New here and looking for a little advice

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Mousey, Mar 13, 2018.

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  1. Mousey
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    Mousey Member

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    So lets me start a little bit of back ground. My wife and i have been togerther for close to 8 years. At the begaining i did somethings outside of the relashionship i am not proud of and still hold tons of guilt over and am still paying for (however thats a diffent can of worms all toghter). So anyway about 2 years ago i confinded in her that i was intrested in chastity and some other stuff. She agreed to go along and try stuff out. Which i total kid in a candy store and unloaded everything on her all at once. That ofcorse led to her being overwelmbed and shutting everything down. Along with telling me it was ether her and plain vanilla life or nothing with her. I chose her. However things have never and probly will never go back to the way they were before and have left me with the longing to be locked up and be under her control. The real catch is that ever since our botched experament her behavor has never changed from the controling and be littling that brought this out of me.
    So how can i brouch the subject with her. How can i tell her i need to be under her lock n key phyically. Any thoughs?
     
  2. Herlicker 1970
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    This is a tricky thing but perhaps if she reads up on being a KH in a FLR. Lots of benefits for her including your cock being locked up till she wants it.
    My wife was reluctant at first but she read up on it and now she is loving being in control.
    Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
     
  3. Mousey
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    How did you get over the hurdle of evem bringing up to her the idea to start reading into it. I mean my wife is a fan of being in control. She totally has the make up to be a keyholder. Hell she has control of most aspects of day to day life and well as for any sexual activtiy she already controls and denies me has it is.
    My problem is just the being up the idea of reintoducing chasity with out starting world war 17
     
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  4. Mousey
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    I dont feel like its a doomed idea im juat fearful of bringing it up
     
  5. Robinoh
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    Herlicker 1970

    So what reading did your wife do? What resources are there for the wives that aren’t so kinky that they’re scared away after the openin chapter?
     
  6. Mousey
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    Its been a while so i cant recall off the top of my head what she did read. It was more of a let me teach you has we go. However i threw so much at her with the kid in a candy store mind set i never stopped to think or consider. So yes i messed it all up and im playing from miles behind now.
     
  7. Robinoh
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    Me too. I threw EVERYTHING at her at once. Bombed big time.

    Now I’m slow playing all of it and looking for vanilla ways to explain my desires and the benefits for her. Without pressure to “act” a certain way.
     
  8. Herlicker 1970
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    She googled it not sure what she read, she also joined fetlife, but since we found this site we are rarely on fetlife now.
    Lots of good postings on here for KH and sub.
     
  9. Herlicker 1970
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    Baby steps
     
  10. Mousey
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    Yea now that things have been back to being good and steady for quite sometime im worryed about knocking us 5 steps backwards but trying to bring it up. So im trying to find a good way to get the ball rolling
     
  11. Herlicker 1970
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    I guess just tell her the advantages of you being locked and serving her. She controls your cock and orgasm. You become more attentive to her and her needs.
     
  12. Mousey
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    Im not sure how to start the talk tho
    I know that when we tryed it out a few years back she liked the more attentive i was, my biggest thing is i dont want to send us backwards or worse over my want
     
  13. Herlicker 1970
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    Not 100% sure maybe some KH in the group will have some advise
     
  14. Mousey
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    I do apreacate the help tho
     
  15. Herlicker 1970
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    No problem.
    You would think keeping you locked would appeal to her knowing you were bad in the past. If she locks it up you or no one else can touch it. Your kind set will change to only focus on her, being submissive and obedient. Looking to please her every chance you get.
    I don’t watch porn any more, my goddess doesn’t allow it but I also have no desire to. Same goes for looking at other woman, no desire to at all.
     
  16. Mousey
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    Her big thing is she always throws in my face she wants a "domint real man" but she loves me so.
     
  17. Herlicker 1970
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    Ahh I see
    So unless you want your wife to have a boyfriend that can dom you both
     
  18. Mousey
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    Which i dont mind at all that is another thing ive thrown out there
     
  19. Herlicker 1970
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    Maybe that is what turned her off.
     
  20. Mousey
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    It could be that really pushed it. Tho she hasnt dont anything with anyone phyically that i know i do catch her from time to time flirting with random guys while we are out and she just plays it off has she didnt relize she was. This year started out with her asking me if she contact her ex and i know it was for a sexual matter tho nothing i know of has come of it.
    So this is why in heart i beleave if aprouched correctly both subjects could be on the table.
     
  21. Herlicker 1970
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    Well I wish you luck my friend.
    Maybe lock yourself up and start being more attentive, maybe that will grow on her
     
  22. Robinoh
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    Thank you !
     
  23. Mousey
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    I have been putting more effort into her wants needs and such as well has doing more for her. Self locking might be an idea.
    So my major selling points to myself thinking it could be on the table.
    . There is no sexual activty between the two of us. So why not just lock me up and put her worrys aside.
    . She loves and creaves power n control over me.
    . She has asked bout contacting her ex in a possable sexual matter ( that is what really kicked me back into all of this)
    . When did try she seemed to enjoy the control.
     
  24. Herlicker 1970
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    So put it on and don’t masterbate ever again
     
  25. Mousey
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    I think im going to go for it
     
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