I have been cajoling my wife for several months now to try to get her to extend our chastity play beyond me just being locked in my CB while she has her period and she always resists saying that chastity is just another male dick obsession ! On Tuesday her period arrived & I put on the CB and gave her the key as usual but on Wednesday night she was really upset & crying saying that she wasnt happy with her sex life and that I was only bothered about what I wanted. I tried to talk to her but she was in no state to discuss it and we agreed that she would take yesterday off sick so that we could talk about things. She told me that she thought she had done wrong by having me wear the belt during her periods as it was reminding me of what I used to have with my ex and it had meant that I had become more distant. Then she asked me about what my ex used to do for me. I found this really difficult because I wanted to be honest but I didnt like to crow on about sex with my ex. I chose not to mention the femming as I knew this would be too much for her my wife does see my ex sometimes and I have always hoped that this aspect was never mentioned by my ex. She seemed to listen very carefully and take it all in without getting uptight. Then she asked me what was the longest time I had gone without orgasm and about how I washed/cleaned the belt when I had been wearing it for more than a few days. This gave me the idea that she was contemplating agreeing to extend our chastity play but then she said that my problem was that my ex had done everything that I wanted and that it hadnt really been true chastity at all but merely sex games all focused on me & what I wanted and that I was still focused on me & what I wanted it. She said that her own ideal would be for me to take the belt off there & then and for us to scrap it and have a normal sex life but that she wasnt convinced that this would provide the best long term solution as the ghost of my ex would still be there in the background with me recalling & fantasising about those chastity experiences. She is therefore prepared to act as my keyholder for 6 months but it is on the understanding that it will be proper chastity (I needed to understand that she wouldnt be dressing up, teasing or providing weekly releases) and that I would spend that 6 months focused totally on pleasing her. She actually said that to take my dick out of the equation might help me focus on her needs ! I asked about orgasms and what happened after the 6 months. There will be no orgasms for the whole 6 months and she said quite openly said that she doesnt expect that I will want to continue after 6 months. However if I did then although she didnt want to become the dominant partner & it wasnt quite the sex life she had imagined, as long as I was providing her with the sexual satisfaction she needed, she would agree to continue it but on a broadly similar basis she wasnt really into dressing up or teasing & for some reason it was important to her that I saw it as a lifestyle choice rather than a sex game - but she would allow orgasms from time to time. I thought about what she had said and suggested that although I could see what she would be getting out of it and I really did want her to enjoy her sex life I couldnt really see that there was much encouragement for me. She said that all I was thinking about was the chastity option but there was of course her preferred option of just binning the belt and getting on with a normal sex life. Everything she has said is right it undoubtedly would be better for her if I didnt have the obsession with chastity. I know what she is trying to do and that makes me all the more determined to get through her chastity challenge and give her a good time too. Shes expecting a decision by the time her period ends or the belt comes off for good but Im sure she knows what Im going to do. Its not really what I would have ideally wanted but she is right in that I have been focused on my needs and I will get through by telling myself that it will get better after the 6 months. Ive been trying to research this morning about the health aspects of 6 months without an orgasm but it seems that it is perfectly OK despite what you sometimes read to the contrary. Anyone any experience of going this long with a non-participative keyholder ? Im sure Ill be straining in the belt when Im looking after her needs and maybe, if youve got to go 6 months, its better is it without a load of teasing ? I cant remember the last time I went more than about 10 days and if I try to think about it rationally I can't understand why the prospect of 6 months like this excites me - but maybe that is the obsession of it.
Hiya, While my experience isn't the same as yours, I feel I can comment a little. My wife is aware of my CB desires, and is OK with them, but has absolutely no interest in participating herself. Her idea of being a KH was to hang the key on the key rack by the front door and say "Take 'em if you need 'em". I've found over time that I can sate some of my need for chastity play simply by imposing periods of self-denial. At the moment, I'm approaching three months. I can say that the level of horniness and titillation I get from the protracted denial is very satisfying. Our own imagination can be a quite abundant source of teasing. Given that your wife would expect you to continue providing for her sexual needs while you're locked, this really sounds like a nice arrangement. I would jump at such a thing, personally! She will probably find you to be a much more attentive husband and lover, and will come to enjoy having you belted. You'll be perpetually frustrated, horny. Woo hoo! arty0002: If I was in your shoes, I'd be begging "where do I sign?!?" lol Best of luck to you both! mikecb
Thanks for that Mike. Yes I am very much 'up for it' and it should be fantastic for my wife - because I will spend the whole 6 months trying to make sure it is ! I've no idea what sort of state I am likely to be in after 6m without sex but if at the end of it she feels fulfilled and is happy to continue to act as my keyholder, then I guess I will accept her terms ! My concern is that Im pretty sure (because she doesn't really understand chastity) she is treating it as a one off for 6 months because she thinks I couldn't possibly enjoy it ! It is therefore all the more important that she really enjoys it.
It sounds like your wife has given this some good thought and your off to a good start. I went through this with a vanilla gf who was fairly submissive but she really liked it once she saw the benefits. And the sex became incredible because she was able to relax and let me please her through message, rubbing her, toys, and oral. All I can say is the more you make her enjoy this and the more you make her see it's about HER an not your kink she'll play along. The minute it shifts back to you, it's over (been there done that). So just take it a day at a time, don't worry past the 6 months, and be the best, subbie hubbie you can. And you might even want her to sign in her and chat with some of the Mistresses. Or you might want her to go to the Elsie Sutton site or other similar sites that are not hardcore but more about how this benefits women In any case good luck and keep us posted on how things go.
Thanks for your advice tomf 22033. I would like to get her to sign up on here - I think most of the Mistresses talk a lot of sense and understand the kh/sub relationship very well. She isn't embarking on this thinking of herself as a Mistress at all & if we do eventually get to her signing up on here then I think I'll know we are there !
This is proving tougher than I expected. After a couple of weeks of letting me please her all the time which she seemed to be enjoying I think my wife must have decided that I was enjoying it too much too ! Since then she doesnt want me to do anything for her and Ive never seen her naked or in her underwear at all. She also hovers around if Im on the computer to make sure Im not on porn sites. Basically she is doing everything possible to make sure I get no sexual stimulation. This makes it harder because you question what the chastity is for if theres no reward somewhere but the reality of course is that she is wanting to get it out of my system and has obviously decided this is the best way. Im off work today and at home on my own and Ive femmed myself up in her gear (because I got rid of all the female gear I had used with my previous girlfriend as soon as we got together). Her clothes dont fit me very well at all but I cant believe the comforting feeling it has given me after Ive become increasingly frustrated. I begin to think she might succeed if Ive got another 5 months like this and any continuation after that would take the same form, then Im not sure I do want it. The trouble is I know theres no middle ground with her despite my hope that this might be the start of her getting more interested in it, she really doesnt seem to get chastity and doesnt want to do it. I was probably better off with the previous arrangement where she locked me in my belt during her period and then gave me one really good teasing session before the belt came off when her period had finished but it is me that wasnt happy with that and has nagged for more ! It is all so frustrating because she did seem to enjoy the attention she was getting initially. To make matters worse still we went away for the weekend and spent two nights in a room with paper thin walls listening to the couple in the next room having a long loud session the girl seemed to be screaming and moaning for hours (we never did see her as her boyfriend/husband came down for breakfast on his own my wife reckons he had left her tied to the bed as we could hear them at it again when he got back to the room and we kept hearing a sound of metal clinking). This was bad for both of us. It frustrated the hell out of me because, normally if we were way, we would be at it too and my wife just kept saying that she wished it was her. In the end I told her to take the belt off because I wanted to screw her but she claimed not to have brought the key with her. I dont really buy that because Im sure she would have it in case of an emergency. I love her and dont want this to come between us long term. I think the message from her is very clear and Im pretty much resigned now to having to do my 6 months (because she seems to have decided that it is necessary to make me do so) and then accept that she has won and get on with our lives without chastity play.
Something positive at last ! Now almost 3 months in and nothing has changed from my last post. It has become less frustrating because, as far as possible, I have avoided any stimulation. I did mention about 10 days ago that I wasn't sure it was worth seeing through the 6 months to which she said that, strictly, I had committed myself to the 6 months but if I wanted to duck out she would let me on the basis that chastity was never mentioned again. I'm not sure quite what it was in this that convinced me to carry on but I am pleased I did as I've today been into Amazon's website and found, based on the browsing history, that they were recommending a book 'Female Domination'. When I looked why that was being recommended, it was because someone had been looking at the Lucy Fairborne book 'Male Chastity - A guide for keyholders' ! Now I'm straining inside my belt for the first time in weeks. I've no idea if she's ordered the book but it is the first sign of encouragement in weeks and I will happily carry now. I don't expect anything to change anytime soon but I do wonder (hope) if she is contemplating being more participative if I pass the initial test'.
It is getting easier. 7 weeks to go and, once I got used to getting no stimulation at all, it has probably got easier actually. I had always struggled to believe some of the stories of going for so long without releases but it is true that, after a certain amount of time & without any stimulation, you do seem to move from craving an orgasm to being accepting that you're not getting one any time soon. I think it would have been harder to get through the 6 months if I had been pleasing my wife daily as I was at the outset. I'm not even sure if she has thought this herself and that is why she's been looking after herself. Maybe she could see how frustrated I was in the early days - but, then, if she really is determined to stamp out my desire for chastity, I'm not really sure which would have been her best approach because, now, it all seems relatively comfortable and, although I have no great wish to carry on indefinitely without an orgasm, I feel like I could do ! I have to say, though, that I'm not convinced about the 'stamping it out' theory. I might be deluding myself but, increasingly, I think this was part of a game plan to see what I could cope with before she launched into a more participative routine after the 6 months - she was certainly keen enough to talk me out of opting out when I had contemplated doing so. Although I've not seen her without clothes on for ages now (and she has said that I will not do until after my 6m is up), she has over the last week or so taken advantage of the hot weather to start wearing very revealing tops & seems to be teasing me without being too obvious. I remain hopeful !
Wow Lean Period I am not sure how you have made it this far as I am only half way through a 21 day lockup. I too have heard for those who say they have been kept for six months etc and have been inclined to say, ya right. It is good to here of your quest. At this point, after doing the time thus far I am hopeful for you that 7 weeks should be the home stretch.
Lean Period, I hope as you enter the final stretch, your Wife is interested in making this a participative experience. Part of me is concerned that she interprets your desire for chastity as a desire for abstinence. I do hope she knows the difference! Best of luck on your heroic undertaking! mikecb
Unexpected turn of events ! I didn't have 7 weeks to wait after all ! Bizarre night last night. My wife surprised me in the most stunning latex outfit I have ever seen, teased me for a while before removing the belt, taking me outside and having sex in the garden ! In fact, despite how great she was, it took me a while to be fully erect after such a long time in the belt. I was slowly recovering from such a totally unexpected mind blowing turn of events when she told me why she had done it. She had read yesterday in the paper about some study at Sydney University that said that sex every day improved mens fertility. The belt would therefore be consigned to the cupboard until we had a couple of kids but she went on to tell me what she had planned to do after I had completed the 6 months in my CB and said that, after we have the children, I can have as much chastity as I like and she will be the best KH imagineable ! Apparently she had been impressed how I had stood up to my time in the CB and respected her decision not to provide stimulation & she had surprised herself how much she had enjoyed the power she felt making the rules. She had been longing to let me pleasure her again but was enjoying me being in a state of confusion - not knowing what she was thinking or what she was going to do at the end of the 6m. I am certainly in a state of confusion this morning ! On the one hand pleased that there is the prospect of some great chastity play to come in the distant future with the woman I love but, on the other hand, the abrupt end to things last night and the assumption that we're going to have the kids NOW is taking some getting used to. Don't get me wrong, we have discussed having children & it is something we both want to do - I guess it's just the way it has all come about. I tried to suggest that we could still play with chastity whilst we tried for children but she is having none of it - 'we will be having sex every day and what's the point therefore of wearing a CB?'. Fair point I suppose but it just makes me feel like a bit of a machine !
Lol, wow, what a turn of events! I must admit it's hard to argue with sex every day. Still, I don't see a reason to get out of the habit of wearing the CB. Unless she thinks it's a real pain in the ass, why not have you wearing it during the day? You've accomplished the ability to manage 24/7 wear. There will certainly be days when she won't want to have sex, whether it's during her monthly cycle, or just "not tonight dear, I have a headache". Does she approve of you masturbating during those times? If she's getting off on the control, one would think not. Let's hope you can find an accommodation there, somewhere. Still, it sounds like you had a hot hot night, and the prospects of lots of hot sex to come. Congratulations! mikecb
Thanks Mike. Discussed it again last night & there is no changing her mind. She has bought several books on female control/domination & apparently has spent 'hundreds of pounds' on 'clothes & equipment' ready to launch into her plan once I had done my 6 months. She could see my disappointment at the thought of this being postponed for what is likely to be 2/3 years & she told me that from hereon in she will control & dominate me totally - all that changes is the belt & the daily sex and I should prepare myself because, even with the daily sex, I will know that I am being 'used' for her pleasure ! This represents a major shift to her previous fairly vanilla approach to our sex life & the thought of this excites me (and I can't wait to see more of her new gear), but I can't help feeling irritated by these bloody boffins & their Research in Sydney !
Hi there Lean Period. A couple things occur to me about your situation. It is possible that your wife was at some level aware of her tendencies towards domination but was ashamed or confused by them. They are after all not the normal role a woman plays. It seems that by showing that you were actually after her to be dominant and not just to "pretend" to be dominant that you have allowed her to really examine herself and who she is. Seems to have worked out for you both. It is also important to remember that she is in control. If she wants you for sex everyday then that is what she wants. Don't top from the bottom. Chastity in a FemDom relationship is always on her terms. It might be worth pointing out however that masturbation is not good for fertility. She may then demand you save yourself for her. This may not involve a device. But it might involve a serious penalty if you disobey. Keep going and remember you serve her now.
She was right - she can indeed leave me feeling used whilst having sex every day. Since the sudden change last week when the belt came off & she wore the amazing latex outfit, although we've had sex everyday, I have been blindfolded & tied up and have not really been all that participative in it ! I've still really enjoyed it though - it is such a change in her ! I thought I would really miss the belt & the denial but not at all - although I don't seem to feel quite so 'loved up' towards her and I don't really know why - unless it is just because I am getting sex every day !