Hi, My boyfriend and I are new to this lifestyle. He is submissive and he wants to be my slave cuckold before our wedding, which is scheduled for next year. This past september 15, I closed his chastity belt of the type birdlocked and I have a gold chain around my neck with his key. He boasts about it with his friends and he encourages me to have sex with them but I am not yet decided to do so. I'm trying to learn about corporal punishment and chastity. Kind regards. Claudette
Enjoy and welcome here. You'll find all sorts of ideas in the posts. Whether you have sex with any of his friends is surely your choice. Meanwhile, just keep him locked up! LOL!!!
Hi Claudette, Your post made me a curious as I'm new to this fetish world too and been reading loads in this forum and outside to make sure that I'm going in as level headed as I can. I'm like you - I'm the key holder and carry the key around my neck which I love. My boyfriend introduced me to this and I really want to marry him ( been together for 8yrs) . He expressed that the whole cuckold fetish really turns him on and would like us to explore that life style. I don't feel ready for this and I'm not sure I will ever be. Role playing and fantasising as a mistress, yeah! And I really get a kick out if it but don't feel I can do more than that... So back to you... How do you feel about your boyfriend's request to fuck his friends?? And more to the fact you will marry him soon. What goes in your head? I would really love to see your reply
Since we began our engagement, my boyfriend had asked me to have sex with his friends but I never accepted. A few months ago, we had a heated discussion and he told me that he was submissive. I understand his sexual fantasies, I have also fantasies though not of this kind. I've tried to please him in his games of submission but he demands more and more violence and I do not like. I'm confused, lately I'm using, unwittingly, domination games in our relationship. I understand that my boyfriend want me to have sex with other men while he is in chastity. I have read that this is a very common fantasy in the men, I also read that many women like to have sex in front of her husband or boyfriend. But is not one of my sexual fantasies. I have not thought about having sex with his friends but I do have fantasies with some of them while I masturbate and my boyfriend knows. Wedding proximity is an incentive for him and he fantasizes about our wedding night and his friends. As you can see I'm confused with my situation. Kind regards. Claudette
Claudette For cuckolding to work in a marriage, both need to feel ok with it. Are you sure you have the right partner?
Ms. Claudette, I am aware that this is a thread for Mistress's, I just wanted to confirm Mistress B and Joroincharge viewpoints. As for your boyfriend/fianceses feelings, he surrenderes those thoughts to you when you accept his key. What his wants or fantasies are are no longer his choice, but yours, if you chose to pursue that form of a female led relationship(FLR). He is trying to top from the bottom, or telling you what he wants you to do to him. Naughty boy!!! That's not how submissives are allowed to behave. Since you are just starting out, you need to explain this to him. It takes "two to tango" in a femdom lifestyle, but there can only be one boss, and that is YOU. The Mistresses on this wonderful site may suggest a spanking or whatever punishment is in order, and they will guide you through being in charge. Once the submissive is fully aware of how things will be decided and to what extent the lifestyle proceeds, you have "won the battle" of doubt that we all feel when starting out. If I have overstepped my bounds, I apologize to all of the Mistresses on this thread, just trying to offer a submissives help to a new member of the Mansion. I made a indescretion, and I now realize my wife/Mistress knows what is best for US. dickieinbraces
I agree with dickieinbraces, he cannot ask you to be in change and then ask you to full fill his fantasy, and this in only my advice and don't take in the wrong way but take it very slow when bringing a third person into the relationship. .. Spider202
I love my boyfriend and I want him to be my husband but he has not been my first man, I even had sex with several men at once but I like to be faithful in my relationships. I'm not confused by the thought of having sex with his friends. Quite possibly I will have sex with all of them soon. One of them even know me "intimately", he was one of my previous relationships. Nor I am confused in the game of female domination, I like to dominate him. I'm confused by the intensity of his fantasies and his demand for more and more violence. Kind regards. Claudette
Thanks for your suggestion. It is sometimes convenient to listen to others. In my country it is said that is learned more by listening that by talking. But the solution is not punishment, he always demand more punishment and more violence. Kind regards. Claudette
It sounds to me like you don't feel very comfortable with his suggestions and what he want you to do. Please don't "give in" just to keep him or make him happy because if you really don't like what he wants you to do it will eat away at you and resentment will build. If he really loves and respects you he will allow you to take things at your own pace and not force you to do anything you feel uncomfortable with or things you don't really want to do, whether that's in kinky life or normal non kinky life. I have a few old friends who did things "just to keep their partner" over the years and saw the results of the resentment afterwards. At the end of the day it's entirely up to you two what you do in your relationship, however, from reading your posts i'm genuinly concerned that you are being pushed into something you don't want to do and that is not fair on you. At least tell him to calm down a bit and take things slowly so you can find your feet and, hopefully, you can build your confidence in this new lifestyle your embarking on and can build on that together where you are comfortable in the things you do. Yes cuckolding Is a great fantasy for some, however, the reality can be totally different especially in males (it's not my thing for the record) and sometimes they can't handle the fact that their partner has been with someone else and jelousy and resentment can set in. I'm not saying your boyfriend is like that however it can be an unexpected consequence of fulfilling this type of fantasy and, once again, will not be fair on you taking the flack for doing something he wanted. Sorry if this sounds like a lecture but these are things that people have gone through in the past even if it did seem like fun at first. I sincerely hope you both can work something out where your both comfortable and enjoy this lifestyle.
Great advice .. Just what I needed as well as I'm in the exactly the same position as Claudette.. Would be great to get support from all in the mansion.
A lot of deep thought but cuckolding needs a very deep relationship and even then can destroy it leaving all parties confused. Whilst the odd multi-way fuck appeals to some it is not the same as cuckolding, and it is a day-dream many guys have as well as some women. Partners who want to be treated with heavy levels of violence are perhaps more 'damaged' in a previous life than they can consciously accept. Reperated beatings etc can turn a mind from hating to loving the experience as it is the only 1-2-1 attention they have known. The problem then descends a generation and can manifest itself on your off-spring. It is all quite dangerous ground. Add in that should you do serious harm at his request he may describe you as the 'beater' whether at his demand or not is that how you wish to se yourself? I think not. Any 'correction' should be accompanied by huge amounts of tenderness and the spanking should only be a few blows before the caring carress etc not an all out assualt to do damage. Lots to learn. If he is just after a mind numbing level of 'correction' perhaps he is not the right guy for a long term relationship. If you are The Mistress then you call the tune, you decide the outcome and your decide the degree of administed correction. You do it in your way and that way MUST be one that you can live with. It absolutely must NOT let his desire for more severe correction fuck with your head, if you start down the road of doing something because you are told to do so; you are not the controller, YOU have become his SLAVE to do with as he pleases. Get the roles sorted out, take no shit from your man telling how it should be, you tell him exactly how it WILL be, if you loose him so what? You survive and life goes on. Give in and you will be manipulated into further and more extreme behaviour and I do not think you want that. All that goes on in this place is for fun and mutual enjoyment for both participants. If what you are being requested to do is worrying you, and clearly it is, then get out of the situation and move on.
Picking up on ashplaything and Lustleigh Cleave's comments, if your fiancé's pushing for more and more violent and destructive fantasies, it might be time for him to sit down with a good therapist - particularly if what he's asking for worries or scares you. There is a difference between sexual submission/masochism, and actually wanting someone to hurt you, and if he's on the wrong side of that line, you need to speak up. Its one of your responsibilities, both as his dominant and his girlfriend/lover/wife. In fact, a little premarital counseling never hurt anyone. Its widely available, if you know to ask - any good therapist, counselor, religious leader . . . pretty much anyone who does marriage counseling offers it. The two of you sit down with an expert, and try to exorcise some personal demons before the big day. Now that the practical side is taken care of, there are a couple of games you could play without cuckholding (or throwing an orgy). Playing to the cuckhold fantasy, you could leave him home while you and some female friends go out clubbing together. You dress to impress, while he has to stay home and imagine what you're up to. Bonus points if you can (safely) tie him up, so that he has nothing to do but fantasize . . . possibly with his favorite porn playing in the background. You don't actually do anything with another guy . . . so if he can't handle it, there's no harm, no foul. Another possibility is getting a strap-on dildo. Take him to a sex shop, and together pick out a strap-on. In this game, he'll wear the strap-on to make love to you, while still locked up in his chastity device. He gets to see you having penetrative sex "without" him, but without bringing in a third party. Bonus points if you go to a sex shop in another town, and thus don't have to be discrete - you can even openly tell the clerk that you're looking for a replacement for him, because he's locked in a chastity device (assuming you two are into that) A variant on this idea is to go with one of the "branded" strap-ons. The two of you watch, oh, a porn film starring Ron Jeremy, and then he makes love to you using a dildo modeled off his actual penis. As a side benefit to using the dildo (either scenario), is that he gets to practice pleasuring you, without worrying about losing his erection (so - ideally - he'll be better with his actual penis).
Dear friends I have a problem. My boyfriend does not want to have sex with me and he will break our courtship if I refuse to have sex with his friends. I have punished him severely but he does not want change his mind. Any idea to solve my problem? Kisses Claudette