Interesting weekend...

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mrs Jones, Apr 6, 2010.

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  1. Mrs Jones
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    Mrs Jones Junior Member

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    Hubby has been locked up for some time, now. This weekend I've allowed him out of his cage, off and on, for good behavior and excruciating teasing. I promised him release tonight. Wait, I need to backtrack a bit. An old friend of mine came to visit for the weekend. Though hubby is slowly learning to respect my wishes, we are new to this and he still flounders a bit. Thursday evening I unlocked him for a good cleaning and some exquisite tease and denial, which we both thoroughly enjoyed. Friday my friend arrived. That evening, after friend and I came home from the movies, my husband, in his OLD way, did a little sexual banter with my friend. Not much, but enough for my eyebrow to lift a bit in question. After helping my friend arrange for bed, I calmly led my husband to our bedroom, locked the door, and explained to him that I was a bit upset that he'd committed a direct infraction as to our contract. I explained what he'd done, had him bend over the bed, and gave him a sound spanking. When my hand was tired I pulled out a small whip and finished. Though he was in pain, he apologized and thanked me profusely for guiding him. Last night he painted my toenails, then masturbated me while I watched a little porn and reminded him that tonight would be his night for release and wasn't he excited? I told him that I wanted to ride him and orgasm with him inside me...then I would allow him to take me from behind and relieve himself on my ass. He was very excited, but torn. He decided that he did not want release because he doesn't like the behavior changes he see's in himself for a few days after. He asked that he not be allowed to come, but to satisfy me and deny himself. Well, hubby does enjoy having me this way and, try as he may, he pushed the envelope a little too far, flung himself onto his back with his hands behind his head, and had a minor, interrupted orgasm. He felt horrible and apologized for letting me down. I reminded him that I'd given him permission to orgasm and the only person he'd let down was himself. I am still a bit of a pushover, so I felt bad for him...but at the same time, I'm so very proud of the man he is striving to be for me. I'm curious as to how many others have experienced something similar to this?
     
  2. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    Hello Mrs Jones,

    Your account of your weekend was very similar to Mistress Locksmith & my own, on Friday i was released for a thorough cleaning & was allowed to masturbate in the bath while Mistress sat on the edge relaying to me her nights of passion she had spent with her lover. I had been locked for just two weeks, so gladly took the opportunity & came with the majority of it covering Mistresses arm which she duly wiped all over my mouth & face.
    Although i was very grateful of release, i do not think i was as well behaved as the weekend before & by yesterday (Monday) my manly ego had returned & was all to clear to see. Three weeks is the longest i have ever gone without release & i have to admit to slight feelings of guilt that i could not control the urge to masturbate & remain my Mistresses ideal companion.
    Fortunately for our relationship but perhaps unfortunate for myself, Mistress Locksmith was also dissapointed with my behaviour & although certainly not as bad as how i used to be, she has put 2 + 2 together & pinpointed my change down to being released. Mistress has vowed that i will be kept a lot longer in between orgasms to further my training in good behaviour.
    Thank you very much for this post, i'm sure Mistress will be most interested by it!

    Sissyfrills x
     
  3. johnkelly00
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    johnkelly00 Junior Member

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    The simple solution is to never let your man orgasm. :)
     
  4. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    I to understand you dilemma. Whenever I go without for a long time, the orgasmic let down isn't worth the orgasm at times. Then soon after, I'm thinking why did I go that far, and now have to start over. Currently I'm on a personal record, 76 days with out an orgasm, and only two milkings. Now understand I'm my own KH so self control has a large part also. But part of me wants too badly, the other parts say's to hold out longer, then once I get to that day, I seesaw back and forth, go ahead and do it, or, but I don't want to start over. Catch 22!! You can, but not if you do, and if you don't, we wont let you..

    But now that it's been this long, I find myself not missing it, but then again wanting it again. I am sure if I was told your not ever again, I would just not like it anymore. I have found out with chastity and orgasm denial that given it a break and let the game began again helps keeping the fun in it.

    Sorry if I gotten off the point, but what I was trying to say, I understand you husbands wants and needs. He wants to please you more than himself. Your lucky and hopefully you enjoy it. As I have said before, once women realize the power of chastity and orgasm denial, the worlds in their hands. Us men are silly puddy under those conditions.

    Best Wishes, Missy Tanya
     
  5. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    Hi Mrs J

    It's a difficult one as you are actually whaling the crap out of the one you love, because you love them so it's proper old fashioned "Tough love". There have been a few posts on here from disappointed guys recently who had introduced their wives to this way of life only to find it either fizzled out or suddenly stopped and reading between the lines, I think I can guess at the reasons why. When you first start chastity it's fantastic isnt it - suddenly you are back as the centre of their world (where you belonged all the time), they want to do their best, be the man you want them to be etc etc. Again reading between the lines, I think some wives then think that that's it, Wonderhero is here to stay and they can fire the cleaner :-D

    He isn't and they cant. No woman should EVER underestimate the pull that men's dicks have over them. Chastity is a battle over tens of thousands of years of evolution and we have to do our bit to help them overcome the temptation to continually orgasm - that's the low level animal fight to start off. On an upper level, we also have to support the rewiring of years of social behaviour and Western culture that says "hey, you have a cock, you are master of the universe, get out there amongst those lucky women and be a hero". A few weeks in a plastic tube is a great start but it does take maintainence and this is what you are doing by giving him a damn good hiding for unwanted behaviours so well done you. Men, children, horses, dogs - they all need firm boundaries and to know that threats of punishment are far from empty ones. That takes a lot of energy, thought and discipline from your side too and I think thats where a lot of 24/7 FLRs start to crack under the strain.

    I covered this in an earlier post but it's worth repeating here. There is a difference between punishment and discipline and - in my view and in our marriage - we ensure that we are both clear on which is which. If a sub thinks that punishment is part of play, then it's being done incorrectly which encourages bratty, attention seeking behaviours so that he can top from the bottom and get his own way. I make sure my hub really fears punishment - it's very rare and so much so that we have created a role play character to administer it who he gets "sent to" when he has REALLY pissed me off with behaviour that we both agree is wrong. Oddly, that also helps me separate my feelings too as when I get into character, I dont feel badly about punishing him - he has a safe word too which is important here to ensure that he feels safe and it is all safe, sane and consensual.
    Discipline is a re enforcement of his submission and a re-affirmation of the behaviours that I want from him. We had a session on this the other day (hubs blog impending so youll get his side of the story) because he had started to slip into behaviours that really undermine our relationship. Firstly, he gets very negative about things which I find really wearing. I am an optimist by nature and just cant see the point of constantly looking for (almost looking forward to) the next thing that could go wrong. Sometimes its like having your own personal black cloud, pissing down on everything we are attempting to build together. I also cant stand what we Brits called Cant be arsed. This ranges from not picking up after himself to not doing stuff properly because it takes a little extra effort (so then I have to do it). I had an absolute gutful after a particularly bad weekend of this so told him in advance that he would be getting a discipline session based around these two behaviours this involved two separate pieces of BDSM humiliation equipment (a nose hook and a mouth hook / bit) and a difficult stress position that he was made to hold and reflect on his behaviour and recount a few instances where this behaviour had been exhibited. I havent needed to whale the shit out of him (this is always small but cumulative stuff) but I will run another session if I have to so that he pulls himself up when he is starting to be negative or lazy. I will also only use these two pieces of kit for these reasons so that the association is very clear in his mind. He wants to make me happy and be a better man for my part, I correct the behaviours that make me unhappy and damage our relationship. Man, I bet your husband is going to hate me for this post :0D
     
  6. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Celtic Queen great post as always from you. i hope you don't mind me chopping it up a bit.

    i remember oh not so long ago when Mistress Michelle taught me this very thing. Your description of it is almost word for word what MM told me. There must be a Mistress manual somewhere that i am just gonna have to find. She had me chain myself to the front door with the nipple clamps while kneeling in a pan of rice. i could think of nothing i had done to deserve this *punishment*. When Mistress was done i ask her what my transgression was for the punishment i had received. It was then that she explained to me that wasn't punishment rachel that was discipline. It was just to help you keep your focus and keep you in a proper state of mind. Who knew? i have since that day been properly punished with a switch and Lordy what a difference there is. MM has this thing that for lack of a better term i will call mental punishment where though you know you are about to be punished she won't just get on with it but will let you to wallow in your state of disappointment. The look on her face just screams I AM REALLY PISSED AT YOU RACHEL. Then she does nothing. i find this time actually worse then the punishment. All i want her to do is get on with it and she just doesn't. Luckily for me i have only saw this look 3 times and i don't like it one iotta. Now don't get me wrong i don't like that switch one bit either but i know once i have been punished it is over and Mistress will smile and have pride in her sissy again. It's like she uses the switch to turn my sissy switch back to the full on position.

    MM's sweetpea
    rachel
     
  7. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    Mrs Jones,

    i wish i could comment on this from a practical standpoint, but at this point i have not had the experience. i will share my heart though as it seems to be a pretty good guide at times. i agree with Celtic Queen and realize what rachel is saying to be true as well.

    All relationships are different and how the incorporate chastity, punishment and discipline. i was by no means an alpha male and am definitely am not even close to be an alpha female. my little head rarely had the opportunity be in charge so to speak and i am not driven by sexual release or the frustration of not having it. It is about control and what i offer in the form of my submission.

    i fear failure more than anything and once i have relinquished control on my own free will, trust that She will guard it and look out for my best interests with Her being the focus of my attention. i also fear punishment, not because it might be painful, but because i will know that i have failed to the point that She had to take the time and do something that is unpleasing for Her as well. Whatever form punishment takes, it should be something that wants to be avoided at all cost. i am already fearful of the day when or if it becomes necessary for this to take place. i am human, and am vulnerable to slip into undesirable behaviors that may need to be brought to my attention and understand how displeased She might be. i am hopeful that this never takes place, but know if it does, i will be ever fearful of it.

    Discipline on the other hand is much like Celtic Queen and rachel have shared. something that is ongoing and used as reinforcement of Y/your commitment to the relationship and boundaries that are set. It can take many forms, but should be a labor of love on Your part and something that he will reflect upon and realize the wisdom and strength in Your lead. It might be difficult for him to endure, but will strengthen and deepen the relationship. i don't have the answers on the form it might take as each relationship is different, but i am sure You will find something that works for You to help keep him focused. This lifestyle takes a lot of trial and error and it is ever evolving.

    i hope my two cents helped in some small way.

    cynthia
     
  8. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    Thank you!
     
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