Whether you are the Goddess, or the sissy/slave. I need advice because I am seriously considering giving up 24/7 control to one of my exes. We played some pretty kinky and extreme domme sub games for many years when we were together. I am near retirement (early, I am only 55) but we have been talking and I think i would accept being 24/7 sissy to her domme. My challenge is that iw ould like 24/7 365 chastity, and as frankly as I can say it, I want to be abused. I know that sounds like someone off on a fantasy tangent, but I assure you it isn't. I want to be reconditioned and broken down and rebuilt into an absolute servile human being. My question to both side of this equation, is this realistic, I trust her absolutely and have no concerns on that level but is it realistic to live 24/7 as a servile passive sissy with no orgasms ever again, living in a constant state of desire and frustration while serving. In my mind I imagine a period of a month or so when we get tother that I would live in an empty room with a chain and collar like an animal, fed when she wants and going through daily conditioning exercises designed to mold me into what she wants. She is bi polar and that is part of what we split over but now, I look at that instability as a plus because I never know what her modd would bring and there could be times of serious neglect and abuse, and I can't help it, that excites me. So is it realistic and possible and has anyone else ever done this, what was the outcome, do you still live like that now?
I am curious why you are involved with someone to this extent when you broke up over her mental health issues. I mean, would you have broken up if that was not an issue? I think that the question you need to ask yourself is whether you would be in a relationship with her now? Are her issues being treated professionally?
I'd love to hear how you fare in this. I went through an experience recently with someone who waxed sentimental with words that echo yours. The potential for problems I see .. rather.. I experienced and possibly this could be something for your are the "mold me into what she wants" that may not be what you fantasize about. Also, what makes a good slave is not necessarily erotically compelling to a woman, or even desirable in a mate should the relationship be a monogamous one. If not, then that is not a factor. If you broke up due to the bipolar before, what makes you think it would be useful now? Or work better now? I'm not saying it won't just wondering about the rationale. I think that 24/7 is doable but you need to be able to shift in and out of role if you're not going to be a slave in all contexts. For example depending on where you live it could be very offensive and socially acceptable. You may need to be okay with losing your social support network and entering the realm of "very unhealthy" emotionally and psychologically if she chooses to put you in those circumstances (see the human givens theory on wiki for the human givens) I also think that her mental instability makes it less likely to work, not more - because that kind of commitment requires real effort on both sides and very deep trust not just erotic excitement. Being a Dominant is an enormous responsibility, being one 24/7 even moreso. For someone to break you down and build you up they'd need significantly psychological tools and a high degree of ethics, to not just break you down and fuck you up, leaving you with PTSD and a host of psychological scars. Choose wisely. Perhaps someone with a lot of knowledge in the world of hypnosis, nlp and psychology and coaching. Maybe test it out for a period of time and re-calibrate.
I was wondering when the lockdown would bring out the crazy scenarios. 1. She is your ex, what is the point of entering a relationship that has already run its course? 2. She is your ex, what is in it for her to enter this kind of relationship? 3. Having someone with mental problems chain you alone in a room may not be the smartest idea. 4. What exactly are you being conditioned for, certainly not a real relationship...I did mention she’s your ex right? 5. Emotionally speaking, being isolated from love, friendship, and intimacy would create a very unstable mind. 6. She’s your ex, I really can’t stress this enough. Why why why would you pick the one person that it DIDN’T work out with, to have this close of a relationship with? Ok, I’m sure there are a thousand more, I just can’t write them all, and frankly there isn’t a point. Anyone willing to consider this route clearly isn’t thinking of reality or consequences
This is a fairly common scenario in jerkoff fantasies such as this post because the ex would be cruel due to lingering resentment over the end of the relationship and thus deny and torment the man forever and ever and ever.
I would like to address a few of the points made here. In response to "Nicoftime" you are absolutely right and that is what I hate on some of these sites because as you read they come across like a modern kinky version of the old Penthouse Letters. All I can say here is I assure you that although I find this exciting and for some of the reason you note, this is an actual consideration right now for me. Also in relation to "Nicoftime" regarding her being my ex, yes she is my ex and please do not let me be misunderstood, she is bipolar and it did create some issues in our relationship way back when, she is long since on medication and our breakup frankly was based more on me, I was the one who left but I had arrived at a place and moment in time where I was truning my back on all the "sissy stuff" and was going to be done with it. I am sure every sissy goes through periods every few years where they decide that it is just a fetish and they need to put it behind the, whether out of guilt or shame or whatever. I have since come to realize that "sissy" is not a fetish or fantasy roleplay, but it is actually a hardwired gender and not something you can turn your back on. Her and I have always shared a "dark connection" and that is how we both got together. We both have a history in our childhoods and I will leave it at that but, intimacy is percieved differently by her and I and we connect on that level. When I stated she was bipolar, I did not want to give the impression of a raving lunatic. My question about how realistic 24/7 is, is a true and sincere desire to understand if that is workable in real life. Of course there has to be periods of normal daily life but why can't a desire to serve and the sissy gender be interwoven with those desires? If a husband and or boyfriend di all the chores for his wife, we would say "she is so lucky" "he is so helpful" "wow he does so much for her", if we add lingerie and heels, is it any different? My question relates to real life and the ability to execute a 24/7 TPE and I am curious for input, clinical and or factual is fine, I am not looking for more masturbation fantasy fodder.
I wouldn't try it unless she's like 110%+ totally in to it and really, REALLY understands the effort it will take. It sounds like you want to be frustrated, just keep in mind that she may frustrate you sexually but if she's not onboard and putting in the effort that you're expecting, you'll probably be frustrated in anger, which isn't pleasant. Just my .02 cents!
You did not make it clear that she was being treated professionally. I think that makes it less risky from both a physical and a psychological point of view. However, you still refer to her "instability". I wonder about that if she is being treated. I realize that everyone has bad days, but what does this actually mean?
As long as her condition is well controlled I Carnt see an issue, my madam is also bi polar, if it’s what you want give it a go!
Exactly my thoughts. She is your ex for a reason, and having mental issues can be dangerous. (I have a kid and an ex with mental issues). Please be careful. Because of the mental issues, you have no guarantee that she listens to your safeword and then you are screwed. Take the time to find out if she really is the right one for this game. And don't sell your life too cheap. One day you wil find the right one to submit to.
I'm pretty speechless on this one... All I can say is "da fuq?" I can't even wish you "good luck" on this. I can do some googling to find a good 'nervous home' or psych ward for you to be submissive to the staff in.... wow....
Yes, so many concerns here I almost don't know where to start. I strongly suggest you move away from this. Sounds like it might be a great BR. Saiph novel. Fantasy is often better left fantasy
Goodness, though. That seems like great advice that's difficult to follow in the general case. The first poster seems at least has a starting place. I don't know at all how to pre-vet someone for all of that in advance. Presumably all of that and even more. Especially if they don't start out lifestyle-y. Now, that does sound like the resume for someone who'd have the technical skills. Those aren't guaranteed though to come with the emotional bandwidth, maturity, or ethics though. Speaking practically, I imagine anyone who's developed and uses those skills for their day job probably wants time off from using them at the house. The way the last thing your gardener wants to do when he gets home is garden. I'm thinking this would almost have to be someone with a recreational special interest in all of the preceding, and that starts to sound like a pool limited to people well ensconced in the BDSM community.
I think it's perfectly possible to get back with an ex and make things work, but 24/7 is a lot diferant from just a few hours in the club or bedroom, theres a lot of good advice about potential problems but if you feel this is what you both want and discuss your needs as well as TPE and CNC. The reality will undoubtably be differant from your fantasy so perhaps have a six month trial and see what adjustments you both need to make. If you don't mind my opinion you need mutual respect and love to make this work and put your partners wishes first. There will be times when your exhausted mentaly and physicaly perhaps sore from beatings when all you want to do is sleep and will be told to do some chores or service, can you do this? think about it and be careful what you wish for as it may come true. Good luck
I just think it's nice you have a dream and a possible candidate to share it with. I've spent a lifetime frustrated in a vanilla world. Here's what I know about relationships (any kind); they either work or they don't. If it works and everyone is happy great, if not oh well. They claim one in five people in the US have mental health issues, most function reasonably well. There you go, if I gave you a dollar you'd owe me 98 cents!