Lol!!! Real chastity, it always makes me smile

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Nicoftime, Mar 18, 2018.

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  1. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I always get a smile from someone who has it all figured out. Their way is the real way.

    Chastity has such a broad spectrum of uses, desires, implementation, reasons, and executions that to say any way is the “real” way, flabbergasts me. I find it similar when someone figures out religions.

    Some use chastity simply as a fun way to create anticipation. To extend fore play. Dominance or superiority has nothing to do with it. Does that make their journey any less real or true? Some implement an online keyholder, and some have a real life partner to do it. Does letting someone you will never have physical contact with, make chastity more real? Does having a wife that willingly does this make it more real?

    Heck some people even consider themselves “slaves” even though they are willing participants. Some here even think that there is non consenting consent. Is it more real that they feel they have no choice in the matter, or is it more real when you understand you have a choice and submit anyway?

    Absolutes are narrow minded and lack the imagination and probability of being fallible. If you believe you have figured out the one and truly “real” way of living any lifestyle, I have another absolute for you...you’re wrong.

    Keep em coming though, always fun to hear about the real way things should be.
     
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  2. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    I think I just read the post that may have inspired you to write this. A few months ago I would have responded and probably would have been quite angry about the nonsense I had read. Now I have decided just to ignore the person who wrote it and move on.
     
  3. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    Very wise. :)
     
  4. Happilymarriednerd
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    Exactly. I wouldn't want a lot of the more extreme sides that get talked about, but guess what, neither does my key holder. We're both happy. Call it what you want, but I'm pretty sure the fact that my cock is locked up and she controllers my orgasms means I'm in chastity.
     
  5. Inkstar
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    Inkstar Member

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    Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

    Sorry...it was the first thing that popped into my mind and someone had to say it. Haha

    Humor aside, great points all the way round.:+1:
     
  6. Beautiful and her footman
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    I’m normally not the Internet warrior, but I would hate for a vanilla wife, new to chastity to search “real chastity” and read that thread without seeing that not everyone is of the same opinion.

    I probably could have written my rebuttal better but either way, the opposing view point is there. I personally like reading everyone’s view point on chastity because it gives Beautiful and myself ideas that we can choose to incorporate in our lives or ignore. Even the pure submissive, pnectomies, and findom topics, while controversial, have sparked dialogue between us and have led us to try things we otherwise would not have thought about.

    Anywho, share your thoughts and stories and then just stop there. Please don’t belittle people by suggesting that you are better than them or insinuate that what they are doing is wrong. Hell, there probably are people who love their pnectomy, and that’s ok. It’s just not for me.

    -the footman
     
  7. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Having been either an active member or just watching for quite a few years, I think the most polarizing threads that I’ve read is when someone says “wrong” “real” “true” ...it really strikes a nerve when someone tells them their intentions or actions are not right. Especially since some have involved their partner who is doing it the way they feel is comfortable. It becomes almost insulting when you feel they are being attacked.

    I remember when she first joined here and was curious about ruined orgasms, and asked for some advice. She was hit with “you can’t let him cum for at least 3 months or you are just being used”. “Get yourself a black lover, a superior female should, he wants you to”. “Men don’t need to cum, so why ever give him any orgasms”. Among other gems.

    She never participated on a thread again, besides reacting to mine. It was too much ch, she felt she might be doing everything wrong and she had second thoughts if all this was for her. She liked the control and my behavior and all the fun and attention, but if it meant it had to gravitate to all the other stuff...we had to have a talk. I finally convinced her that however way she likes is the exact way it should be for us, and those are the only expectations I had. It was tense for a bit and really almost ended everything.

    Some I’m sure have the best intentions, but it surely confused her, ya know...doing it all wrong.
     
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  8. Inkstar
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    Inkstar Member

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    Although there have been plenty of polite and helpful members here to help my wife, she has also had her fair share of being put off. We have been members here for about two years and she still is very hesitant to post because of the examples you gave that I quoted.

    After a talking about it, similar to y'alls conversation i woulf imagine, she is back to lurking, but i feel it'll be some time before she wants to engage again if ever.
     
  9. Beautiful and her footman
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    But why aren’t there more women on this site???

    -the footman
     
  10. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    LMAO Very true though ;)
     
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  11. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    I would surmise that alot of those people giving that advice have never been in a relationship with chastity. They sit on the side lines reading tumblr captions all day looking for the righ moment to jump in and give all of their true wisdom on the subject ha ha.
     
  12. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    I LOVE this thread.

    I am a HUGE believer in there is no right or wrong way to do KHing or MC.

    Just like in the BDSM world, and there being so many different fetishes, the same goes for KHing, MC, and all aspects of how to do this. That also goes for couples. Not every couple is the same. What will work for one couple, may not work for another. And quite frankly, I myself, do not enforce the same chastity "rules" for all of my subs. Their individual needs and likes differ from each other, so they each have a different set of rules.
    Just like every male (or his KH) chooses a different device that works for them, that is the same for Chastity techniques....everyone will do this the way that makes them feel comfortable and happy. Otherwise, why do this at all?

    My opinion about CM is that this is a place where you are to come to learn more, try new things, meet like minded individuals and couples, help each other, and not "feel bad" for a lifestyle you enjoy. This is not annplace to belittle others for trying things their way. That is the ONLY wrong: tearing someone or a couple down for not doing MC the way YOU think it should be.
     
  13. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    Absolutely. My beautiful wife\KH had a very similar experience. When we first started with chastity 7 months ago, she checked this site out. That day was dominated by posts on cuckolding. She made mention of the fact that we (she and I) enjoyed chastity but had no intention of cuckolding. The response (from just a handful of people, I'm sure) was quite negative, to the point of being condescending, almost. She did not look at this site again for months, and thought about giving up chastity altogether.

    Luckily, she soon realized how much fun it could be and continued. I've gotten her to "lurk" here a bit, but she hasn't become a member. The point: No one has all the answers. Certainly not for something as subjective as chastity.
     
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  14. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    haven't seen the post which appears to have inspired this one but I agree with nickoftime's sentiment. Do your own thing, enjoy yourself.
     
  15. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    A
    Quite right, I love reading cuckolding posts on CM. Its a very different sort of relationship but obviously one that quite a few couples enjoy and thrive in. Mrs Chaste and myself do not share, we belong to each other and no one else, our choice and our way. The whole point is that no type of relationship is right or wrong and the chastity aspect is as "real" as anyone believes it to be within that relationship! There are many friendly and interesting individuals and couples or even trios here with chastity in common! I don't see a right or wrong way or relationship, I just see variety which as they say is the spice of life! :+1:
     
  16. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Active member

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    @Nicoftime i give up, which thread inspired this response? Understand if you don't wish to call it out directly, but I for one always likes to see perspectives.
     
  17. Beautiful and her footman
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  18. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Active member

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    thanks @Beautiful and her footman I think I can see the main emoter in this piece. The 'Real' declaration could imply that others less extreme are 'less real'! Looking at face value, the OP does come across as a little pretentious, but I'm not sure that is his conscious intention. He appears to have reached an emotional level where he no longer has a wilful role in the relationship and I guess that has created a type of euphoria that now sustains his being as a mindless slave. But I'm not sure he is promoting his world over others lifestyles, it comes across to me as more of a lightbulb moment in his journey and for him it was less real than it is now. Basically he has reached full slave status and has totally deferred his life choices to his Mistress. Having a lifestyle on the edges of chastity, cuckolding and Femdom myself, I would conclude that he is not long for this site and other interest sites maybe more appropriate. And to be honest, those seeking info on the LS and women seeking insight may well be put off by this level of extreme practice, but I dont think people should have to harness their expressiveness just in case it may frighten others off. He does conclude with it's just his opinion, and as such, can be open to challenge. And that is the premise of this thread. But heres the thing; is this thread any less pejorative than his? At the end of the day, his perspective really is his reality! And if we are all happy with our lot, then all of us are right:love:
     
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  19. Beautiful and her footman
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    Valid point @Mandynjack. My only rebuttal would be that this thread has a more or less inclusive tone while the other thread seemed more exclusive.

    And I couldn't agree more
     
  20. martinb
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    martinb Member

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    I got the impression that the original post was the OP expressing HIS OWN experience of, as he saw it, the REAL way to do chastity, and I'm fine with that. It was indeed a little dogmatic, but not horribly so, and it was headed 'Opinion', not 'Fundamental Truth'. Maybe he should have surrounded his post with qualifications like 'IMHO' and 'this is how it works for me', but it seemed like a heartfelt expression of 'this is my world' not an oppressive instruction to others about how they should live.

    I was wryly amused that among the criticisms of his supposedly dogmatic and dictatorial message were:
    • "If you believe you have figured out the one and truly “real” way of living any lifestyle...you’re wrong."
    • "One, there is no one right way to practice chastity. Second, it’s about what the KH wants, not the male."
    Both of those seem to me to be more oppressively prescriptive (and contradictory) than anything in the original post.

    I think we should cut people some slack when they are passionately describing their own experience and opinions about how the world IS or SHOULD BE, and only pile on if they really are trying to bully others into conforming to that view.

    Play nice!
     
  21. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    • "If you believe you have figured out the one and truly “real” way of living any lifestyle...you’re wrong."
    It was supposed to be that way. Like saying I am always right, I thought I was wrong once but was mistaken. Or my greatest attribute is my modesty, I am the most modest person I’ve ever met.

    It wasn’t just an opinion piece, hey different viewpoints can only create a better understanding, when it gets negative, and insulting is when it ceases to become opinion and becomes a hate filled rant of superiority. Just like saying “no offense” before saying something awful doesn’t really make people not to take offense.

    Then again, that’s just my opinion...no offense.
     
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  22. Panda2010
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    Panda2010 There's a fine line between pleasure and pain

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    Ok. This thread has stirred the pot. That is fine.

    I can accept this up to a point. If the OP was just sharing HIS experience of what 'real'chastity feels like, fair enough.

    But, putting down other chastity experiences takes it way beyond just the OP's experience of what chastity means to them.
    • 'For the most part it always was with the use of its computer / online which many of the uneducated believe can never be “real" enforced chastity (emphasis added). '
      • If this comment stopped at the word 'online' I could accept that is is just the OP's opinion. But the rest of the statement is having a go at someone.
      • This begs the question, who are the educated and who are the uneducated?
    • 'In fact it can be very real if not even more real than the games (emphasis added) it continually reads about that are going on here with the vast majority (emphasis added) simply having extremely tolerant and loving Wives / Girlfriends which are indulging in Their male’s fantasies to please their selfish desires (emphasis added)'
      • Putting other people's experience's of chastity down is NOT simply the OP's experience of 'real' chastity.
    And I have only covered two sentences from the first paragraph of the OP!! I could go on, but I desist.

    As an attempt at rational discussion, I put forward an alternative theory in the original thread, namely that there isn't actually a 'real' concept of chastity, as what is real varies from one couple to another (I didn't put it in those exact words, put hopefully you get my drift. If not, go to the original thread https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/bio-opinion-piece-real-male-chastity.26841/ )

    Maybe the original poster @permanentslave is just sitting back laughing because he threw a bucket of burley over the side of the boat and sat back and watched who would bite ;). Nice work! I, for one, took the bait :eek:
     
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  23. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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  24. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Member

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    Because there are too many men! Even the women are men here.
     
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