

I get it.

It's not for me, but I get it.

And you seem to have found someone that is the yin to your yang, so you've got an ideal situation for your particular set of needs and desires.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure at this point what I'd even be happy or unhappy with. Part of that is because my current situation is one that for most of my life I would have considered to be horrible, yet here I am, happy as a pig in mud. I have very little freedom, I get very little sex (compared to my old self), I have a lot more work that I have to do, and I have to work hard at respecting my wife and having the right attitude. Yet I'm now more content than I think I've ever been, and usually more happy as well.

So I do actually get where you're coming from. Sure, no one else can understand how you're happy with the situation. I can't even understand how I'm happy with my situation. And that's ok, because seriously, why not?

And if it changes, it changes. Nothing is permanent, other than death. (I am a Christian, so I don't even believe that death is permanent, but the scientific method has yet to back me up on this.)

How long has this arrangement been going on for you? I'm curious, because a week is a fetish, and a year is a way of life, if you know what I mean. And it seems like you're tilting heavily towards the "way of life".

 

Well I’ve had masochistic desires since I was a boy, sought out BDSM relationships all my life, got into this chastity situation about 2 years ago and this appears to be permanent.
My BDSM encounters were all incompatible with long term, loving partnerships. Managed to have a family life but my orientation got in the way and led me to mess up good things.
Like you I am a Christian. I think my BDSM thing is a moral problem because it’s led me in the past to deceive people, and encourage others to do things that are essentially pretty dodgy. So being properly locked up and no longer seeking out extreme sensations is frankly a relief (as well as an ordeal)!

 

I can say the same about my life, my cage is worn in part because I recognize I need to respect my wife in the sex department, and women in general. Left to my own desires I'm a mess, and a wretch. I get FAR less sex as well.
To address the original question, my sex drive tends to stay steady for months without orgsim. I take my cage off each night, (not sure how else to prevent irritation) perhaps the small amount of self stimulation is the reason why my drive stays steady.

 

After 27 years of marriage, the last 8 being locked 24/7 with a few releases per year my desire for PIV sex has diminished somewhat. It was her ultimate goal. She doesn’t even bring the hidden key when we go on romantic vacations. I spend my time providing oral subservience with toys and fingers which she prefers. My greatest joy is watching her react when I wear my large strap on (her boyfriend) and really go to town. This of course gets my sex drive going again for a few days, then back to the norm. She likes to tease me by masturbating in front of me while I sit in a chair beside the bed and effortlessly try to cum while tugging on my cage. Her eyes are glued on my hand and and cage which sets her off into explosive orgasms. She loves the power she has over me.