I've been into kink on and off and would classify myself as a kinkster with the occasional dabbling in D/s. Met this wonderful girl whom I connect with on every level, but she's super vanilla (still a virgin, believes in sex after marriage etc). She's not a prude but just hasn't has these experiences and is curious about sexuality. I've brought up my bdsm experiences - not in great detail - and she's unfazed. Does anyone have an experience of going from vanilla to kink, mild or hardcore? Id love to hear experiences, blogs, reading material etc. realistic stuff not wank fodder. She has often mentioned how she likes to be in control so likely Dominant is what her role would be.
Not from that perspective. Unusual one this. Could work well, but IMO take things VERY slowly! If she's a natural (could well be) she'll pick it up on her own.And if she's virgin and with views you say then she might very well want you restricted too. Could make a great KH! Maybe tell her you've had the prior gf or two but are OK with no more while you're with her and if she wants security, then .....
Thanks for the insight! I hope she's a natural but I'll take anything I can get! The "security" angle is a good one. I'm used to sleeping with someone in like the third or fourth date, perhaps I could frame it as her being in control of the sexual part based on her comfort levels and how far she wants to take it, without feeling the pressure from someone more experienced.
Er, yeah. My Wife. Married in a mostly vanilla relationship for 25 years and in the last few months my Wife has gone from slowly going off sex as she started her menopause to going a bit power crazy. All I did was start wearing a chastity device and give her the keys as an apology for something I had done that upset her. For six months a few fun and interesting times occurred. Now, in the past few weeks she has started teasing me on an almost daily basis and really gets off on how turned on by her I am. On Saturday I licked her bottom while she used her Wand Massager against her clit and had the first ever orgasm from a vibrator. Then she held the massager against my bottom, mesmerized by the way I responded to what she was doing. Another recent incident was when she stood on my penis while I did my German language exercises and told me off for each one I got wrong. She has paddled me, makes me epilate my legs and has bought me women's clothes and wants me to go out with her in stealth cross dressing outfits. She has bought an aneros prostate massager which she has been teasing me with that she is going to use it although it hasn't happened yet. I have to say that I agree with @Joroincharge that you have an amazing opportunity here but definitely go slow. Your girl doesn't believe in sex before marriage but you struggle with your desires and want some help. She can help you simply by holding a key. The key to your heart and desires. The key to a chastity device that you wear as a symbol of your commitment. The trick is making it into something that isn't just a lock and forget scenario. It could make just being kissed by her a very interesting experience for both of you and should you end up getting married your wedding night could be epic.
Wow, that's a wonderful situation @jasminc68. It's great that your vanilla wife took to it so well. As you guys say, I'm goign to go *really* slow with her. I really don't want to force my fantasy on her, but am hoping that I present it in such a way that she finds the idea hot. She's kinda hinted that guys have a stronger sex drive than girls, and that masturbation when in a relationship, especially when watching porn, is disrespectful to women. I'm hoping to build on these thoughts. She's a very sweet girl though, so I'm guessing whatever she would do might be pretty mild, but it'll still be a lot of fun. I hope it goes well! the wedding night could indeed be epic.
@Giles_English sure I'd love to learn more. An exciting thing happened the other night... After a lot of foreplay and when I was super excited, and after getting her off, I gave her a choice.. Either get me off now or wait till the weekend and keep me horny for her. I think she was a bit confused .. she kept asking me what I wanted, and I told her whatver turns you on more. Anyway so she smiled, said weekend, and teased for a bit. So off to a good start
We were in our early twenties when I approached my current wife about this. We are, and in particular she is, pretty vanilla. IIRC she had no idea about these devices and it seemed really weird. I would guess that juxtaposition of crossdressing, leather and other fetishes make it look like a bigger step than it has to be. It can just be fun and I focus on that at the beginning.
*puts hand up I was very vanilla, though pretty open minded, before my husband got his hands on me. Embarrassingly, looking back, I'd never even masturbated (very religious background and just low self image). He's mostly Dom though, so a lot of it was him teaching me to be kinky at first. However we love orgasm denial and he used that to open me up to try all kinds of things. I was rarely allowed to cum but had to edge every day. It was quite transformative! We actually held off till our wedding night as we decided it was a great way to force us to enjoy everything else, and I don't regret that at all. My blog talks more about it but feel free to ask about anything.
I know what you mean, the church is very good at making you feel like a sinner. For if you did not feel like a sinner why would you go back.