Hello all, I am hoping that I will be accepted and welcome in this community. My circumstances differ to some but may feel familiar to some also. I am a submissive, married man in my late forties, fit and in good health with a wonderful, loving wife and a daughter now working away. We've been together for 14years, both our second marriages and married for four. I have always had problems with ED since being very young and, as such have never had a traditional relationship with sex. I've aways wanted to be submissive to a woman or couple and never been comfortable requesting anything sexually. When my wife and I first met we had the conversation about my ED and have managed to maintain a reasonable level of intimacy in our relationship over the years. When we met I also told her about the things that I found exciting, that represented my sexuality. Simple things like clothing and silver jewellery to chastity, in the hope it might lead us to a more fulfilling relationship. We recently had a genuinely heartbreaking conversation that I thought might end in us splitting up. As life goes on I want to explore my sexuality and understand how things could feel. After many long conversations since, we have agreed that the conversation of anything other than vanilla mutual masturbation if off limits and that I will have to forge my own path of discovery. I have self locked in chastity for many years, when my wife is out enjoying the feeling of the cage, the embarrassment and the sense of humiliation. I wear my wifes panties also but have no sense of where to go with any of this and felt that this sort of forum might at least help me to understand myself better. Thanks all
I hear you man, similar age and ed issues. You might want to hold off on the women's underwear thing imo. I assess that both this and bringing in 3rd parties are very niche and dangerous to your intimacy with your significant other. The chastity thing on it's own... and all the adventures that come after... if yours is as cool as my mistress, every chance that could work.
Welcome to CM. Your situation is not easy. Do you feel you can stay with your wife if you are able to fulfill her desires, even if yours are not addressed? If so then I would focus all your energy on the needs of your wife and let her drive the relationship. If she likes you wearing your cage then this could be a good long term solution.
Thank you all for your welcome and intros. Much appreciated. The ED issue is one that I have experienced my whole life and I have never really had proper intercourse with any partner. Over the last six months or so I have noticed a marked improvement in my ability to become aroused and maintain an erection with support from HIMS an online medication supplier. I have simply stumbled upon the right combo of medication. Despite the erectile improvement, I have no interest in sex with my wife, in taking charge or in being the alphas male. I am and always have been submissive and that hasn't changed just because of physiological improvements. My wife has not interest in anything that is not extremely traditional in the bedroom, and in the bedroom it stays. I love her with all my heart and my only option has been to speak regularly to an online Dom but not a Dom-Brat who just wants my money. Somebody who is understanding, supportive and listens. I get the thing about keeping chastity separate from the panties and alike but they go hand in hand for me. It is the submission of placing myself in chastity, panties and sometimes my wifes jewellery to just be in that space for a time, on my own or on cam. The only way I can get that sense of humiliation, and that's ultimately what I think I need, is in this way. Does that sound very different?
I think you'll find acceptance here. Everyone is different and I haven't heard any judgement from anyone. This is a unique place. Either that, or folks into chastity are very unique people. Silly question, I bet, but there are all sorts of a) drugs, b) surgery, c) sonic treatments and such for ED. Have you tried them, and none of them work? Is it related to anxiety. There's drugs for that too? Are you able to masturbate? Is it that you only can do that semi-hard? Does your wife get frustrated, or has she checked out of the sexual stuff, hence telling you you're on your own? A submissive husband can be difficult for many women. Are you submissive because of your ED? Or are you submissive before that even gets into the picture. Is your wife satisfied with Oral, and toys, or simply uninterested. Don't both answering if the stuff is too personal. I'd just say that it's ok for your wife to be on her own journey too. A marriage is hard work. Every day is something new. It's also a partnership. A successful marriage, both partners can work together. and they have mutual goals. Hope your journey is happy and productive. There is a lot of help here.