How to start a long term relationship with a women who doesn't know much about femdom or fetishes?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Naveen, Feb 27, 2022.

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  1. Naveen
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    Naveen Member

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    Hi,
    Im curious about starting a relationship with a girl who doesn't know much about femdom or related fetishes (if she knows whats that , fine but lets assume she doesn't have much knowledge about it).

    how can i educate herself about femdom and chastity or related fetishes and get her in to a flr or femdom or even become a switch and to be kinky as possible. Can i know Any ideas or real experiences ♥️
     
  2. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    Slowly at first. Gently always.

    I’ve “corrupted vanillas” before. You take your time, never push. Start with baby steps and let her go at her pace. Keep her curious and wanting to learn more.

    finally MAKE IT FUN. The more fun and enjoyment she has the more she will want to learn and try,

    And never ever push. Don’t beg. Don’t be a whiney bitch. Instead be kind, supportive and a gentleman.
     
  3. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Talk to her. As @tomf_22033 says, small steps. Ask if she wants to tie you up one night, or spank you, then get more adventurous. And find out what she wants too - you never know.
     
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  4. lovetohearno
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    lovetohearno Active member

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    Always stress the importance of having fun. It needs to be fun for both of you. Take it slow and gentle. My wife went from plain vanilla to denying my orgasms, slapping and squeezing my balls, twisting my nipples, she had no idea she could enjoy a bit of sadism in bedroom! Best of luck and have fun!
     
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  5. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    And... Remember to explain what a safe word is
     
  6. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    As long as you have the knowledge.. guide her slowly.. but most important let her lead.. hint her some direction.. let her explore her innerself.. you will be surprised that she knows more than you.. my wife was the nicest sweetest girl who could not even decide the colours of curtain when we married… now she is my penis key keeper, earns a living for our household, decides how she is to be pleasured and keeps me nude and caged..
     
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  7. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    make it fun
     
  8. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Talk to her. You can't make people share your link. She's either going to be interested in it or she isn't. Her choice.

    Good luck, hope it goes well.
     
  9. WIFEYSsissy
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    WIFEYSsissy Member

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    I bought my Wife/Mistress Elise Suttons book which she loved we have been together 18 years now married for 10 its not all been plain sailing but slowly mistress is finding her feet and i am loving it .
     
  10. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    The good thing is that women are far more likely to try new and kinky stuff at the beginning of a relationship. Start with it as a "scene" while playing and don't try to sell it as a lifestyle. If she takes to it you can expand it beyond the bedroom. You can use the cage for a day or weekend or tell her you are locking up a few days before you get together. If you get a timer box (kitchen Safe) you can send her a pic with the keys locked and timer set for when she arrives and then she can take the keys until she is ready to unlock you. Make it fun and DON'T over whelm her!
     
  11. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Long-term lockee

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    In my experience, this doesn't work.
    I tried numerous times, and failed.
    I then decided that I wouldn't start another relationship unless it was with someone who had the same goals and desires (kink-wise) as I do.
    So far, it's been the best decision I ever made.
     
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  12. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    You could be right.. its naive to enter and commit a relationship hoping and thinking that the person may change later.. its best to embrace him/her for who he is.. baby steps do work.. but never extreme changes.. unless circumstances dictate.. or if the pull/push factors are strong in necessitating changes..

    My wife never suck my dick from the beginning.. i gave her lots of oral orgasm since courtship.. fast forward 15years later.. she still didnt suck.. im still oralling.. and rimming her.
     
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  13. madams-sissysub
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    I agree! make it fun!
     
  14. shannonsanders
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    shannonsanders Long term member

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    Find someone with an open mind, is curious, and has a positive attitude about sex. Once you know these things to be the case, it is much more likely she will accept your quirks and/or find them fun. If you expect understanding, you should be willing to be understanding as well. There is a huge stereotype that women aren't kinky, but this isn't true - they may not be fixated on your junk the same way you are - but there are many who like the attention that can go along with a little kink.
     
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  15. Antipater
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    Antipater Active member

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    The next time you do a "Netflix and Chill" with her, turn on "Love and Leashes". Watch her reactions, ask her opinions, and then decide whether and how to bring up your own desires with her.
     
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  16. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Long term member

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    one thing most xxs learn about xys it is all about them. when they try to be supportive or submissive it is about them. even with your posting her education is about your fetishes. maybe, just maybe make it about her pleasures, her desires and she might find being in control the best option available. i did!
     
  17. cagedfellow
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    cagedfellow Long term member

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    If you are at the beginning of your relationship, why not just tell her your desires and kink? This is also the best time since you start on a blank page, nothing to hide, nothing to discover and no bad surprises.

    This does not mean that she will be open but at least, you will have been frank. You will then find if you have the personalities to go a long way together.

    If you've been together a while, still, be honest. The bite may be more difficult to take, but nothing more difficult than learning that our spouse has unconfessed secrets. Because buried secrets, I believe, will manifest in other less pleasant and more disconcerting ways.

    That's a lesson I earned the hard way to myself.
     
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