After some hiccups last weekend, we had a great week. One thing I did learn is that penetration in the cage is not only unenjoyable to him, but also painful... So I guess we won't be revisiting that for a third time. I did also learn a few days later that after following through with what I had verbally said would happen, turned into an amazing show of a two week build up... Exploding from the cage... All at my instruction. It couldn't have been any hotter if I had been watching it from afar. We have had more talks than normal this week, as we try to "find our footing" in all this... But as of now... It's pretty amazing.
You are on the right path. My wife and I would talk about what works or not. She is my loving wife with the emphasis on loving, not sadist. It took us two years to find our groove and now there is no more experimenting or input by me. It is solely my wife's show now. Just take baby steps. Chastity is not BDSM, BDSM is BDSM and chastity can be part of that if that is what you want it to be. For a married couple it should be fun for both. My wife and I are not into chastity so she can dominate me and make me suffer. It is a game of teasing and denial for us and we play by our rules. Either of us can call it quits at anytime, so we make sure neither of us has a reason to do that. Until I see an official rulebook, we will make up our own rules and not try to please other's ideas of what is right or wrong. You should do the same since it sounds that you love your chastity boy. Put love first and all else after. That has worked for us for a very long time of fetish play.