My name is Jason (it’s not actually, but that name will do for this forum) and my wife is Bea (ditto – not being rude but the internet needs to be treated with caution). I do promise however that, names aside, the rest of what I say and share here will be completely true. After years of fantasy (and thanks in no small part to Sarah’s guide), I recently found the courage to have The Conversation with my wife. I first became interested in cuckolding (although I didn’t know it was called that for many years) on a plane when I was 17 years old (I’m 42 now). I’d bought a Penthouse (I was 17, remember) to read and there was a story in the forum section which, even all these years later, I still remember vividly. It concerned a man who returned home from work and, on hearing his wife in the shower, was idly passing the time in the lounge when he noticed an envelope filled with photos in his wife’s open handbag. On opening the envelope he discovered a series of photos of his wife sucking another man’s fat cock until he came all over her face. The husband is in shock but (funny enough) also excited and when his wife comes out she apologizes profusely but also sucks his cock while answering his questions about her lover and how much she enjoys fucking him (turns out it’s her boss at work). After a night of mad sex she leaves the next day promising that since her husband liked the photos so much she’ll bring him back more that night. (She then returns to work, fucks her boss and, for good measure, the photographer they’d hired, before running home for more animalistic shagging with her freshly, but enthusiastically, cuckolded husband). A pretty standard cuckold fantasy story but at the time I’d never heard anything like it and its effect on me was profound – as evidenced by the fact that I remember it over 20 years later. The really exciting part for me was where the wife goes back to work the next day leaving the husband in no doubt that, while he’s busy with other things, she will be enjoying a good fucking without him. The idea of my partner (a girlfriend at the time) getting royally fucked while I waited alone at home was – and still is – the most powerful fantasy I have ever had. As things turned out that girlfriend did cuckold me – once that I knew of (and witnessed the start of) and at least once cheating on me. In another case I was involved in a group sex experience with another girlfriend and got to see her being very well fucked by a guy that had a genuinely large cock. I did not actually enjoy any of these events. I found I could not handle the emotions of it and was either too jealous or – strangely enough – almost completely detached. However exposure to the realities of cuckolding and the realization that I didn’t actually enjoy them, in no way diminished my excitement of the fantasy of cuckolding. My wife and I have been together nearly 20 years but for the first 10 years we both travelled a lot and so spent large amounts of time apart and so, naturally, saw other people. During the 20 years since I first met Bea, almost every wank I have ever had has revolved around the fantasy of her fucking someone else – even though I know absolutely that if she did so now it would almost certainly ruin our relationship. So why, given the above, am I here on a chastity forum rather than a cuckold one? I first came across the concept of male chastity through cuckold sites and didn’t give it a lot of thought as it mainly seemed to deal with guys in dresses eating cream pies - neither of which has ever appealed to me. So for years I continued to wank to cuckold porn and live a secret sexual life from my wife. After a while (and I mean years…) cuckold porn lost a bit of its thrill; the stories all started to sound the same and one picture became much like another. In an effort to recapture the excitement of that first cuckold story on a plane long ago I started to really and honestly analyze what it was that turned me on so much about the idea of being cuckolded. I knew that I didn’t actually enjoy the reality so what was it in the fantasy that excited me? Why, for example, if I was so powerfully excited by the thought of my wife being fucked was I not at all interested in hotwiving or swinging where I too could be involved? After much thought I realized it all came down to that first story and the moment where the woman went off to fuck her lover, leaving her husband behind. What I realized was that for me it wasn’t so much about the woman getting fucked as about the husband not getting fucked! The desire for my wife to take a lover was in fact really the desire for her to have sexual pleasure while I was denied the same. It wasn’t necessarily about her actually fucking someone else (although this remains quite simply the hottest fantasy) as it was about her exploring and enjoying her sexuality while I was prevented from the same enjoyment myself. This also tended to explain why my most intense cuckold fantasies involved me being entirely absent from the actual act, either waiting at home or in another room (and maybe or maybe not being allowed to listen). And so I started to look into male chastity with new eyes. And I found what I had been missing. Although other men still figured high in my fantasies they were no longer essential. What was needed was the thought of my wife enjoying sexual release (albeit with a lover, a toy, or just her fingers) while I was denied my own. I tried playing with this fantasy by stopping myself from cumming when I wanked but found this unsatisfactory as there was no pleasure in self-denial – ultimately I still had a control that I didn’t want - and where was the absolute required thrill of my wife’s sexual enjoyment when I played the game alone? Still I could not bring myself to admit my desire for chastity to Bea as everything I found on the subject revolved around sissies and cross-dressing and submission which I did not want and knew damn well Bea would not want. And then, like the opening of a window, Sarah’s blog came along and showed me that chastity didn’t have to be those things. It could be exactly what I’d desired for so long - the handing over of sexual power and control without the loss of masculinity. Unfortunately Sarah’s blog also raised a major problem. If I really wanted this (and I did/do) then I no longer had any excuse to hide in my fantasy world of masturbation and would have to come clean to Bea. I would, in short, have to grow some balls (albeit with the stated desire to have them taken away from me…) As an aside at this point, Bea and I have had a fairly typical sex life. Lots of vanilla and lots of experimental kinky stuff in our earlier years (although for us this period was extended by our on again / off again earlier relationship), then a decline through age, work and children in later years but never – and here’s the key – any lack of desire for each other. Chastity desires aside, even through the lean times I’d rather not be having sex with Bea than having it with someone else. Recently we’ve begun to rediscover our sex life (kids are a bit older) and, all things considered, we’ve always had a pretty good sex life. Bea’s one real complaint has always been that I am (ha – was…) always very quiet when I cum. This annoyed her as sometimes she wouldn’t even know I had finished but to be honest I’ve never really found orgasms to be that intense (probably because I wanked very often from an early age so never really got much thrill from ‘just another orgasm’ be it alone or with her). And since we’re here I may as well also note that I am not particularly well-endowed, being about 5.5” and fairly thin along with it. For the majority of women I’ve slept with this has never really been an issue (one or two exceptions which have been enough to make me realize I don’t really enjoy small penis humiliation either), and for Bea this has never been an issue although once or twice when really pissed she has admitted to missing a big cock and even once (and I keep this one for my cuckold fantasies) describing to me how fantastic the feeling is the first time a guy with a really big cock enters her (I still wank over this although she denies the conversation ever happened!) Anyway, over our almost 20 years together we’ve done a lot of things and pretty much just had a good deal of fun but we’ve never really played overly with tease and denial beyond the usual ‘wind your partner up to see how far you can push them’ stuff. However about two months ago Bea and I were having sex and she was wearing a flannel nightdress with a tie up section at the bust (okay, I admit it doesn’t sound the horniest outfit but it pushes my buttons…) and she was fooling around by letting me touch and kiss her breasts and then putting them away and telling me I wasn’t allowed to touch or see them anymore. The strength of my reaction to this I think surprised her and she played a bit more, sliding herself off me and teasing that I wasn’t allowed back in etc. In retrospect I think this was less the first time she’d teased me like this (although I struggle to remember another example) rather than the first time I felt confident enough to show her my honest response. I openly showed and told her how much she was turning me on and decided that now was probably the best time to start being honest. I whispered that what would be really hot for me was if she didn’t let me cum at all and, after a bit of playing and teasing she eventually was convinced that I was serious and our session ended with her deciding enough and me left with a hard on the kind of which I hadn’t felt since I was a teenager. We cuddled and talked and I confessed that I found the whole idea of orgasm denial extremely horny and we discussed this at great length until we fell asleep with her wrapped in my arms and my still hard cock pressed firmly in her back. We fucked in a similar fashion for the next three nights in a row (something we hadn’t done for ages) and continued both with teasing and orgasm denial for me and lots of talking (mostly by me) about how hot this was. I was at pains to try to explain that I really wanted this and that what I really wanted was for her to make the decision about whether I came or not. Over the next week and a half some nights we had sex, others we didn’t, but I resisted the desire to wank and reminded Bea that the decision on when this ended was hers. Eventually I ended up coming when she was on top which was a letdown to us both as it felt like an anticlimax after all our play (I was wearing two condoms at the time to lessen the sensations and allow me to last more than a few minutes and the orgasm was unsatisfying for both of us). However we’d enjoyed the game and started to play again a few days later. This time I made it to two weeks before another accidental orgasm when Bea stroked me just that tiny bit too much after saying we should stop now (another unsatisfying end for both of us, Bea because she didn’t want it to happen and me because the moment I started to cum she let go in surprise and gave me an almost perfect – albeit accidental – ruined orgasm). We’ve continued to play with this tease and deny game for the last few months and have both really enjoyed it. We have both noticed and enjoyed the difference this makes to me as after approximately four days I become really horny and affectionate and also much less grumpy both with Bea and our kids. After a week I simply want to hold Bea and can’t let her go to sleep at night without cuddling her in my arms (a lack of which has been another major complaint from her of the years). I have been amazed at how much I notice her and want to just touch and hold her, not necessarily in a sexual way, but just to touch her (in fact one night she was changing into her nightdress and I caught a glimpse of her naked breast which absolutely and in the very real sense of the term ‘took my breath away’. Forget porn, that one glimpse was possibly the horniest thing I’ve seen in years. Oh, and I was allowed to cum that night…) This was fun but for me there was something missing and that was the amount of control I still had. I’m pretty good with self-control but two weeks is about my limit and I want to be denied for longer. Also I’m ‘cheating’. When the frustration gets too much I take myself in hand (figuratively) and relive that tension – I don’t come – but just playing is enough of a relief to get me through another day. I couldn’t / can’t stop myself from doing this but I desperately don’t want to be able to – I wanted the next step (and we all know what that is…) However despite the fun we were having I was still very apprehensive about coming clean with Bea. I had intended to buy Sarah’s guide for some advice but in the end events overtook that. About a month ago now we were having sex with Bea on top (her favourite position for teasing as she has so much control) and we were having such a great time I thought ‘the hell with it, I’m going to explode if I don’t get this out soon’. So, as Bea rode me I admitted that, although this teasing was great and we’d both noticed the benefits of keeping me in a state of denial, there was something else that I wanted along the same lines. Although Bea continued to slide up and down on me I could tell that she had pretty much snapped out of the mood and was ominously quiet. I confessed (probably not particularly articulately) that what I really wanted was for her to have complete control (not actually true but I’m allowed to get lost in the moment too) and how hot it would be if I was locked up in a device so I couldn’t ever touch myself unless she allowed it (to be honest there was quite a bit along these lines but my mind was elsewhere as I was both outrageously excited and sweating bullets at the same time). To my relief Bea groaned and kissed me and we continued fucking until she’d had enough and we stopped (without me cumming, natch). Once we’d calmed down (well, she had, I was hard for bloody ages) we talked about the whole thing more rationally and she was pretty cool about it (her actual words were ‘I thought you were going to ask to dress up in my clothes or for me to fuck you up the arse and I couldn’t do that so this is fine’.) In fact she didn’t even think that chastity was particularly high on the kinky scale and was even a bit puzzled about why, if I’d wanted this for years, I’d never felt I could talk to her about it. All those years of wasted angst – live and learn, eh). Since then we’ve continued with orgasm denial play but also agreed that there’s going to be times when we’re going to need to take a break from it (she was delighted when one night after a long teasing session from her I simply rolled her over and banged the hell out of her – she doesn’t want to lose that. However she wasn’t so delighted that she didn’t stop me from cumming that night either). One stipulation was that, as we are in the middle of building a house with all its associated costs, we wait till later to buy a device. Obviously after over twenty years of waiting (albeit that I didn’t always know what I was waiting for…) I’m fine with this and, although very impatient, think it’s a good thing as it gives us time to discuss this in more detail. ……………………… I had intended to post this awhile ago but never got to it so things have moved on a bit since I wrote it. Most importantly I am writing this while my dick is securely enclosed in my new CB6000s. Unfortunately I’m now missing my wife who is holidaying with the kids at her mum’s (in another country) and will be gone for the next 7 weeks. I figure this is a good chance to get used to the device and find the right fit etc. I’m having a few comfort issues and the longest I’ve managed in one go is 48hrs but assume I’ll get it figured out by the time Bea gets home. Despite the above story I’m still a bit nervous about how she’ll react when she gets home (she doesn’t know the cage has arrived yet). Guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it and keep you updated.