Lockup fatigue

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Cagedbkr, Jul 5, 2020.

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  1. Cagedbkr
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    Cagedbkr Member

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    Ive been in chastity 24/7 for the past 4 months or so with breaks to clean or when my KH wants PIV sex. Every few weeks though i get tired of being locked up and just want a break, even a day, from being in chastity. I do enjoy the feeling of being locked up, of forgetting I even have a chastity device on, and of waking in the middle of the night as I try to have an erection only to roll over and fall asleep again. In spite of this though every few weeks I feel like I want to shed the cage and let my once free cock enjoy the feeling of being un restrained. Is this common? I am after all the one who introduced chastity and FLR to my KH so why am I desiring to rid myself of it?
     
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  2. steelwaiting
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    steelwaiting Member

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    Im four months into my present stretch with no unlocking. Some days I'd love to be free and we'll that's the whole point. I don't have the choice. That's when it becomes part of your life and no longer just a kink.
     
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  3. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    My thoughts are different. If I can choose which days that I can be released then its not chastity. That said, yes there are some days when it would be nice to be cage free, not for sex or orgasm, just for the freedom. Perhaps that's what makes it so thrilling when you can't decide
     
  4. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    Personally I don't even think about being unlocked. It's just not an option. I never have the wish to be free. And besides it's not for me to decide!
     
  5. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    I definitely have those feelings and act on them at times. Being self-locking, that is an easy option. But for me, being caged doesn't end being chaste, so I still feel like I'm meeting my goals and requirements. Now if i had a key holder, my opinion might change, but as of now, chastity is really up to the individual(s) involved.
     
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  6. Consensus
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    Consensus Member

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    Looks as though it's all horses and courses. Being self locked and only having had 5 hours out since February, i occasionally get a feeling that it could all just stop for a moment, a bit of freedom. So, normal?

    However, not acting on that is definitely something of a turn on for me. Having not acted on it, and not unlocking apart from an ugly patch recently, i feel more at peace.

    Don't know if that answers your question but reading the thread, it seems that you are not alone.
     
  7. Clearstatic
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    Clearstatic Any reception yet?

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    A shaft only device helps with those feelings. Now that summer is here we are pretty much in our pool all weekend.

    Even if the pool is in the 80s, my testicles still want to retreat after a bit. So a day in the pool isn't enjoyable.

    If I have been good my wife will let me put my glans armor cage on, cageless is not an option. The shaft only cage helps give me a "break" without actually getting a break.

    At the latest I have to swap back by Monday morning.
     
  8. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon hornyman

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    I agree I dont like being free anymore miss the cage and how it makes me feel
     
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  9. erasedesire
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    erasedesire Member

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    I get those feelings frequently, as I’m still new to this. My KH is new to this as well and we are learning our way around it together. And in the past (hopefully) I’ve asked to be unlocked for various reasons, sometimes stress, sometimes work.
    And she has done so, but I feel guilty when it’s done. Every time, I feel like I should have just powered through and stayed locked. I’m getting better at recognizing that the momentary freedom isn’t what I imagine it to be, and that it’s better if I stay locked. I’m very hopeful that she is realizing that too. I would love it if one day in a moment of weakness I asked to be let out and she says no.
     
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  10. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Communication is key, talk to your keyholder... It might be a good idea to have some uncaged time with her around... maybe while you sleep...

    You could also barter uncaged time with her... maybe you could do something to have so many hours of the cage... make it worth it for everyone?
     
  11. TheKeyIsMine
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    TheKeyIsMine Active member

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    We got the same behavior here. My sub husband is locked in chastity since January. With a few openings when he was a very good and kind sub. Every few weeks my husband got the chastity blues (we called it so) and wants out of his cage and gets grumpy.

    In this times it helps to tell him how proud i am that he has given up his orgasms..for my pleasure and that his chastity is part of our life and how much I love it. A bit of cuddling helps a lot too. BUT he will never be released when he is in such mood.

    TKIM
     
  12. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    I've been locked up most of the last three years.

    I get these feelings too every couple months - "why did I suggest this?" "why can't I just jerkkk offff". These thoughts usually coincide with peak horniness days.

    But I have no choice in the matter anymore. Maybe I once did, but my wife has grown to enjoy my "caged" behavior much more than when not caged.

    My best advice is to just endure it and try to enjoy it!
     
  13. madams-sissysub
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    totally agree! Sometimes I will get annoyed by my cage, and want it off, but normally it’s hurst cause it’s in a uncomfortable position, once I adjust it a bit, it normally passes.
     
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  14. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Member

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    All the time! It happens to me when I am outside and away from her. I feel the cage when I sit or something like that, and the thought goes through my mind, "That's it, it want to stop. I'll tell her when I get home." Then I get home, change clothes, get confortable, and it's all forgotten, or I see her and suddenly it feels like one more day won't kill me. In that way, the lockdown was a good thing. During the first weeks, there was so much stuff going on I told her I was too busy to handle chastity, and she gave me a break. However, once things started to settle down, she indicated the cage had to go back on, and things were going back to normal. Working from home makes things very easy for me, I must say. So, don't worry, you are not the exception. Like erasedesire said, you'll learn to recognize that the momentary freedom isn’t what we imagine it to be. Other than that, I cannot but second King Hippo, regarding communication with your keyholder. A little talk goes a long way.
     
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  15. shieldingmatrix
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    shieldingmatrix Junior Member

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    Wanting out is natural. It may be a sign of success!

    I'm a proponent of "you have to make your own chastity rules, if not you then your KH has to make them." But there is no "right/true/perfect" way to play the chastity game with your partner. So I suggest optimizing the rules to support your own goals. Myself, my goals are to help my KH feel unselfconscious about engaging in sex on her schedule and not mine, getting what she needs to enjoy sex, fondling my locked dick whenever she wants and allowing me to cum, because she wants that to happen.

    Here's how it works in my life:

    1. I never ask to be let out. (except for health issues...including penis health related ones)

    2. It's not 'chastity' till you really want out and can't get out. Just my opinion here. Helps to have a comfortable but very secure device. I have a PA locked head only device. No removal required, technically 'ever'. But in practice I get out a between one and a few times per month.

    3. I don't whine or complain about chastity, it was my damn idea to start with, after all.

    4. The key resides in a locked box and I have no emergency key, (except on overnight trips away from home and then it is of course secured.)

    5. I keep a detailed Chastity Journal in the form of a calendar where I 'reward' myself for staying locked, by marking it down each morning, and keep track of my orgasm, denials, bondage, locking and unlocking and I tally these things by month and year to reinforce the "success" of my chastity and subjugation of my cock to my KH. It s funny that sometimes I look and see it's only.been a few days since being let out and I am mad with intrusive sexual thoughts and all night erections, and other times it's weeks before I feel that way. I write those things down too, as a way of acknowledging that feeling, which I am powerless to do anything about.

    ShieldinMatrix
     
  16. billzboats
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    billzboats Member

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    I have just started and my problem is that I can’t find a cage that doesn’t rub the underside of my boys raw.
     
  17. Consumed
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    Consumed Right where I belong.

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    I've heard of people actually having the opposite effect where they don't feel right unless they are locked.
    But for me, I haven't had that feeling....yet?
    If I was unlocked id probably binge-er-bate and 10 minutes of excitement would be over and I wouldn't be interested in locking back up for at least a few days. Not to mention the attitude changes it would pose in a FLR.
     
  18. HisFreakySide
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    HisFreakySide Active member

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    Glad to see most people are in agreement since I experience the "chastity blues" as well. I think most people have some degree of cyclical emotions, and chastity only amplifies them as the weeks go by. Denying your body one of its natural urges & functions for an extended period of time is bound to throw everything out of whack.

    As others have said though, wanting out and not being able to is kind of the point. But what's really weird about that - and not discussed as often as it should be in the chastity community - is how the times some of us 'want out' the most are not when we're at our horniest and most desperate to cum. In fact, it seems to be the opposite of what all the porn captions tell us we should be experiencing.

    When I'm at my absolute horniest and I'm pathetically bucking around trying to dry hump the air or my wife's leg, I seem to have no problem thinking about remaining locked up forever. Meanwhile, the dry spells in which sex is the furthest thing from my mind (e.g., stress at work, enjoying other hobbies, etc.) is when I start to feel ridiculous wearing my cage and truly want to be let out... even though there's no need since I'm not interested in cumming and I'm not getting uncomfortably hard in my cage.

    Those cycles are confusing & frustrating for me, and it's probably even more so for my wife. It's important to communicate this sort of stuff to your KH so she can attempt to wrap her mind around it and possibly even help you determine how to proceed. Part of me wants to say just power through it all and that remaining locked is the most important thing, but the reality is that your mental health is far more important. If the chastity blues are putting you into too much of a low or it's having a detrimental effect on your relationship(s) and career, then it's absolutely okay to push the reset button by taking a 1-2 week break and cumming as your body requests it.
     
  19. amvetsb
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    amvetsb Member

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    With many things in life, if it isn't fun, don't do it...
    That said, I've had holders that actually encourage 'dangle days' where when I'm about to walk out the door to go do something where there's no chance of anything naughty happening, I unlock and as soon as I return home, relock. I've also had one that when she knew I needed to have my mind on something else entirely for a couple of weeks where I was going to be around family all the time, she insisted that I take a month off.. This was after several years of perpetually being locked. There are good reasons for 'taking a break'... For me and perhaps for some others, I enjoy chastity, sometimes I need to be "denied denial". It's a healthy way to mentally, sexually, physically, etc., to simply reset everything and start over fresh. Take some time to get used to not being caged and I promise, will make relocking a task to go through the break-in period all over again.
    I wouldn't suggest that this sort of thing, wearing chastity, is for everyone. Same for those that are into it to not be. Everyone is different and everyone needs to decide what is good and not good for themselves, and in many cases, for the couple.
    SO, in this and your case.... take some time on a routine, like once a week, where you both sit down, take off your hats and discuss where things are, where they've been, and where you want them to go. All couples should have a quality 'quiet time' to just discuss life without anything else getting in the way. For many otherwise healthy relationships with those in a chastity thing or FLR or whatever to just pause everything and just discuss your feelings on chastity.
    I'd imagine about 25% would shoot this down, but it's worth my saying it.
    I'd imagine about 25% would say they've never thought about doing something like this and find it highly appropriate and give it a try.
    The rest, I hope you're already doing it and know what I mean!
     
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  20. masohedo
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    masohedo Member

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  21. billzboats
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    billzboats Member

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    It is confusing to me also. I love the way I think about my wife, and only my wife. She had me brush her hair tonight. Quite a turn on.
     
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