The reason I started this thread is because I cannot believe the massive pressure I'm now under, and I was so hopeful that June was to be the start of a new more relaxed life. Why can I not live for the moment? I had put such great hope into the fact that after my exams were over I would have more time, be more relaxed, more happy... Now I'm buried under about 20 books on the welfare state which need to be read by the weekend, I'm starting a job to get money because we are suffering, and I need to start my executive PA course asap so that I can have a back up plan when I graduate. Add to that packing the house (and now I think I have to ditch half my lovely furniture to fit it in the smaller place) moving kids schools, etc, etc. I know in the grand scale of things I have my health, I have beautiful children, we have enough money to survive (more than most). Why can't I just get on with what I have, why do I keep thinking NEXT month will be better, and then getting hugely depressed when it isn't! Is there a key to this? Or is it something I will learn when I "grow up"?!
I don't think there is a secret to it, people just have different ways of looking at the world. I'm always amazed and slightly jealous of people you see that have nothing but seem so happy and content with their lives. I sometimes wish I could be like that. I don't have a lot but more than some but feel the same way. I think the difference with people like us is we are always planing for the future and put a lot of effort into work/studies. I'm sure though that one day all the hard work will pay off. It's difficult to stay positive but it's important to try and see a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure you'll be just fine.
MW, I think the reason you're feeling stressed is because you're handling, oh, I dunno, about 10 times more stress than anyone else! lol. A few years ago, when I was finishing up a degree, I was stressed to the max. At the time, I didn't have any financial concerns, no kids, no moving issues. Still, I was stressed. What you're doing is nothing short of heroic. You're working your *ss off! If you were NOT feeling stressed, I'd be worried! lol Be well, and keep on keepin' on. It's great to have goals and dreams, and then to MAKE them happen. You're doing that. Good for you! :anim_37: mikecb
i struggle every day...but a few Sundays ago Pastor put a thought in my head that has been my mantra ever since: "i will not let fear and worry suck all the joy out ot my life!" sometimes just saying that to myself brings a tear to my eye...and i instantly calm down. i also found it helpful to make a list of the things that i am grateful for and review it daily. one step at a time, Mistress Watchful, that's all anyone can do.
Well it now looks like there is a planning issue with the house we are supposed to be buying and the whole thing could fall through.... so if I wasn't stressed enough already, I am now! Thanks guys. Maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel, somewhere, and hopefully it isn't a high speed train heading for me!!!
Hi Mistress Watchful. I hope you don't mind me posting, having only been here a short time. I think it is important to realise that planning for the future is what we do (humans I mean). It is one of the most important jobs that our brains do (I am a neuroscientist). It is perfectly normal for you to be thinking into the future. Life is hectic and studying as well, can make it even worse. But, the study does stop in the end. Moving house will happen. It will be stressful and busy, but it will happen and then be over. I don't think, personally, that it is possible or feasible to live in the moment all the time. We are planners, thinkers, and movers. We like to move forward. If you live in the moment you are likely to miss out on some wonderful opportunities. Having said that, there are times when it pays to just put the mind(plans) on hold and enjoy what you have achieved. Try for just ten minutes at a time. Over dinner, or listening to music, or whatever interests you. Look around and say to yourself "you know, I have done pretty well up to this point" "there are things I would still like to achieve, but bloody hell look what I have already done". Take sometime to pat yourself on the back. Then sit down and read those books or pack those boxes.
Lots of excellent advice Mistress Watchful. I tend to be a cynic, realist or rationalist (take your pick) so I would tell you to consider the facts. People who attain mental peace tend to wander off into the wilderness, spend gobs of time meditating, controlling their breath etc. All of which takes huge amounts of time and effort that is no longer available for raising children, husband tending, house buying, degree obtaining or career enhancement. You will one day obtain the peace you are wanting now, but your aim is in different directions. The only peace you can have now is knowing that you are doing what you choose to do, doing it well and taking the occasional excursion. Some Hindus espouse the course of life that starts with youth, energy, work and raising a family and progresses through community and social involvement and finally ends with religious devotion where the devotee eschews family, work and society disappearing into the woods to live a life of fasting and contemplation. Somewhere along the line he gets to Nirvana. If you want peace, live a simple life. Pretty tough to do in modern society. When I was working I chose a job that gave me the minimum requirements of my physical and social necessities, but avoided too much responsibility and stress. It was still too stressful for me so I retired as soon as it was possible (for me at 59). Everyone said, "what will you do with your time? Won't you be bored?" .....................................Three years later, still waiting for that to happen.
Thank you everyone for your advice. I think everyone is mostly right. It is such a busy time at the moment that I just don't have a chance to see the wood for the trees! I'm sure in a couple of weeks I'll be able to look back and say "wow, look what I achieved" and then I'll be looking forward to spending the next few years ripping a house apart!!!
Hi there, I was just wondering if you have had time to reflect on all the wonderful things that you have achieved. I really hope so.