I need help to get my wife to understand

In my experience this is true for all the best submissives, whatever their gender.

We all seek balance in our lives, and that fits the pattern..

The common stereotype is that of 'a doormat', but such people are simply boring.

When I was a junior engineer working on minor components I went out and became a Councillor.

When later I chaired meetings, took minutes at key meetings, a major people role, I made stuff in the garage.

So if you want your wife to be your keyholder and Mistress, and she has a humble role outside the home.

Then taking control may help balance her life as well. But be wary if she has to be the boss at work too.

 

Hello,

I don't agree fully, as it might be that sex is part of the problem, maybe because the man wants to have more sex than she wants and that even doing activities which doesn't include sex could lead to the thought "oh my god, he's just doing this to prepare sex".
So basically it could be that we are getting the opposite result of what we intended "I want to please you, which pleases me" (and to be honest, yes sex would also please me but is something different and happens less frequent).
I started to reprogram myself like this:
I want to make her feel supercomfortable in a consistent way. She will like this and has no fear to "request" more as I am proving that I do so, not to get a special result but just because of her.

I think it's not that hard to get into a FLR if doing to things:
1) please her because you love to do so, not to get special results (so that she follows your agenda)
2) have some fun on the way
3) communicate

Example:
She said, that she would love to get a massage, I replied "I think you should just request it" and give her a smile. "It's super simple. Text me: 'Wish: massage'".
A few minutes later I got a message "Wish: Massage NOW". We had a great time and she said, this feels so comfortable like beeing together with a new man.
;-)
Even more because it is not (just) about sex.
After the message she asked/"ordered"me to make her something nice to eat

I have communicated clearly that I love to make her feel good and that I think nothing is wrong if she is in charge. Currently I think that we progress very fast into a FLR.

Regarding the locking thing, I just don't think that she will like it and maybe think that I am somewhat "strange".
Additionally I like the idea that I keep my hand from myself because she requested it.
Which she didn't do yet, but I had already a talk with her, that I think that I have much more focus for her, if I stay away from "helping myself".
If she also feels the benefits, I am pretty sure that she wants me to be exclusiv for her.

I'm just surprised how staying "NoFab" changes the attitude of a man (or at least me).

Piet

 

Just leave the poor woman alone, clearly it's not her thing. Enjoy what you can solo and hope its enough to see you through. I'm guessing this was not something on the menu when you first married her? She's not going to change and be happy.

 

I agree that it doesn't make any sense taking the agenda/wishes of a man and "convince" or "seduce" a woman to do something.
Totally wrong and has nothing to do with what I understand is a FLR.
Actually it's more that I am "using" a woman to make her please my needs.
The approach should be: I want you to feel comfortable and I love to please you.
Important: you means really the specific woman (Name) and not "any" woman.
If a man feels that it feels so great (for both) just to give her a 1hr foot massage and nothing more, I am sure that she will lose her fear or whatever it is, becoming more self confident to ask and request what is good for her and a FLR should also be about the woman and never/ever about the man.

But doesn't the word solo and FLR doesn't fit together? If I look at my special needs this is the evidence that I am not yet ready satisfying a woman in every need, but it's more like having a special fetish*

* -> nothing (!) wrong with this, but it's something different than FLR (R -> Relationship).

If "she" is not submissive and "he" is still recognizable as a man, why shouldn't she "change"? Change is not a change in personality (!) it's more a change in communication and self awareness (she knows what she wants and she has the right to make him supporting her, getting what she wants).

Piet

 

TBH bruv, this sounds more like MLFLRTDRWTPYG
male led female led relationship that doesn't want to play your games.
The lady aint leading,

 

I agree, but wasn't this exactly what I was saying?
I got the feeling that you disagree what I wrote but MFLRTDRWTPYG (nice term ) is exactly what I would never do.

So to me we are all on the same page.

Piet