So I will start by saying I'm not complaining, lol I met a wonderful women a year and a half ago. Somewhere in a 6 month period I brought up the topic of chastity. We have a very good relationship, I feel very safe bringing up desires and interests. I told her it was a fantasy of mine to lock my junk up with a device and to have my SO be my key holder.She was all new to this but very willing to try it. She is great at teasing me,edging,ect. However she loves seeing me cum . She likes to watch,be part of it. We can have an arrangement to where I will be in my cage for 20 days and then 4 to 5 days into it she gets horny and wants to play, and wants me to orgasm. I love her more than I can ever imagine loving someone. Our sex is definitely a huge part of our relationship, and I want to serve her and make her happy, but I'm kind of torn about getting out too much,,,Make sense to anyone, LOL
I think at this stage you are lucky to have a SO willing to be a KH. It’s a rare and special gift, and we can’t expect them to just subvert their own desires to satisfy our kinks. If you want to increase the time she wants you locked: 1. Be patient 2. Show her how wonderful her life can be while you are locked by focussing entirely on making her happy. 3. Be patient Good luck.
It sounds like she genuinely enjoys making you happy, and it's likely that she has equated intimacy and making you happy with seeing you orgasm. You may consider being direct and letting you know how much you enjoy staying locked up, and what a turn on it is for you. As RC-Oz said, the bigger picture may be to focus on making her happy. If you can find ways to meet her physical needs without release on your part, you're got the mechanics figured out. The next part is to make sure you're meeting her intimacy needs. You need to make sure she doesn't feel guilty about keeping you locked, manipulated into keeping you locked, or like she's being denied the physical intimacy she is used to. Honest communication and patience are likely the keys.
Just build on what you already are doing. If you can find ways to please her without being released fine. But it sounds like she enjoys seeing you cum, so that is harder to replace without being released. However, you indicate you want to make her happy and as the KH, she decides when or if you get out of the cage. So unless you can show her why you need to be in it longer, I'd let her decide.
Enjoy it while you can! My wife, girlfriend at the time, also enjoyed pleasing me and practically every night would let me out and let me finish. I was totally ok with this, mostly because I am more into loss of control and not so much into denial. As time went on, she began to realize she didn’t NEED to do that(I think women are conditioned to feel guilty or inadequate if they don’t sexually fulfill orgasms, and some actually enjoy watching and are gratified themselves by knowing they are desired). Once this feeling of guilt gradually disappeared, she realized she didn’t need to and we focused on her. Year one was unlocked almost every night and at least had a ruined orgasm, now four full years in, the cage comes off maybe once every few months. One thing to remember for me is going at her pace guarantees that she is totally on board and happy.
What Nicoftime said. Stay locked except when she wants you out. Don’t complicate it. Your relationship is still in the new phase and as th8ngs go on she will unlock you less and less.
I think you received a lot of good advice. I would subtly let her know she does not need to let you out if she does not want to. But, she might really enjoy when you cum and she needs to be in control of that. We are at over two years with the cage and the time in between has increased and my wife slowly lost any guilt about keeping me locked but she has made it clear she loves the feeling when I cum and she saves it until she is really in the mood. She has found that it is more intense the longer she keeps me locked and she loves it. It sounds like you are pretty open in your discussions, why don't you just talk and say it would be interesting for both of us to see how intense the feeling could be if you were locked longer and get her thoughts. Just be very careful that she does not feel you are trying to take something from her that she really enjoys.