I Think She’s Coming Around

That’s a good point. Maybe I’ll try explaining it that way.

Also, I’ve decided that self locking while traveling would be a good idea, so I ordered a cherry keeper. Ultimately, I want a jailbird (I mean really ultimately, I’d like to go with a PA and corresponding device or a behind barz full belt, but I don’t know if she’ll ever get there), but this seems like a good option to test out some self locking while gone and won’t set off metal detectors.

 

So...since I think the cage I ordered to try to self lock while we’re apart is coming today and I don’t want to hide anything from her, I decided I needed to have a conversation with her last night. It didn’t go great.

She’s still nowhere near comfortable with holding the key. At least I think that’s the case because she answered everything with one word answers. I did tell her she doesn’t have to do anything or even know it’s there and it’s just to help me stay focused on her while we’re apart so I don’t slip up and masterbate. I told her I love her, she is my world (which is the truth), and I don’t want that part of my life to ever occur except when we’re together. I asked her if she understood and she said yes. I also asked her again to please tell me her thoughts when she has them and she agreed. I felt like I was making her uncomfortable, so I apologized for that.

I know there’s more on her mind than one word answers even if it’s a surprise in the moment. I also know our extremely repressed upbringings make it hard for her to let those thoughts out.

I guess at least she didn’t tell me she doesn’t want me to self lock either. I kind of look at it as an extra wedding ring. The one on my finger reminds me to stay away from sex with other women. The cage will remind me to stay away from self pleasure.

 

I suppose it’s been so long I could start a new thread, but I think the time span this thread covers is helpful for others in my situation.

After the last time I posted, my wife sent me an email that broke my heart. She basically told me she wanted nothing to do with this and that I was wrong for wanting it, citing Bible passages. I pretty much gave up. Things in the marriage got worse and worse and came to a head last DEC. I actually moved out for a few months and thought it was over. Thankfully, she forced me to counseling. The counselor challenged her to take chances and be more adventurous. I finally began to see hope when she agreed to take a no notice vacation. I saw a spark of adventure in her and then things got better. While chastity was a very small part of the things we worked out, we were able to reconcile and I moved back in just before quarantine.

At that point, she agreed to me wearing a cage and her holding the key as long as she didn’t have to be “mean” to me. It’s mostly to make sure my only sexual outlet is her and no masterbation is possible. She says if I asked for sex, she wouldn’t deny me because her drive is low. However, with the quarantine and then a move, everything was put on hold.

Now that we’re all settled, I got an MM Jail Bird and started getting used to it. I did have to send it back for some adjustments though. However, I have reconfirmed that she is still willing to hold the key as long as I don’t expect her to deny me. She said yes. I’m looking very much forward to getting the cage back and getting started. I’m hopeful that she will realize the benefits and come to see this is so much more for her than anyone.

If anyone else has lost hope, all I can offer is this can take a lot of time. I first brought it up in December of 2017 and it looks like I’ll be handing her the key in late OCT 2020. Don’t lose hope.

I’ll update more on the progress once I receive the cage back again.