Just curious...

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by FlaMistress, Mar 29, 2016.

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  1. FlaMistress
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    FlaMistress Member

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    How long were you and your partner together before chastity was introduced into your relationship? Was there a specific reason it was brought in (infidelity, rekindle intimacy, etc)?
     
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  2. stonie110
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    stonie110 Active member

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    12 years for us. We had a good sex life and relationship but i came across chastity and it was the intamacy why i suggested it to the wife.
    She at first thought i was unhappy but after a lot of talking she agreed to try it and understood why i suggested it.
     
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  3. FlaMistress
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    FlaMistress Member

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    Thank you. I'm trying to understand and figure out my own chastity journey with my fiancé and I think hearing others response to this will give me a little insight.
     
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  4. permanentslave
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    Ours is a long distant relationship and over a year of a growingly deeper friendship and affection for each other online, sharing each others personal and most private kinks, Mistress asked if i would like to try being Her chastity slave. Neither of us excepted it would go so well and for this very long, Going on 4 years now.

    She LOVES the power and i love HER power over me.
     
  5. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    married 15 years. 2 years ago I asked her if she was interested in chastity. I was taking her for granted and not desiring her due to constant masturbation. When I am locked up I am infatuated with her. Im more pleasant to be around and have no problem helping out more to make her more comfortable. Its like a light bulb goes on inside my head :)
     
  6. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    Instantly. It seemed right.
     
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  7. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    My mistress and I have been together for a total of 12 years and married for 6 this year. My mistress and I have always had a great relationship, great communication etc. The reason I asked my wife to become my key holder and mistress was because I was a selfish person. I watched a lot of porn and I masturbated a lot... And I mean a lot. Doing these two selfish acts were disconnecting me from my soulmate as I wasn't giving her the attention she deserves and I felt us slowly drifting apart because I'm an idiot.
    After we'd put our baby to bed we went off to do our own things and enjoy our free time for the night. Mistress would usually read a book /iPhone it or watch tv in the bedroom. I would play video games or watch tv in our living room... Or sneak off. The problem was we weren't together like we should've been paying attention to each other. I would manage to find any other alone time when mistress wasn't around so I could look at porn and do the deed. Consequently what turned me on to chastity was cuckold porn, it wasn't the cuckold part I found so intriguing although I found it quite erotic, but it was the chastity part. I did a little more research into male chastity play and realized how this could benefit both my mistress and I. I confessed to my mistress that I had a porn and masturbation problem and I wanted to stop it and I needed her help. I needed her to become my key holder and be the only one who could allow me orgasms. She agreed I needed to stop my bad habits but she was unsure at first what to think of my request to be in chastity. After I found some good information for her to read and bought a couple of books she began to see the potential benefits and agreed I should be locked up. She was actually really cute the way she she said yes to me. It's been the best thing for both of us, I love being her obedient boy and am just head over heals for her just like when we first met. Mistress seems to be a much stronger more confident woman who has embraced male chastity and I don't see us ever turning back. We're coming up on a year of chastity and we're still discovering new things and our feelings for each other are stronger than they've ever been.
     
  8. keephimcaged
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    Verified Female

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    We were buying some sex toys, hubby had seen some chastity stuff on tumblr and was curious, suggested we added a cage to the shopping list and when we got it, found we loved it!
     
  9. richard
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    richard Just me

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    About 10 years. Before the internet we had played with a leather toy similar to chastity device but it snapped.

    Then when the internet came we saw a Cb2K and gave it a try.
     
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  10. Bound4life
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    Bound4life Long term member

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    Care to share what made her seem really cute. A look in her eye, her being shy about it or something else?
     
  11. Bound4life
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    Bound4life Long term member

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    I have been married almost 11 years. Introduced it to her about a year or more ago. She is not really into it so we only play occasionally and it is me self locking and giving her the key.

    I actually as a young teen I watched Robin Hood men in tights where Maid Marian is in chastity. That had me do an internet search which led to chastity fiction stories Male and female so I have been reading stuff about it for over 15 years.

    I like the idea that when I am locked she has to be the one to initiate sex, PIV or just me giving her oral etc. She feels bad that her sex drive is so low and I don't like to make her feel bad and me asking and her saying not tonight. So chastity would take that away, plus give her the ability to ask for oral or using her dildo more often to tease me. So it may remain a fantasy and she may never initiate it but that is our story.
     
  12. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    My Wife and I have been married for nearly 26 years and together for 29. Last summer I asked her for permission to modify my glans and she let me, but it turned out she was really unhappy with it and the reasons for all the misunderstandings are very complicated. Basically I offered her the idea of chastity as a way of hiding my modified glans and she agreed. This has now developed well beyond our early expectations and has brought us very close together. Without any doubt chastity rescued our marriage.
     
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  13. allaboutHer
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    allaboutHer Long term member

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    Hello FlaMistress.

    We met 20 years ago, have been married 15. I introduced chastity w a CB3K after we had our first child 12 years ago. We had fertility issues that really just about ruined our once amazing (and kinky) sex life. Sex had become a "task" which had to be scheduled, done a certain way, a certain number of times with no spontinaitey or romance. I began to suffer ED because it was such a turn off. Each episode had become a command performance. Plain out, it SUCKED. I was on the internet looking at porn (self pleasure was far more relaxing at this point, but it felt hollow when I knew what I once shared with my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder) and came across chastity play. I bought a device, put it on, sprang the idea on her explained my thoughts to her and we were off. We had many stops and starts due to misunderstandings which are mentioned in other posts I have made and finally got on the same page for the most part just over 4 years ago. Our "sexlife" is extremely intimate now (as much as possible with 2 kids) but very much outside the realm of vanilla. She probably has climaxes 3+ times per
    week and I help her achieve many of them. I however have not had an orgasm of my own in over 2 years yet she keeps me very satisfied. That said, things could always be better but I do and accept what she wants as of our 4 year restart. It is not a game for us it is a lifestyle we enjoy deeply. Anyway, that is our story.

    allaboutHer
     
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  14. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    Hi Bound4life I would love to share because I love talking about this stuff :). After I told her I wanted to be locked up she was still unsure. As I mentioned above I confessed my porn and masturbation problem. So she had that rolling on her mind when I presented her with a book titled Male Chastity one evening after she got home from work. She was sitting on the fence in regards to MC but was excited to read the book, she had a cute nervous smile when I handed it to her. She went into our bedroom to read the short book while I waited on pins and needles in our living room for her. I was too nervous to watch her reactions as she read through the book so that's why I stayed in the living room. About 45 agonizing minutes later she opened the bedroom door. I got off of our recliner and joined her by our bedroom. Her pretty face with her bright eyes said it all, she looked at me with a devilish grin that had just an undertone of shy and nervousness. She said "I want to do this" and told me to order a device. she said she couldn't believe how boys were such dirty masturbators and that I should be locked up.
     
  15. Bound4life
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    Bound4life Long term member

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    Shy devilish grin with a hint of nervousness from the woman you love and adore sounds amazing! Thanks for sharing.
     
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  16. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    Amazing! You're so lucky!
     
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  17. Mistress Lynnie
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    Mistress Lynnie I will be obeyed

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    I am toying with the idea of a device..... Just not sure as I deny him all the time..... .??
     
  18. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    We had been married for about 25 years when, about 5 years ago, She caught me wearing panties and first discovered my hidden love for lingerie. Well, that opened the door to Her introducing me to other bits of femininity, little by little, until it got to the point that I now wear lingerie every day. Along the way, the subject of my chastity came up and I began to practice chastity as a way of honoring her and our relationship. The cage was only introduced about 7 or 8 months ago, when I was having difficulty with wanking while She was away at work. (I'm retired). So, to answer your question, FlaMistress, chastity was introduced about 3 years ago and well before we began using the cage!
    It has really worked well for us. We both get our desires fulfilled and maintain a great relationship as a result.
     
  19. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    Then it seems perfectly appropriate to use one to ensure he never sneaks in a quick release behind your back. Given long enough denial, every man has his weak moments, so a device becomes paramount. It'll be the best decision you've ever made.
     
  20. pokekey
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    pokekey Long term member

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    Great question. I enjoyed reading people's responses.

    I've always been kinky, into cross dressing and bondage. I was with my previous partner for 18 years and told her about this when we were getting to know each other. She was very supportive and we had a lot of fun with play but there was also a way in which she had the breaks on the whole time.

    I discovered chastity way back when AlterBoy's web site was the main source of information. I made my own chastity belt. It was completely secure and too uncomfortable to wear for more than a few hours. Ball trap devices became available and I bought a few but discovered that I would likely be able to pull out of and get back into (penis, not balls) every one. I may have told my partner about this but we never played with the devices.

    I've been with my current partner for nearly 2 years. Again, I told her about my kinky side up front. We often played with some form of bondage and control. At about 1 year in she began to get how it worked for her. I think initially she did bondage play for me. At about the 1 year mark I think she began to understand that I really liked being denied and discomforted and she found she enjoyed teasing me.

    At that point we started playing with chastity by promise. I would not masturbate while were in a series of teasing sessions. I never made a promise to never masturbate. I just didn't want to break up the good flow of our play sessions. So I was on good behavior while we were playing. When the business of life broke up a string of play sessions I would masturbate. Promise alone does not do it for me. My kink is that I like to be unable. To have no choice in the matter. If I was going to be fully under her control I wanted it to be because I could never, ever masturbate myself. That meant getting pierced.

    We started talking about what that would be like. Seemed to excite both of us. I ordered an MCM Contender and spent 1 month in it. She found she liked seeing me in it, liked knowing that she had control, and like the ritual of taking me out and putting me back in. She even took it a step further. She decided that I would not even get to see my penis out of the device. She only let me out when I was tied up and blindfolded.

    Looked like a go for us. Last January I got pierced. I expect to receive an evotion device next week. I figure that in a couple, 6 months, all the healing and little problems will be worked out and there will be little reason for me to be out of the device and maybe to never see my freed penis again.

    Many doing chastity talk about the benefit of increased intimacy. It is difficult enough to talk about our sexual desires. Add stress of life, any conflict in the relationship, or any miss match in sexual desires and it is so easy for sex with your partner to become more stressful than it is worth. That happened with my previous partner. We never had a bad sex life and could talk about desires fairly well. But we had some different desires and could never work out how to link them up in a way that was exciting for both of us. When partner sex is stressful it is very easy to stop and rely on self pleasure. Eliminating the option for self pleasure keeps us engaged with partners.

    Communication with my current partner is great. Could always improve but I think we communicate quite well. I also know that this is helped by the chastity play we have done. And I expect it to be helped even more when I'm securely locked up and have no choice. I've always had difficulty expressing sexual desire. I want to not get what I want. I want to want my partner but not, ever, be able to get her. But I'm afraid that if I express my desire that I will get her. That if I push against that boundary it will collapse. It is exhausting trying to hold that boundary myself. I think my current partner gets that. I also think that being securely locked will make that boundary more solid. No stimulation for me until I'm unlocked. No unlocking until I'm tied. At that point she is in control and is going to enjoy teasing and discomforting me.

    So we stated exploring this as soon as we got together. At about 1 year we started to incorporate chastity. At 2 years I'll probably be securely locked in a device.

    P
     
  21. dereknor
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    dereknor Junior Member

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    Chastity has been part of our relationship from the beginning. I havent cum a single time since I know her, what is 1 year very soon :)
     
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