Secrets

You can read my bio to get any idea of who I was. This blog is more about who I am and who I am becoming during my journey into what I hope will become forced chastity.

Women, I'm told, have mostly seen me as an alpha male who has kept alive the concept of chivalry. Not the secret submissive I truly am. I never openly displayed my feelings of submissiveness towards women. I would satisfy my submissive needs by being polite and respectful, opening doors and basically doing all the things a true gentleman should be expected to do for "the fairer sex." I also subconsciously sought out women who would tease me sexually and leave me frustrated to go home and masturbate with thoughts of them fucking their boy friends.

I married such a woman over 30 years ago and her name is Karen.

Karen is not into openly submissive or feminine men and never has been.The type of man Karen wants to tease and control is a man who comes across as a protector, provider, and general knight in shining armor. He should not weakly through himself at her feet. He should present something of a challenge to her. He should be someone who she can tease and mold. She does not want see a man grovel on the kitchen floor but he should want to prepare dinner and clean up afterward simply because she is his queen and he loves and desires her. If he chooses to wear panties under his jeans while serving her it should be his secret. A secret she understands, but does not want to openly look upon.

From the beginning, I have been Karen's cuckold. Not that she was slutty and slept around with everyone who wanted into her pants. She was and is very selective and discerning about the men she sleeps with. Karen never cared to be domme, by any definition. She rathered have the ability to wrap a man around her little finger with tease and denial. When we dated, she often had me fuck her thighs while she whispered how an old boyfriend would fill her. She has never been cruel. The reason she stopped allowing me to fuck her at all is because I begged her to deny me her pussy. To know that I cannot have what she occasionally gives to another, to fantasize about her being fucked as I masturbate, to have a loving partner who satisfies my need to simply desire her, is something I treasure. Now, at my request, she has ceased to allow me to touch myself as I think about her and that which she denies me. My hope is that as she becomes accustomed to me being locked, she will eventually "require" it rather than "allow" it.

To date, I have been locked for three weeks. Karen gave me a long teasing hand job, that ended in ejaculation, after my first eleven days locked. Eight days later, she gave me another. During that time she only desired sex once and allowed me to satisfy her with a strap on penis and magic wand vibrator. I begged her to let me go down on her with my tongue, as usual, she would not allow it. I have asked to to refrain from telling me if or when I might be allowed an orgasm. I suspect that, for a while at least, she will give me release every week or two. As I said, Karen is not cruel and her denial will be for pleasure, hers and mine. I know that she can read me well and will know what is best for both of us.

While I am exclusive to Karen in the real world, I shall be respectful and subordinate to the women of Chastity Mansion. To the men, both dom and sub, I hope to be pleasant and friendly. I will re post from time to time as things progress. Meanwhile I welcome suggestions, comments, and criticism.

 

Day two of my blog and day 21 of lock up. I'm really loving being locked. It's so much more enjoyable doing errands and chores. I hope that Karen notices and is pleased with me when she get home later today. I know the earliest she might touch my cock is next weekend and there is no guarantee, but it sure is incentive to do all I can to please her. Shame to think of all the time I wasted masturbating and just being lazy before chastity.

 

I'm a bit confused about accurately counting my days in chastity. I was originally locked up 22 days ago. In that time, I was released very briefly on two occasions for hand Jobs from Karen, once at the airport to go through security and once to change to a different device. Do these very brief removals change my lock up date? I am also interested to know how the counter signatures is see work. I searched both questions and came up empty. I would appreciate any help.

 

@ineverknew As you can see, it worked. Thank you.

 

Karen was sitting on the couch reading a novel last night. It was the way she called me that caused an erection that totally filled my cage. "Come my little cuckold," she said, " sit next to me and rub my feet."
Massaging Karen's feet has become a very sexual experience for me. She has always told me there is some sort of connection between the arches of her feet and her pussy. She often liked me to lick and lightly stroke that area of her feet as part of our fore play. I was hoping, last night, that she would let me move to her pussy and give her an orgasm. But no... she just had me rub and stroke her feet til bedtime. Once in bed I fantasized that she was masturbating in her bed. We sleep in separate bedrooms because of snoring issue.
I miss giving her an orgasm even more than I miss my own orgasms. She has made my giving her an orgasm another form of denial. It will be exquisite torment should she take a former lover to bed and have me watch or listen him please her while I remain locked in my chastity cage.

 

I got to use a new dildo attachment for our vac-u-lock harness last Saturday. It's call a "Pink Jelly Probe." Karen loved it. It's a bit smaller in girth than the phallic type we had been using. She says it feels more like a real cock and she had the most incredible orgasm when we used it in conjunction with a magic wand. My Jail House fit through the hole in my harness which is a few inches under the probe attachment. I feel almost as much a cuckold fucking her with strap on as I do when she gets a real cock from another man.

After she came down to earth she asked for a back rub which I was happy to give, When she had enough she told me to lay on my back and remove the device. I imagine you can guess what happened next. A long slow tease with oiled hands, followed by an ending that was somewhere between a ruined orgasm and complete ecstasy. She did not actually take her hands off me when I began ejaculating, She kept going with the lightest touch imaginable. It was mind blowing and almost painful. She then let me shower before replacing the cage.

I can't begin to tell you how much I lover her for denying me her pussy and how happy I am that I am no longer masturbating. I'm secretly hoping that she does not let me cum next time.

 

Karen removed my cage last night and we gave each other wonderful orgasms. She allowed my to leave the cage off overnight and has given me permission to masturbate today before locking up again. After so much time locked up, my cock is super sensitive in my pants. Every movement causes and me to remain partially erect. I really miss masturbation and today will be the first time since my first lock up on November 10th. As much as I'm eager to masturbate to orgasm, I'm also eager to have my cock locked again.

My orgasms have been somewhat weekly since starting chastity and I think I'm adjusting to it quite well. I have not had one moment of bad behavior, even after orgasm. Karen and I are quite pleased with how chastity has affected our relationship.

I respect the guys who desire to be locked or are forced to be locked for long periods. Personally, I'm of the school, use it or lose it. I think orgasms on a somewhat regular basis make the times in lock up more intensely frustrating. I wonder if the frustration and desire diminishes after a certain amount of time that a cock has had no physical stimulation. I would love to hear how chastity is working for both short and long term wearers.

 

As another weekend approaches, I'm filled with so many emotions. What I want most is that Karen allow me to please her with my strap on. I'm very horny and would love to feel her hands caressing my cock. On the other hand, I have an incredible sense of belonging to her that brings a desire to remain locked. Last week when I was let out, I was not given relief nor was I allowed to touch it until given permission. Having my cock free, I felt it with every movement which caused me to be constantly erect or semi erect. The longer she keeps me unlocked without touching it the more incredibly delicious the tease is.
I have no idea what Karen has planned for this weekend, but what ever it is will be wonderful, if for the only reason that it is her idea.