Online Frustration

Discussion in 'Online chastity and self locking' started by Locked UK, Nov 17, 2019.

  1. Locked UK
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    Locked UK Member

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    So, I'm a submissive guy with, like most on here, a love of chastity and being denied. I am in a relationship and while she will occasionally lock me, for just some evening teasing, and despite making it clear what I would really like, she will not take it any further. I respect that it's just not her 'thing', though one thing she does enjoy is mocking me over my size and always make me wear a cock sleeve or strap-on to fuck her, leaving me at a loss as to why she still won't embrace my chastity needs - it's not as if she would then miss having my cock inside her.

    Anyway, rightly or wrongly I started to look online for a dominant minded female who might 'scratch my itch'. Realistically I could not have a full-on keyholder, all I would like is a lady who would acknowledge the need for discretion and therefore could not be too demanding, but would give simple chastity tasks for 48-36 hours (I could explain this away to my partner as self locking), proven by the use of serial numbered plastic locks on my cage; a touch of humiliation and enforced panty wearing would be perfect too. Am I being needy - I don't know. Can I find anyone out there at all like that? Absolutely not.

    I guess my point is, am I asking too much? And are there any genuine ladies out there who engage in such activity, WITHOUT the usual demands for 'tributes', 'gifts' or sending me their Amazon wishlist. Is it too much to be asking for someone who just wants a guy to impose their demands on, for the sheer pleasure of having their very own sub? Perhaps I am seeking the holy grail, but welcome any thoughts from those out there who maybe have had more luck than me.
     
  2. Kiesela
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    Kiesela Active member

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    I learned that you don't get something for nothing. Also that for a female domme, finding a sub is like shooting fish in a barrel.
    Unless of course they are looking for a sub who won't be making demands on or attempting to manipulate her Or try and use her for his "perfect" fantasies.
    I also think you are at risk of ruining your relationship with your partner.
     
  3. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    In my opinion I think you are asking too much.

    95% of subs I have spoken to would kill to have what you have already.
     
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  4. Locked in love
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    Locked in love Active member

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    I think the answer is right in front of you. Talk to her and be patient. What do you think would happen to your relationship if you actually found this unicorn? I doubt she'd be pleased.
     
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  5. Abstraction
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    Abstraction Force of nature
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    Online fantasies are often just that - and they can hurt the real-life partners who might feel slighted/ignored/unwanted because they won't be able to stack up to the fantasy which will always be perfect in the mind of the fantasy maker. My advice would be to try to establish a better real-life relationship before you go looking for a golden egg-laying unicorn that poops $100 bills.
     
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  6. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Ask your girlfriend if you can just leave the key on her key ring. That way she doesn’t have to do anything and keeps you chaste while you are apart.
     
  7. Skyhigh
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    Skyhigh Active member

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    Just a little advice. Always be honest. Don't tell any lies, don't cover anything up, you will be caught it's only a matter of time!
    Have you asked her, politely, why she Will not lock you Up? Depending on the answer, take it from there.
    Will she store a backup key?
    If yes, purchace a Kitchen safe which is timelocked. Lock you self Up, put the keys in the box and spin the dial. Remeber: you HAVE to be honest and frank, if not, don't do it.
    If your girlfriend accepts you can make a Lot of fun. Take a pair of dice, roll them, and the nummer of eyes is the Days you stay locked.
    Or download a random number app. Set a minimum and a maksimum number and press the button. Set the maksimum to 1000 and let your girlfriend decide :)
    Or do like me, be locked up. Hand over the keys and kiss your penis good buy.
    Today is my birthday. I saw to gifts on the morning table. The bigger one was a normal present. The smaller was just a photo: the key to my Behind Barz belt, the picture was taken in the bank, where the key is stored in the vault. A girlfriend is keeping a backup key. She lives 120 miles away. So present number 2 was one more year in chastity, the most wonderful gift a man can get.
    Best of luck! Did I say it? Be honest, don't EVER tell a lie in theese matters!
     
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  8. Abstraction
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    Abstraction Force of nature
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    Like @Skyhigh said, honesty is the key (pardon the pun). Trying to live two lives will end up in pain and rejection for both of you. You've got it good so don't ruin it by thinking there's something better out there. It might be the case or it might not, but what you've got right now is already there to work with.

    She might not want to lock you up because she thinks it'll mean no physical contact with you. Or she doesn't like the look of your cage. Or she thinks locking up is only for online relationships. Asking her will take all the guesswork out of it.
     
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  9. Skyhigh
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    Skyhigh Active member

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    There is many who is locked up 100% until she decides to have fun.....and sex. Maybe just when they are not together. Because masturbation is a killer in many relationships. If thats the purpose most vanilla girls would lock up. ..fast. Then it's just a tool to keep things in the right place. And it's the main reason why I think a permanent chastity device should be installed at the age of 12. It would have ment all the world for my life!
    Remember: always honest!!!
     
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  10. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Also, keep it simple especially until she is comfortable. You only need a couple of simple rules.
    1. It’s locked when she isn’t there
    2. You don’t get to masturbate anymore unless she tells you to.
    3. She can unlock and use it any time she wishes and it will be ready for her.

    Tell her you need her help because you have a masterbation problem and you feel it is diminishing your pleasure and performance with her. Let things evolve from there and it likely will as she realizes the power she holds with her key.
     
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