Locked Up -

i've now been locked up since New Years Day and i've had my holy trainer v2 on for 4 days since swapping from the CB6000s which was too bulky for me and the lock was annoying...its totally brilliant, there is no way for me to pull out and as my balls get fuller it gets even harder to move around in it.

my girlfriend loves it too, she said it makes my cock look really cute and she likes that she doesn't have to even think about me playing with myself or trying it on..this didn't start out this way, i was supposed to be in chastity to stop my masturbation but engage more sexually with her; she initially reluctantly agreed and said that's fine but she will always make the first move and unless she doesn't I'm to not bother her... i now haven't come in 3 weeks and we haven't had sex together since new years eve...she shows no signs of wanting to engage with me sexually at all, last night she wanted to cum so she used her vibrator she told me to take a shower whilst she did that....i found it incredibly horny...I really wanna cum but i don't know how to, i get very hard at work sometimes and aching balls, am i causing myself damage, i dont know, i hope not.

tonight im allowed to take it off for a clean of the device and myself, i am getting used to this, she watched me do it and then tells me to sit there and wait til i get soft and put it on, when i swapped devices i had to sit for 30 mins with a bag of ice just to get the HT on, i think it was a mixture of excitement of the new device which didnt help either, she was particularly amused how excited i got when she told me it had arrived...her exact words "i bet you didnt think you could get that excited about locking your cock up did you?", i blushed a little but i couldnt hide my obvious eagerness to take out the device and give it a try

quite a random brain dump, just wanted to share.

 

@jemima i think you are right, my fear is that she is seeing me less and less like her lover and more like her friend...if we take this next step of milking and she likes it and it does the job does this mean she wont want me to penetrate her at all? i still want to dream of being a "man" even though i probably am becoming less and less her idea of a "man"...

 

@jemima thats my fear, my cock is aching in its cage thinking about all this...very confusing feelings right now.

 

thanks for all your comments, this morning before she went out she asked if i was ok and how it was down there, its the first time shes given my device attention since i put the holy trainer device on.

i started to tell her that i felt a bit lonely and really wanted to have sex with her...she told me that she too wants to have sex but that all the times i was masturbating was i thinking about having sex with her? she also said that the times we did have sex she found it really unerotic that i couldnt cum without wanking myself off and she thought it was her fault...now that i have told her about my masturbating and introduced her to chastity to help control things she understands but she is also pissed she says things like she thought she was dating a man not a wanker...this made me really sad and ashamed but she told me thats how i made her feel...and its all my fault not anyone else. i was the one who couldnt stop playing with myself and stopped giving her attention and now that i cant she says its not that easy to justt go back she also said she doesnt want her pussy to be just a cum hole for me.

i totally get where she is coming from, i don't deserve her sexually at the moment and i have to earn the right to be her lover again, she tells me when she goes out after work sometimes other guys flirt like crazy with her to try and get her into bed and she loves the attention and to see guys swooning over her, and it also makes her angry when she wanted that from me and all i was doing was playing with myself and unable to please her...she is really hurt and i have to work to get back with her sexually...

she left me at home to do some jobs and has gone out with a friend of hers, her friend is staying the night with us so i guess no sex or cumming tonight i just hope she hasnt told her friend about our lack of sex life, that would be shameful for me.

 

@BlueEyes I'm afraid I am yes but hopefully it's all for the better.

They just got back I made up her friends room really nicely they both commented on it and my girlfriend gave me a kiss and told me well done maybe I'm learning...that made me feel really good.

She didn't say anything about my device to me and I'm not going to mention it either let's see what happens.

 

Ok I'm getting upset now, last night she told me I was amazing and her friend was really impressed how attentative I was and how I took care of all the other little things (clean up, teas, drinks etc) she gave me a hug and told me that I have earned a release...which obviously got me super excited...she then said I could wank as much as I wanted on Sunday when she is out with her friend and then when she's back I can put the device back on...

This is not that i wanted , I wanted us to get closer emotionally and sexually not just me wearing a device when with her then wanking alone again when she gives me permission...

I couldn't hide my disappointment as I went to sleep...am I wrong?

 

Quick update...she didn't leave the keys and I didn't ask for them...she sent me a text a few mins ago telling me to make sure I'm ready for tonight ... I don't know for what, fingers crossed.

 

So mean @BlueEyes

 

@Caged Wolf thanks for your comments, I do want to get to that stage and make her happy so I'm going to keep trying. You are right at the moment all I want to do is cum, this is the longest I've been locked up without and have read things get worse before they get better...I'll see what happens tonight and update tomorrow. Thanks everyone it's really amazing to come here and vent, and then get feedback that allows me to focus on why I wanted this in the first place.

 

@ineverknew tonight we had sex, it was amazing...before We did I ptold her I don't ever want to cum alone again and especially not play with myself anymore...she kissed me and told me she was proud that I told her and although she is worried chastity may damage my cock (I told her to rest assured I don't want that either and the new device is really comfortable) she loves that I am becoming the man she fell in love with, she then gave me the key and told me to unlock myself, shave, shower and return...I did and we made love, I came so hard I couldn't be quiet and I'm sure her friend who is staying with us heard...afterwards she allowed me to go down on her and tease her whilst she came with her vibrator....it was amazing...she told me I can sleep without my device tonight but to put it back on in the am. She has also decided that I'll remove it every other day for a clean, shave and moisturise...she said she will watch to make sure I don't slip up...

Again she knows me so well whenever I feel this isn't working or is going know where she does exactly what I need...I love her.

We are going to a party in Chelsea next Saturday that I'll like which she arranged she told me its a kinky one and I'll be able to have sex with her on Sunday again if I'm good...

Had to come on here and tell everyone. X

 

@Caged Wolf and everyone else, thanks again for all your comments, it really does mean a lot and helps so much to know there are others like me and also that i am not the only person who wants this long term in their relationship and also that its not just a sex kink but a way of life that is acceptable and not just a joke....I agree that I need to get past the im horny i need to cum mental state, for so long it was im horny, ill have a wank, im ok now...repeat...super selfish i get it.

So an update, tonight she came home and was in a good mood, i had cooked dinner for us as it was the first time we had been alone for dinner since her friend came to stay, she didnt mention anything about telling her friend and she left this morning being pretty normal so thats been avoided successfully...She was impressed with dinner and told me she really loves coming home to a cooked dinner and she can get used to this.

She asked me to run her a bath which i did and as she came into the bathroom she asked to check my device (this is the first time she has done this, normally its locked and ignored til it comes off) i guess because we switched the base ring from the 40 to the 45 as it was a bit too tight on the 40 for sleeping in...and asked me how it was and if im now more comfortable...i find this exceptionally humiliating (which i think she knows) as what am i supposed to say here...my reply "um its ok thanks, really comfortable.." she smiled and said good...and told me to go watch tv....

ill keep this thread updated on the goings on as it helps to just tell people whats going on, even if we dont know eachother physically just venting and communicating really helps me so much...not sure if it should be a blog format or something? or if this is ok to carry on in this thread? not sure....as its turning into more of an update and not a question...? admins any feedback on this...