For many many many years I am sneakily playing with chastity devices. I love them, as I do love bondage/bdsm. My wife however is as vanilla as can be. In the past I tried to bring up the subject gently a few times, but it was clearly a turn off for her. She even found a chastity device resulting in “aaagghhh” reaction. I let it go. the feeling though kept coming back. Sooner or later, I just can’t ignore it. Our sex life diminished over the years. I cared less and less and finally I never initiated anymore resulting in years of max 3 times sex per year. Recently I decided this can’t go on, I took a deep breath and send an app explaining my needs and asking her to read the following website with the question if she would try chastity with me. https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/index.html?view=sensitive My thought was that I couldn’t describe chastity as good as this site does, and she could read it in het own time and mind. I waited 6 weeks but stil no reaction. With another app I simply stated I was a bit disappointed and repeated my question. I wanted to be clear that I understand that it is a big ask, but also something I really wanted and I wouldn’t let it go by. She reacted understandingly and promised to read it all. At this moment something changed between us. I was clear in my apps about missing intimacy and her not wanting to do things against her will. But also about my main goal: being intimate (cuddling, not aimed at sex) and my hope that this would help us. I think she understood this point. After some reading we talked about it, and she pointed out that she saw an advantage in being able to cuddle without having to worry about sex if she wasn’t in the mood. I replied that exactly that was one of my aims: we could cuddle again frequently but only when she would continue with sex she would allow it. In any other occasion the could simply fall asleep as being locked up I would not be able to have sex. I smiled when one of her questions was about holidays and the kids. The mere fact that she was in her mind thinking about this kind of practical issues meant to me she was in the process of accepting my request. At this moment I am still unlocked. However, my last message was a short statement what my expectations are (she asked me to read the site myself and be clear about is, as she noted that having to complement me daily or asking for dickpicks would definitely not work for her). In this statement I have summed up the few things I am asking her: Allowing me to be locked up Keeping the key from me Mentioning if something (or me) bothers her Keeping the key close when she wants sex Reminding me subtle to relock after sex. I am aware that no attention and being locked up could leed to frustration. She said she is. So I also stated that we both would be communicative about this if either of us would feel that chastity would have the opposite effect: making our relationship worse. Finally I promised I would definitely prevent anyone noticing, especially our kids. This app I send last Monday. I am awaiting reacting but am confident she would give it a try. The last week we had as much sex as the whole of last year. We cuddle in bed and fall asleep hand in hand. It already feels being open about it had improved our relationship hugely. I am excited about possible being locked up by her. I won’t rush her reaction, but am more than ready to become a 24/7 locked up man.
Jan 16, 2024: And now patience Nine days after our good conversation, eight days after my concrete proposal of my expectations. All signals are positive, I'm betting all my money on a “let's give it a try”. The moment when she confirms this has not yet arrived. Last week I asked tentatively “when do you expect to give an answer”, to which the promise was “this weekend, I need a quiet moment”. I completely understand, patience is not my core quality . Sunday evening unfortunately “I didn't get around to it this weekend, I'm going to read your proposal carefully, but I expect it to be fine.” Another positive signal, but still not the definitive answer. Argh, we haven't even started yet and I already have to learn that patience doesn't suit me. It is not my place to insist, this is precisely what I ask and want. What is it that makes me crave something that I find so difficult . I have now bought a key box with a combination lock so that she can keep the key, and even an emergency box in which we can keep the spare key so that she does not have the responsibility and worries of access in case of urgent reasons. I haven't given them yet, because I don't want to be pushy, which is very difficult... So…. Sitting on my hands for a few more days, the sun is shining on the horizon. And then I will experience what I have so naively been pursuing…. Do I hope, or will I regret it? No idea, now I can't wait, the reality check will undoubtedly follow soon.
Jan 31, 2024: Lockup-date Butterflies in my stomach. She's out for work tonight, but just made a "lock-up date" via the app. Ash. We agreed on Saturday evening. We've talked about it a few times, she doesn't like it, but is so sweet to try it for me. Love her so much, what a lovely person. Let's hope I know what I want... It was coming, she was asking exploratory questions and exploring the rules and expectations. I found it difficult to be patient, every now and then I sent another text with a question/answer or suggestion, with the result now, yes, a concrete appointment. Yesterday I looked for informative books in anticipation of this joyful moment. Couldn't choose very well, so we ended up with 5. Received today. All books about chasity, selected as much as possible from the perspective of vanilla women. Hopefully not all text about what needs to be done in terms of teasing and attention, but information about the psyche of why I want this and what it brings us. Good if I read them myself I'm completely ready for it. A bag with a lock on it that contains the books and the cage, because we don't want the children to have access to them (accidentally or otherwise). This bag is a surprise for her, ready on her pillow. An envelope with a sweet letter, and a key box with keys to the cage and the bag on her bedside table. All she has to do is change the PIN code of the key box. Even a spare key in my wardrobe, secured in an emergency key box. I can always reach her if necessary without having to bother her (so she doesn't have to be stressed). And oh yes, well shaved of course... All ready! Three more nights of sleep, an eternity. But damn, #lookingforwardtoit!
Feb 05, 2024 And we're off! Saturday evening was the day: our lockdown date. First we all had fun on the couch watching Who is the Mole, then quickly crawled into bed together, just the two of us. While we were watching Moltalk, she snuggled up to me. To my surprise, her hand quickly disappeared under the covers to gently slide over my now free penis. She touched me very subtly and relaxed and fortunately we watched all the suspicious actions of the candidates (or was it the mole?). The program was over before I knew it and because we enjoyed it another series was set up. To be honest, I have no idea which one anymore . Sparing the details, we both ended with a wonderful highlight. Relaxing in her arms, she suggested that it would be useful if I took a shower tomorrow morning before we locked myself up. I couldn't blame her and chuckled a bit because we were clearly still beginners. We must tackle this better from now on. In the morning we were woken up by the dog, so taking a quiet shower and locking it up was not an option. We had a wonderful day together. I once again suppressed myself enormously not to suggest a lock-up moment during the day, not to impose pressure and to follow her pace. After what seemed like a very long day it was time to get ready for bed. She wanted to take a shower, but she also looked at me with a sly smile and said “and we also have to lock up for a while, right?”. I felt my love for her bubbling up again and she said “yes” a little sheepishly. Showered together and crawled into bed. Now it was time to put a PIN code on the lock so that I cannot access the key. Then she grabbed the cage. Although it's not her thing, I still noticed a little bit of interest and curiosity. Or was that projection? One last “are you sure,” before we say goodbye? The manual on the website really says at least three months.” I had to swallow hard, mumbled something like “yes, as a guideline, and it is not cast in concrete…” but now saying no was of course not an option at all. She was looking at the thing a little awkwardly and I offered to do it myself. Throwing the blanket away, I took the cage and put on the ring first. Even now she was looking quite interested, I think. “Oh, both through,” I asked after I first squeezed my ball and then my penis through the ring. Then the cage itself. Because of my previous self-play experience, I had already learned that smaller = better, so I had to make some adjustments. Seems worse than it is, 99% of the time that thing really means nothing and then rests completely appropriately in that small space. And the less it can grow, the better. Anyway, finally put in the lock. She actually helped a little to close it off nicely. Grinning, she put the key in the key box, clicked the door closed, dialed the numbers again and put it away with a smile. Good night darling, and hand in hand we fell asleep.
Feb 05, 2024: Day 1 Slept a little restlessly, but not too bad. I was half awake a few times, but I don't know exactly whether that was due to the cage. I've been sleeping a bit more restlessly lately, and this night I certainly didn't wake up from a nighttime erection that was squeezing. I am now familiar with those kinds of nighttime disturbances, and they were not at all. Now my expectation is that I have found a comfortable one with this cage, and I hope that after some getting used to it I can also sleep with it without any disturbances. Only time will tell. One night is not very representative, but this one was certainly not too bad. She did ask if I had slept well, but because of my automatic tendency not to focus too much on the chastity game, she answered succinctly and did not discuss the cage further. Got up neatly and put on a bathrobe. I have to pay attention to that, I can no longer walk naked through the hallway (in front of the children). The hard agreement is that it will remain between us, and I don't want to bother my children with it at all. Today, just to be on the safe side, I put on slightly looser trousers. Although I have practiced quite a bit, this is the first time that it looks like it could become quite structural. Is certainly my own wish, but this time is different. If I'm done with it after a certain time, that doesn't mean I'll just take it off again. That is the essence of my wish, that I am forced to wear it. That penny has dropped rationally, but not yet emotionally. I know it, but I haven't experienced it yet. And after less than 24 hours, that penny has certainly not sunk in yet. That will come, and how will I experience that? At work it actually fades away completely. I hardly notice it anymore and hardly think about it anymore. It is present when I have to go to the toilet, and urinating while standing is no longer an option. All in all, a few practical adjustments but none that are really annoying. In summary, I conclude that on day 1 it is very pleasantly present and certainly not disturbing. My wife texted halfway through the day that she was having her period. So a headache and not feeling well, combined with work and children, each with certain headaches, so the week has started again. It actually fits, I'm in this for the long term, let it fade into the background for a while. My last orgasm was only 2 days ago, so the pressure won't be too bad in the coming days. I suspect that during the week I may become a bit more restless. We'll see, so far, so very good.
Feb 09, 2024: Day 5 Five nights later, four full days. An early start in my ambition to be 24/7, and at the same time a huge step. I like it, let's start with that. At least for me, I also notice (projection?) pleasure in my wife, and it certainly feels relaxed and good. It's less awkward than I expected. Somehow I'm still a little ashamed of this crazy and childish request, but that will go away (I hope). We hardly talk about it, we pay no attention to it. She looked while putting it on, but she paid no attention to it. One or two short comments a day and that's about it. What's really nice is that I don't have to be secret about it now. Worn for several days before, but then everything had to be done secretly, so she also went to bed late when she was already asleep, and got out quickly before she was properly awake. Now I even go to bed earlier and snuggle up to her when she wants to read something. In the run-up to our lockdown date, we had been very cuddly again for a number of weeks, and that continues wonderfully. I attribute it to being open about feelings and desires, and that we can suddenly be so relaxed and cuddly again so quickly. I really missed that for years, and I suspect it was mutual. Last night in bed she chuckled "I'm not going to release you just yet", and muttered "three months". Strangely enough, that doesn't make me restless. I haven't had sex during the week for years, so on a Thursday evening my expectations are certainly absent, but it is in her head. A small point that does worry me is that she is not prohibited from releasing me for sex (if she wishes) only to lock me up again immediately. She doesn't have to wait three months for that. Is that aspect not yet clear? Or is she just pretending? Or is that simply her way and decision? I know she can go three months without sex and orgasm, but me? Aah, I feel so relaxed and satisfied in the fact that I have to (may) wait patiently and locked up until she grants me an orgasm. Really, delicious. But I actually enjoy our newfound intimacy even more, the kisses when we leave and come home, the cuddling and superficial touching, and falling asleep against each other.