Our first week

You can not have everything from beginning. In my case, my wife started earning her self confidence through control of my orgasm. When we had sex, I can climax only when she gave permission to me. At first she was thinking, that it is cruel from her not giving me permission, but than she saw benefits for her. We also played some sexy games, where she was in control and after some time she started reading some blogs about femdom/flr and was willing to incorporate some things into our marriage. We also readed togerher book from mistress Ivey - How to set up FLR. (you can download this from internet). That transition was long (few years).

 

Having only just started your journey, don't be discouraged at how she does her part. If it is a FLR then she should pick and choose what works for her, more so than for you. Remember for most women being in charge is totally new and not something they've been encouraged to do by society. Just continue to do what you think she'll appreciate or need, and ask her if it is working for her. Good luck and enjoy.

 

FLR doesn't have to mean that she's not polite. Some people are just naturally polite to others. It costs nothing after all. Mrs Chaste and myself don't have a FLR by any means. She is very much the Matriarch in the family and will quite often "issue instructions" to me. But it's always "I would like.......please". And I will always receive a thank you. My parents were more "traditional" in the old sense of the word and my father was downright rude to my mother! I vowed that I would never treat anyone in that manner! When Mrs Chaste arrived on the scene many years ago, she had no problem with pointing out to my father that "you don't speak to anyone like that!" And he listened! It's probably best to let your FLR develop at its own pace, she may never be the type to issue strict orders but does it really matter?

 

It seems you want her to be dominate and she would prefer to lead. There is a difference. She may see being dominate as actually more work for her. She obviously loves you and wants to be a loving leader with you still having input but being always willing to step up whenever she she needs anything. She obviously enjoys the pampering. You may have to settle for being a partner who places his wife on a pedestal and treats her like a loving queen instead of a slave that just does what he is told.

 

Your first task, is to learn to be very patient, and help her build confidence. Some women take to FLR right away, most take time. Perhaps years.

It takes time for her to alter how she was raised, and after ten years of marriage. And, she may lack the confidence to lead.

It’s up to you to help her. Even little things like not telling her how to drive. You are playing the long game here.

And, in the long run, be prepared, her style of being in charge, may not align with your expectations.

At some point in the future, you ask her if she would like to go back to the way things were, and she says, “No”, you have done well.

 

Oh I see. Maybe it's a case of just finding her feet! In a years time you might post "Help! I've created a monster!" Although that might be just wishful thinking!

 

Not all women can make the change. For her to make a change of this magnitude, she needs a strong partner to support her, and help her feel confident and secure in her new role.

When she reaches the point where she enjoys and expects control, there is no turning back. You need to be certain this is the life you want.

It is a lot of work for you, yet submitting can be very fulfilling and rewarding. I wouldn’t go back either.

 

Some are indeed. But it's really about finding out how she wants it to work.

 

Don't pester her about it, just be open to conversations and be sure to check with her as to how she feels about new relationship. Women tend to want to discuss and share emotions rather than hide them like men have been taught.

 

Again, there are many levels of control. As I've said we don't have a FLR although Mrs Chaste is the "in charge" to a degree. In the bedroom it's "all about her". But she is far from a dominatrix. With regard to me being in chastity that is completely different. She insists on me being locked and enjoys the fact that she controls if, when and how I cum. There is an element of insecurity on her part, which she freely admits to after her first husband left her for another woman. When she sees me talking to other women in the neighborhood she likes the fact that I'm "protected for my own good". This all is part of the game for both of us. And she admits that she sometimes gets a knot in her tummy when she sees me laughing and chatting with another woman. She knows it's irrational but simply can't help it!

 

No! Don't pester her, just be compliant.
You don't want it to feel like "a change" for her, just like it's the most natural thing in the world, which means not explicitly making her focus on the dynamic, just on the pleasure she's getting from being treated well.

Treat her well, and make her comfortable.
If you want her to get more used to making decisions, then when you're not sure what she wants, ask her her preference, but don't put the emphasis on the fact that it's her making the decisions, just focus on whatever her preference is for the thing that you're doing for her benefit.

 

Thanks, good point.

A FLR is whatever the parties involved wish. A FLR does not require domination or chastity or anything other kink.

Once FLR is introduced into a relationship, I think it takes time for a new equilibrium to develop. The fun begins if new practices are introduced such as chastity and discipline. But, they are not required.

 

I agree! Just go with it!

 

Don't forget what the "FL" in FLR stands for!

 

First, congratulations on entering a FLR. Second, there is good advice and kindness in previous comments. Third, I would say be patient. Queen wife and I started this 11 yrs ago and still developing...

Has wife seen this "women friendly" site? Encourage her to corespond with other femdoms. It will take time and experience...

 

please @femalesuoremacy you cant tell Ladys to do things they dont want to do. but really you only just have start and She has not got use to you doing all them nice things for Her yet so please dont start tell her to do what you want and jus wait and then She migt get use to you doing things and want you to do some more but some Ladys dont want it so you just have to do what They wants really.