Questions and learnings after two years of experimentation

Hi there! My first post but i've browsed the site a many times. I’ve been playing on and off for a couple of years more heavily in the last year, mostly solo. My wife recently decided she really enjoys chastity play and we now play exclusively together; giving her the keys always brings a big smile to her face. We are exploring what works for both of us but I would ultimately like to be locked most of the time. I am a masochist but for chastity I prefer not being able to feel my member. One issue I have is that discomfort typically makes me harder so I can get in a nasty feedback loop of my dick trying to tear my balls off… in a bad way.

My longest period of continual locked is 4 days which I’ve done several times. (Have gone longer but unlocked every two days or so) - I’m fortunate my wife loves penetrative sex and chastity play quadruples her sex drive), so I’m relatively novice compared to many here but wanted to share some tips and ask for any feedback or suggestions.


Device:

Ring type: solid

Contoured/ flat - So far I don’t think I have a preference but I only have one contoured ring and it is not paired with a tube i like.

Hinged/ solid - Solid I have not bought a truly high end cage and so I get irritated and eventually pain from the imperfections of the hinge (Even and especially from The Vice.) However the cage styles I like from Terrence are all hinged so I use silk scarfs I bought from Shein to provide padding. (the silicon tube they are including is useless long term and causes chaffing). I say scarfs multiple because I change them out every day like underwear. In a pinch I use a pair of Panties and put the gusset between the hinge and the bottom of my balls.

Wire/thicker metal - I ordered my first “thicker metal” base but don’t know if it makes any difference. I would like my balls to be ‘pulled’ farther away from the base to help prevent erections. I would think that more surface contact would also relieve pressure. Thus far I have avoided this style as it adds more weight.


Anti pullout: Alas still looking

PA/ Friction (vice style)/Spikes/ urethra tube -

Prince Albert: Never been wild about this option but I think I will eventually go for it if the wife isn’t against it. I’ve considered dermal implants but the piercer convinced me they shouldn’t go anywhere near my groin. Has any one tried a frenum piercing as an alternative?

Friction: I Love the security of the Vice, I’m not able to make myself cum even with a vibrator. I’ve tried pulling out and it would give me some real abrasions if I forced it and getting back in would be a serious challenge in not impossible. My attempts during solo play were enough to convince never to try if I didn’t have the keys. I’ve tried Terrence friction ring but they don’t have one that fits the hinged rings.


Spikes: This always seemed like a short term/ fantasy play it seem like IRL these would shred your dick and lead to infection even if you were super into pain.

Catheter : I tried urethra tube when doing solo play for an afternoon but I would think the discomfort would quickly progress to be too painful. I am skeptical it wouldn’t lead to a UTI and not sure putting non-medical sourced something in my urethra is a good idea for an extended period. I test all my cages for lead and have not found any heavy metals in any of the terrance stuff for what its worth.



Material: Steel makes it real
Steel/plastic/titanium - My preference is steel don’t know if I’ll be able to afford titanium. I’m very handy and getting off a plastic cage seems trivial to me. I really like the feel of metal but I do need to make accommodations for weight using a “snugger” of some sort.


Lock: Cylinder

Cylinder or pad lock - Cylinder all the way I own several bolt cutters and the pad lock jingles on metal cages, plus the tube seems much harder to pick given angle tension and key size though I have no intention of trying. (I will say I have some locks that test positive for lead, I didn’t really keep track of where they came from so watch out).

Tube: Open style short (one size up from nub) - Easy clean and erections are manageable.

Length:

Inverted/Flat/Nub/short/full size: I love the look and feel of the nub and its my favorite by far, I want there to be no erection of any kind. My issue is “play-doe-ing” where my glans will push through the gaps and get pinched or even cut by rubbing against my pants, I really like the new nub that terence makes where it has a “flange” to protect against exactly this. I’m just over 6 inches erect and 2.5 soft so i’m doing some stuffing. I do find that for open style nub cages there is just too much playdoeing.


Open/closed: Open is so much better for long term use because cleaning can be way more thorough, like 100% difference. But I really like closed style of the Vice because when I am not hard I get the sensory deprivation experience. I find that even with a nub where my pee hole is lined up sometimes things shift (especially at night) and pee gets into the closed bits.


Sleep: Same as for day use - I built a garden fence for my wife (lots of crouching, lifting etc.) locked the entire time.

Underwear: I really like the “ROMWE Solid Ribbed Boyshorts” from Shein they pass as mens, and provide nice support and breathability. More importantly they are soft, thick and sturdy enough that my jeans don’t pinch or shear anything.

Snugger: I use a Shein scarf that I loop through the bottom of the the ring and then the front my balls and the cage and then loop the ends through the lock gap and tie behind my back I have no trouble sleeping this way and night time erections don’t get out of hand because of the pressure from the snugger. Does anyone have some suggestions for a store bought snugger?

Cleaning: I shower every day and use some hand sanitizer on the the metal bits in between. I haven't come across someone make this suggestion is there a reason not to use hand sanitizer on a regular basis?


I should get back to work now, but I would love any feed back or learnings that others have had and happy to answer questions.