FLR, Domestic Discipline and Chastity

There seems to be a lot of post recently about FLR, Domestic Discipline and Chastity. Instead of hi-jacking everyone's thread here's our take on it all.

It started with DD. It was pressure relief, we both had a lot of stress at work and at home and we thought that having to answer to your actions (or lack of them) with a spanking would (a) give us some kink time; and (b) less shouting and bad feeling. We set our goals each week and were measured against their success on a weekly basis. My wife was deemed as the Head of the Household and made sure we set goals and had our reviews. We had different levels of corporal punishment and used other methods such as denying privileges i.e. no TV, no glass of wine.

This was amazing, it made us talk, become more aware with each other feelings and worked as a team to get things done. Gradually as time went on we had less formal meetings and reviews as it was becoming second nature to us.

Next came chastity, we were carrying on our exploration of kink and BDSM and chastity seemed as something we wanted to experiment with, mainly for bedroom play - a bit of tease and denial. As it developed, my wife was becoming the more dominant one and the natural leader of us. I'm a thinker, planner and have immense attention to detail, but she was the one who tapped that energy and put it to use in the house, garden and other domestic duties.

It didn't take long before she realised that chastity could be used as a punishment and it became integrated into our DD lifestyle. By this time my wife had more or less decided that she would not be getting punished as she was HOH and that was that and if I didn't like it I could discuss it with her favourite strap warming my ass.

Somewhere around about that time we found an article - it was 32 questions, slightly framed differently for us both. I can't remember where we found them, but we still have an electronic copy of them, as well as our answers. A typical question was:
> For Her: I want his obedience in public: A Always [ ], B Occasionally [ ], C Sometimes [ ], D Never [ ]
> For Him: I want to obey her in public: A Always [ ], B Occasionally [ ], C Sometimes [ ], D Never [ ]

We both gave it a try and found that most of our answers were A or B and we had selected the same. The second part of the questionaire suggested that if more than 50% of the answers were A or B then you definitely ready for a FLR. We then exchanged our answers and both asked what a FLR was.

And that was how our FLR came to being, and just like the DD initially we had lots of rules, procedures and protocols. Technically its a FLM, but all we have now is one rule. Lady C shall decide.

What it actually means to us isn't as totalitarian as it sounds.

What it isn't:
* She doesn't dress up in leather, chains and heels
* She doesn't walk around with a riding crop in her hand
* She doesn't expect me to be naked all the time
* She doesn't expect me to kneel all the time
* I don't dress up in leather or chains or other fetish gear
* I don't have tattooes or piercings
* I don't do all the housework or chores
* She doesn't have financial dominance or exclusivity
* Its not about sex or chastity
* I am not kept bound in a corner
* It is not an excuse to abuse just for the sake of it

What it is:
* She makes the decisions
* Her word is final
* She asks/tells we do things
* She sometimes delegates decision making to me
* She allocates me chores
* We both do the chores that we are better qualified in doing
* She initiates the important conversations about the house, money etc
* We both decide on the important conversations
* She expects obedience
* She expects respect
* She expects I tell her when I can physically or mentally unable to participate
* She expects I treat her body with reverence and respect
* She expects that I do most things when she asks, and with a good grace
* She expects that I do things _her_ way
* She expects that we do this _her_way

Some FLR examples:
* "No, we're not going to the pub tonight, we were there last night"
* "Go get me a glass of wine"
* "Don't be cheeky"
* "Take me shopping"
* "We need to have a look at the car insurance / the garden / the insurance. We'll do it Sunday"
* "I want you in chastity this week - you're just so more eager in that thing"


Whilst not extreme as some others, its what we do. I'll try and find the list of 32 questions before I get lots of PMs requesting them.

Now the question - how do **you** do FLR, or want to do it?

 

We do sometimes do BDSM but that's our playtime and we dress up for that. This is what we do the rest of the time

 

It's amazing how non vanilla the word 'no' can be. And as I said above we do kink and sometimes I have to serve naked, but that's her playtime. She really when I make dinner wearng only an apron.

 

Thanks. Like most things it evolved to this mainly when we stopped trying tok hard to make it happen, especially on my part

 

I think it is. Will confirm

 

Thanks everyone for their replies and kind words. I think the important points for anyone considering similar are:

• It's what we do, and there are no right or wrong ways to do it
  
• It took time to make it what it is
• Communication, having timeout to discuss what we want and our expectations of each other

And the questions are from the Georgia Ivey Green book "How to setup an FLR". So I will not reproduce that without getting permission from the copyright holder. It's widely available on Amazon as paperback and in kindle format How To Set Up An FLR https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00BB3EP4C/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ySnCDbAYP3YXM
Worth a read. And if you want to know more about our FLR, especially if your starting out then don't hesitate to get me on messenger or PM me. Just like chastity, these are only a click away.

I think this weekend's post will be how we do FLR in public.