our journey into the world of FLR evolved over several years. It started as a kink from my side and I misguidedly hoped my wife would buy in to this. Clearly the reality was far from the fiction I carried in my head and from the outset was doomed to fail for a host of reasons. My wife listen to what I had to say when I brought up the idea of chastity and been vanilla to a large degree had little to no interest in the idea but agreed to endulge me. An thus our journey started. The kink of wearing a device and being denied for an extended period was not shared by my wife. I was permanently aroused and she was not. Day turned to weeks and weeks into months and whatever I had read about chastity was far from what I experienced. In retrospect I was topping from the bottom which lead to a total breakdown in the continuance of our journey and my wife terminated the experiment. So what went wrong? A lot of things. Primarily I was not prepared for the loving submission which I believe chastity requires. I also did not fully understand that my needs should have been second to those of my wife’s. I did not understand that as a consequence of chasity my personal sexual gratification should not play a role and I allowed the frustrations I experienced boil over and harassed my wife for activity constantly. These in hindsight were a recipe for failure. Two years on our relationship although solid lacked sexual activity. We had sex twice in a period of twelve months and I am sure my wife engaged as an obligation without any meaningful enjoyment. I masterbated frequently to satisfy by base desires with my wife’s consent. I guess she was just happy I was not bothering her. And so it continued. In all other respects we lived a loving relationship it was just devoid of sexual contact. This may be foreign to a lot of folk but after 25 years of marriage I guess you get conditioned. A lot of the spark was lost. That appreciation I showed in the earlier years of our relationship slipped away, that helping hand arround the home dwindled. After the children left home we plateaued. I reached a point or should I say the realization that if I was my wife would I be inclined to enjoy sex with me. I looked at myself and what it was that I was contributing to our relationship. Not much. I was inactive in the home. I was always tired and resorted to self pleasure. For me after satisfy my needs I was less inclined to put myself out. Was my wife putting herself out, no she was not, however I was not in anyway giving her any motivation to alter her view of our sexual relationship. So it was on 12 December 2019 i had a chat with my wife. I knew the idea of chasity would be something that would not interest her, or would it. I suggested to my wife that Sex every six months did not amount to a sexual relationship and nor did my self gratification every few days. I suggested that we needed to relook at how we could mutually restore or restart our sex lives. I’m 60 and she 55. For those that think that persons of this age do not have desires I would remind you that you are mistaken. I offered my wife a proposition that I would cease self pleasure and would not orgasm unless she allowed me to. She laughed saying I would not last a week. Well I did and we revisited my proposal at the of the week. At this point I suggested a chastity device with some element of trepidation. She agreed, I was astounded and she helped me select three devices knowing that we would not get a correct fit off the shelf first time. Well it took six weeks for the device to arrive and during this time I honored my undertaking. I think my wife was intrigued as I was a little more attentive to her. My wife insisted that I only wore the device at home and not out the house. It was her call. I offered and my wife accepted that she would play my game provided I did not pester her with constant talk of chastity and she got to decide when to terminate the experience. I said that I agreed on the condition that I would be allowed to pleasure her weekly. She agreed, again to my disbelief. Well here we are nearly 4 months in to this experiment. So what has changed. I am committed to allow my wife to withhold my orgasm for so long as she deems fit provided I be allowed to pleasure her weekly. I have accepted her needs are before mine and am starting to get used to the idea. I don’t obsess as much as I did in the past about wearing a chasity device and infact no longer feel it. I now wear a nano steel device 24/7 and my wife approves and likes the fact that I am so restricted. There is no play or sexual stimulation for me at all. When I pleasure her she does not touch me in any sexual way and afters she had had her orgasm she hugs me and falls asleep. I love the fact that she is enjoying herself. My wife is doing less and less arround the home and choose’s what she wants to do. The rest I do. Again for the sake of watching her orgasm I will forgo my pleasure. I asked my wife this evening if she would like to end our experiment to which she said we could discuss this towards the end of the year. This is not the kink I once thought chastity was all about but rather a journey. It would seem that my wife is getting in touch with her body. From two sexual interaction last year she had now enjoyed 16 orgasms. In the last week 4. So it would seem she is enjoying herself knowing that I will not ask for sex or an orgasm for myself. The pleasure I derive from pleasuring my wife and watching her climax is intensely stimulating. Am I prepared to forgo my own pleasure in favor of hers, a resounding yes. Will I continue to increase my work load arround the home, yes, for so long as my wife enjoys her pleasure. Will my view change, it may but for now I am coming to terms with my submission and surrender of pleasure to my wife. I would like to believe that my wife is truly experiencing a revival of her own personal sexual pleasure and that I am making a meaningful contribution to her comfort. Is this a kink, no, there is no BDSM or from either side just a growing understanding of how pleasant thus lifestyle could be. Thus our journey into the unknown continues.
Wow . Thank you for sharing your experience. I am glad things are going well for her and you! I hope it all comes more around and that’s great from 2 orgasm in a year for her to 16 in 4 weeks that is huge turn around. I like how you put everything in perspective.
I Greet You all Well Its been two months since my last post. I have been locked up literally 24/7 for 172 day our six month lock up is on the 12 June. To date I am unlocked every 14 days. To date I have had no sex and no orgasms.The dynamic in our relationship has changed dramatically. My wife is incredibly content in her role in our developing FLR. She no longer views our relationship as something I wanted, which was true. She has eased into her role as head of our home slowly yet progressivly more acceptingly. In the early days, and in terms of many of you here, we really are at step one after six months but none the less in our journey I can say "in the early days" I belive she indulged me, I sense however she embraces where this is going and she is doing a lot of the guiding. Let me try explain, I used to ask her if she woudl like coffee in the morning, now its a case of "where is the cofffee". "Why have you not folded my washing", "Whats for supper". The only things she does arround our home is, well very little. She loves baking and prepares cakes for the ladies at the office, I however need to clean up after her. There is no question of her lifting a finger, unless she chooses to. I asked her if we should go back to the way we were before she locked me up. I got a smile and "I dont believe that is possible at this time" Considering that my wife was / is very "vanilla" and as I said before was really not into sex and last year we had sex twice. Her labido is at best low to non existant. I masterbated thrice a week which as you all know lowers a mans activity levels untill they recharge over the ensuing days only to be lowered with another round of masterbation. I found myself self absorbed and I would say selfish and disconcerned with the needs of my wife. I never helped arround teh house let alone washing dishes and cleaning. I think it is for that reason our sex lives melted away. It would be unfair to blame my wife for her disinterest in sex. I belived I was worlds best lover but in retrospect and knowing what I know now, I dont thnink the two or three minutes of penitrative sex with my small 4.5 inch penis did it for my wife, so I can hardly blame her for "not giving a darn" about sex. So what has changed for her, well she is relaxed, loving and caring. We interact and talk to each other. Our home is spotless. The dishes are done, the washing is done and folded, She watches a lot of TV snuggled up with our puppies and enjoys baking. The garage has been cleaned and all the broken appliances have been replaced. The bathroom has been redecorated and so the list goes on. We are closer today than we have ever been. We genuinly embrace each other through the day and the feeling and expression of love is evolving into one of deep careing. Her smile comes more frequently and spontaneously. She is guiding our relationship in a tender and loving way and has assumed her role and is "loving it" dare I say. Her disposition and demeanour is evolving and she has indicated over the last week that my suggestion of an orgasm should rather be set aside since "I am happy the way things are and your orgasm is of no interest to me for now". I get the feeling that she does not want, at this time, to change her status. On the personal side she likes to be woken up with a gentle rub down with baby powder. I am allowed to carress her breasts, (something she would never allow) during her rubdown,, Her nipples are responsive to my touch and rapidly get hard. When I rub her nether regions she opens her legs and allows me access to gently massage her for a few moments. No though of intimacy is indulged, She simplly enjoys the feelings of me carressing her knowing she controls what I do to her. She is still not concerned with sex and frequently reminds me that she is really not interested and is certainly not interested in me making love to her and certainly does not want my penis inside of her, now or in the future. She does however enjoy orgasms. Our trusty vibrator is working overtime. From a weekly orgasm she progressed to three orgasms a week. Twice in the eveing and one morning. This went on for a few weeks. I sensed that the morning play time was been "rushed" and suggested that we do away with this if she felt uncomforatable and in a moment of jest suggested we keep her play time to "say every second evening". It was in jest. She loved the idea and here we are. I am required to service her every second eveing. Over the last month however there have been further changes. My wife is far more relaxed about me using the vibrator on her. Now she has set her requirements she expectes me to prepare our room for play time. Soft lights, insence with the bed prepared and the toys laid out. She now willing lies down naked and waits for me to begin to turn her on and bring her to her climax. Things are changing. At the begining of the year she would orgasm in three or four minutes and that was that. Now she relaxes into the eveing. Her sex session if I am allowed to call it that, now lingers over twenty to fourty minutes. She now has multiple orgasms virtually every time I touch her and the other night she had three orgasms over fourty minutes. She simply loves her orgasm. She has enjoyed 33 orgasms with nine of them being multiple orgasms. This is a far cry from sex twice last year and I dont belive she orgasmed. This is a huge change for her I I sense she is really getting in touch with her body and I believe she looks forward to her playtimes now that the enviroment between us is loving and relaxed. Where this will end I dont know but for me to watch her explode is something indescribable and I will follow her lead and the direction she takes us and remain denied for so long as she chooses. I love her to bits.
Update Today marks our first six months of chastity My wife celebrated by allowing me to take care of her. Our relationship is evolving and I sense she is getting more comfortable with her role. She loves the attention she gets and the fact that I am taking care of all household duties. She now does nothing arround the home and is loving it. I am growing and seek ways to please her. We grow closer each day. Sexually I have not been allowed to orgasm since 12 December. She however is having four fun sessions a week some short others longer. None the less she is spent at the end and drifts off to sleep. She had a moaning orgasms tonight as a tribute to my 6 month achievement I told her I missed sex to which she responded “better get used to it. I’m getting what I want” “ ask me at the end of the year” This is mind blowing, I love it as does she. She made me cook serve and clean up for her and a female friend of hers. After wards she admitted to getting a “kick” out of knowing what was driving me.) I talk less about been caged which she enjoys. The obsession is decreasing and been replaced with acccptance of my position. Take care everyone and may your road be free of speed humps.
Thanks for sharing your journey, and I have to say it is so well written! It sounds like you are hitting your groove, I hope it continues in a positive way for you both. I laughed the other day when my teenager said old people (over 30) don't care about sex. LOL. Ahhh blissfully ignorant! I'm 49 and hope to be having a loving FLR with my beautiful wife until the very end. Good for you guys !