Hi all, Thought I'd write about my experience as it may help a few people. I've been married to my wife for 8 years, we have two children and up until a couple of months a go we have been very much in a vanilla relationship. Our sex life has always been very traditional and my wife has always desired that I was dominant and claimed she was completely submissive. I stumbled across FLR on a random Google rabbit hole and as I was reading it it helped me realize the dynamic of our relationship was heavily female dominant. My wife has always been a little bossy and is the one with a temper out of the two of us. After reading it, I text my wife straight away and asked her if she had heard about it. She had not but started researching herself. After a couple of conversations, she agreed that we did have an flr dynamic in our everyday life and that she would be happy to embrace it more. The contentious points have been trying to not let pride of typical male ego getting in the way and on a psychological level, there's definitely something inside of me that feels like I should push back even though I have no desire to be in charge. I've always been into femdom generally but consider myself a switch sexually. After a month or so of my wife falling into this role and slowly ramping up playful dominant language, I decided to what I viewed in my mind risk it all and see what her thoughts on chastity and pegging were. Initially I think she was taken back but 2 nights a go she agreed to hold my key and oh boy - it's been like a dream ever since. So I guess this post is aimed at anyone who is in a vanilla lifestyle and worried their wife wouldn't be receptive. The day before we asked we had a long Convo about flr and she really opened up about how all her life she's be told to act a certain way to fit in as a woman etc. to which she got emotional and thankful that I was empowering her. So final advice would be to go for it and slowly introduce things you want and POSITIVELY reinforce her if she's making an effort, if they are like my wife this is completely new to them and they are looking for some type of validation. Thanks, D.
Congrats! I couldn’t be happier in my wife and I’s situation. She loves it too. Once you have the dynamic figured it out it becomes win win for both of you.
Congratulations on being brave enough to bring up the topic and to her for considering it. She is rare. You both have the opportunity to lead a life you wouldn’t have believed existed. Vanilla relationships have too much ambiguity to function smoothly. A FLR can help reduce the question of; “Who’s responsibility is it to do this task?” Have you pondered whether or not you may be submissive?
You make a really interesting point about vanilla (assuming you mean a marriage based on an absence of clearly delineated gender roles). Marriage was never that. It has historically been a patriarchal institution with complementary division of power, rights and responsibilities. FLR maintains that but turns it around. It’s the “vanilla” that’s the outlier.
Congrats to you! Yes, it’s hard to get the conversation started. I relied on a bit of liquid fortitude. We are over 4 months in now (chastity ) and slowly moving toward a deeper and more structured FLR. Loving every minute of it too!
Congratulations! This is awesome. I recently posted how I feel like we’re so close as she is clearly the dominant one in our vanilla life. Just not in the room. can you share what you sent her? I’d love to try it.