I need suggestions on how to get my submissive to click off from the outside world into our world once he arrives home. He struggles to get focused sometimes, and it can be very frustrating. Maybe a short ritual of some sort,or a keyword or phrase he can recite upon arriving home. Sometimes I am the one coming home, as he is already there waiting, any suggestions there as well? It would be much appreciated
My wife is quite clever she just leaves me to chill for half an hour when i come home then turns up the heat gradually. I think the big bang approach with us males doesnt work.
I'm no expert in this area but I think simple and symbolic things work. Do you make him wear girlie panties? Some swear by this and I went through a phase of buying pretty pink ones for pet and making him wear them on the weekend. If this interests you, then why not having him shower when he gets in from work and then dress in pretty panties when he gets into his casual clothes. That might help his head space. How do you feel when you get in? Some people just want peace and tranquility, so you could get him to run you a bath, candle lit, a glass of wine (or something else if you don't drink)... if you don't mind having him around and talking about your day, why not have him prepare a footspa and give you a pedicure or massage while you both catch up. Or just taking your shoes and polishing them and putting them away for you. Gotta love foot worship ideas. These may not seem like unique things, and some people may do that sort of thing anyway, but just taking that 5-10 minutes out to process the busy day can help a lot. I will be picking up ideas from this thread hopefully and I will add my own as they come to me.
if you feel good have him kneel and kiss your pussy (covered or not is your choice) if you arent in the mood just have him kiss your ass and leave it like that, one or the other must be done every time you meet and then you will have a reaction to go on, good luck curtsey chastemaid
Our little ritual is for me to kneel and kiss Goddess's feet if i arrive home and She is already there. If i am already home i when She arrives i am waiting naked, kneeling and then kiss Her feet as i welcome Her home (She calls ahead so that i can get in position). Good advice from substillaman though. Your sub might need a few minutes to relax and unwind from work before he is ready to serve. Everyone is a bit different. i know i need a little time for myself everyday, particularly in the morning.
A ritual in the morning sets the dynamic up for the day, another for when you arrive home, perhaps if needs be kept going during the day with texts and calls.....
I love Miss Watchful's suggestion of pink panties, and Chaste Maids suggestion of a ritual greeting - on his knees perhaps kissing your panties as he enters. This should be followed by corner time to give him the space to drop his thoughts from work and get into mode for you, tell him not to come out of the corner until he is ready to serve.
I usually use the time I'm traveling home to reset my mind frame from work to home. It doesn't always work, but most of the time, by the time I get home I'm very glad to be there and there isn't a thought in my head about work. You just have to learn to let things go at work. If you have a work mobile, turn it off as soon as you get home, don't check office email or anything like that from home. Home time is YOUR time, not theirs.
Wow alot of super advice and ideas, thank you sooo much. I like Mistress Watchful's suggestion on the panties, I do have him wear pantie at bed-time, which actually gets the cock throbbing in his "CB" 6000. I used to have him take a time-out of sorts in the submissive position for around 10 minutes to just clear his mind of the day's clutter, and focus on being at home with his Mistress. I also like the idea of having him kiss my pussy or ass....very humbling and a very quick reality check that he is home, and is now ready to serve me. Will take ALL your suggestions to heart, and I am sure there will be one or two that click for us, and our lifestyle and time schedules.
I WOULD HAVE HIM SHOWER MAYBE IN COOL WATER ONLY , THEN PUT HIM INTO A BRA AND PANTIES AND HOLD A STRESS POSITION FOR 10 OR 15 MINUETS. HE WOULD BE IN A CHASTITY DEVICE 24\7.
The question poses a difficult one, that my Goddess has wondered if me too. How much isolation time does a male acting as an Alpha in the real world need to decompress and get into the state of mind of being willfully submissive? I know for us, we discovered that just walking in the door from the real world pressures I face (I have a full time job as a construction crew chief) and immediately dropping it sounds good, but just doesn't work that way. What we do, is about an hour on those days. I as a trans person have a hidden female beauty regimen that I do everyday, regardless of whether we play or not. It's just a cool down period, and I bathe, take care of myself by shaving, exfoliating, moisturizing, and when I come out I put on my bra and panties. In that time I have the clear space in which to cross over into my sweet, wonderful, and very sexually devious life with my Goddess, knowing that the morning and return to it will come soon enough. It's just a bit of balance and a crossover point for me. Just give him a bit of time before you pounce on him, girl. He loves it when you do and just needs a few minutes to come down from all the pratfalls of being Alpha in the workplace. Good luck. M.