FLM ideas for soon to be married couple?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by HeForHer, Mar 21, 2019.

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  1. HeForHer
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    HeForHer Member

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    Hi. We're getting married this summer (yes!) and I just wanted to ask people for any ideas on fun things to introduce to an FLM as opposed to the FLR we have now. Whether it be regarding the wedding or honeymoon or whatever.

    As mentioned, we already have an FLR of sorts. My fiancée sees it as a no brainer and likes all the advantages it gives her, smart lady see hehe. But we're keen to introduce new stuff and keep it fresh.

    Off the top of my head, I'd like to be caged during the wedding, and as others mentioned on a previous thread about marriage, say in my vows that I will obey her. We've also agreed that I will take her mum's surname (her maiden name) so I'm delighted to be seen as truly following the female line of her family. Her mum loves that too.

    We're discussing some form of financial sole ownership of assets for her while I would continue to manage the finances as she wishes to delegate that to me. But that's still in early discussion. If anyone has any tips on that it would be helpful.

    She is also rather nicely putting together some intimate rite of submission for me. She knows how strong my submissive side to her is and she wants to create some special evening where she takes me as her possession and asks me to submit to her forever. This is based of one of my fantasies I told her about a long time ago.

    Any other ideas? Realistic ones as this will look like a vanilla wedding to our guests etc. I'm mindful of not topping from the bottom but no harm in listen to people's ideas and elements they incorporated around marriage, cheers.
     
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  2. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    I'm so happy to hear the new, congratulations to you and your fiancee! I thoroughly agree about taking her name, being caged during the wedding and pledging your obedience.

    On financial and other matters, do not let our kink get in the way of what is safe. In my opinion, you should adopt in your wife-led marriage a financial arrangement consistent with that in a traditional marriage, no more and no less than would be appropriate for a modern marriage.
     
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  3. MissyB
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    MissyB New member

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    Quick question, does your future mother-in-law know of your FLR? Seeing as you're taking future wife's last name, is there someway her mother could be involved in a ceremony, private with her and you two? Sort of a blessing on your new life? Might make it easier in long term if her mom knows why you act so submissive.
     
  4. HeForHer
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    HeForHer Member

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    I don't think she has any idea of the terms but she knows the lifestyle setup as when I'm at their home I do all the chores for my partner and her mum will also ask me to do things and has joked about it many times. My partner even joked to her that it's good to have a man 'under the thumb' and she laughed and said it was wonderful and about time.

    But I wouldn't want to force my future mother-in-law into any awkward situation re explicit FLM elements. But if she observes and enjoys seeing my acts of service then all good.
     
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  5. HeForHer
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    HeForHer Member

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    Although @MissyB you have a good point re taking her name. Perhaps I should cook a special meal for them both and thank her for allowing me to take her surname.
     
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  6. MissyB
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    MissyB New member

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    That's the sort of thing I had in mind. A low-key event to sort of recognize her importance to you and your wife. It seems like a good way to further demonstrate your status. I totally agree that you don't want to put your mother-in-law in an awkward position. But if you gradually reveal how your marriage is structured I would think it would be good for all. By the way, congratulations on your marriage and your decision to take your wife's name. Very admirable.
     
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  7. HeForHer
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    HeForHer Member

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    Thanks for the advice. I think once I thank her in this way they'll be no doubt in her mind that women wear the trousers in this family now lol. :strong:
     
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  8. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Active member

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    +1. This is critical advice. None of us can see the future and while we want nothing more than to believe our relationship is permanent, more often than not (statistically) it just doesn't turn out that way. Should you two go your separate ways, you'll each likely need to have a handle on the wealth you've brought to the marriage. NOT romantic. Practical, though.
     
  9. MissyB
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    MissyB New member

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    Hello,
    After posting on your question I thought about it some more. I like to write erotic fiction, not for profit, just fun. The ideas of you taking your wife's name, doing chores for her and her mom, and doing something special for her mom, as part of either your marriage or pre-ceremonies, struck me as a basis for a story. Most of my stories have some tie to real life, and this one seemed to good to pass on. May I have your permission to use these details to create a story? Of course there would be no direct references to you, and your specific situation, however since you were, in a way, a large part of the creative process for this idea, I'd prefer that it is okay with you.

    thanks and again best of luck,
    MissyB
     
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  10. Consensus
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    Consensus Member

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    Wow! Forgive me, I am here only to express jealousy, I was keen to take my wife's name but she was adamant that she take mine and mine remain the same. I wanted to change the vows too and she said no.

    Basically, I have no ideas but wanted to say how fantastic it all sounds and wish you well. Congratulations in advance on your marriage!
     
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  11. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    If @HeForHer grants permission I hope you'll post the result here.
     
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  12. remyruff
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    remyruff Junior Member

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    When we married 9 years ago I was in chastity before during and after. Goddess took me with a strap on that evening. We have replayed that many times, it's an important factoid for her and she rubs it in when I forget my place.
    The financial control part is a powerful fantasy, my Wife has free reign for the most part, but managing investments is not something she wants, because it is such an important task, it's best to keep kink out of it and simply do your best managing it so you always have enough for her spending habits.if you want her to have more control, be made to ask before you buy anything for yourself.
    Perhaps you could have your mother in law own the second set of keys to your cage. This way your wife can threaten you to toss her set out should you disobey in the future. This is also quite the head trip, we have not yet done this ourselves, but probably Goddess will give her the only other set to my Lori with PA. She lives 3000 miles away.
     
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  13. MissyB
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    MissyB New member

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    A few opinions in regard to financial setup, I think you should go slow, especially with assets. However, you can design them to reflect your spouses's superior position.

    Although less stringent now than previously, she should be the primary on all you accounts, you the secondary. Especially for credit cards, her name should be on them, you would be an authorized user. You should have restrictions on the account. An easy way would be she could charge, while you could only use as a debit card. That limits your ability to spend money. Many cards can be set up to send her a text showing how much you spent and where.

    Not sure if you both work, but if you do, a further divide would be to have a joint bank account. All your money is placed there, hers is split between that and her own account. An alternative would be a household account for you to use fro household expenses, while she has the main account.

    Most of these are more for appearance than substance, but I think having her be clearly identified as the head of household should be your goal.
     
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  14. HeForHer
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    HeForHer Member

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    Thanks for finding some nice ways to honor the FLM lifestyle while also remaining practical!
     
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  15. HeForHer
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    HeForHer Member

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    Sure go for it! I'm happy to chat to you re any other details that may give you ideas but tbh most of our stuff will sound very tame compared to erotica fiction so I'm sure you'd have to spice things up a lot!
     
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  16. MissyB
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    MissyB New member

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    Thanks. I work on several stories at a time, so this may be a longer term - just depends, I often get engrossed in a story and finish it sooner. Keep us posted on how your planning goes.
     
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  17. MissyB
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    MissyB New member

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    I saw on your profile that you work in finance. How accurate or current were my suggestions in that area? I should have looked earlier, lol. Feel like I slipped into some man-splaining to someone who knows more than me.
     
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  18. LotionBoy
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    Ok, so as a given, the Maid of Honor will need to cage you before the wedding. So she needs to be someone that your MRS. will trust now and always. All the maids need to know that you are chaste and the maid of honor ensured such. And.......they all, ALL need to attend when you commit to service of your wife in perpetuity, when this happens. It may be humiliating........or maybe not! All my lady's maids spent a moment to torment me in my cage and let me know that in ANY situation, they would make sure I continued my chaste life. VERY comforting. Work that out. It will give you peace you have not known.
     
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  19. cshorts
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    cshorts Locked in love for SL

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    Sounds like she has the basics of an FLR down pat...
     
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  20. Consensus
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    Consensus Member

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    Aye, she has said all she wants is someone to clean the kitchen, provide occasional child-care and rare hugs.
     
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  21. Open to it
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    Open to it Member

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    My wife and I had a renewal ceremony to formalize my submission to her after many years of marriage. As part of the ceremony I stripped and removed all the hair on my private parts as a symbol of my submission. This was incorporated into my vows.
     
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  22. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    As your wives property you should be branded and/or tattooed. If submission is king why not a penis tattoo with her name stating it is her property?

    You covered the important one of surname and limiting access to finances should be done and if MIL is around a will stating in the event of her early demise you MIL would control it.

    I believe you should also confirm to a vow of silence or only speaking when spoken too for your wife and MIL ... unless your wife requests conversation.

    You should also agree that your seed only has two places. In her for conception and to be consumed by you. It children are not immediate, vasectomy to obviously be reversed if need be.

    If she has confidence issues, then you need to let her know that she is 100% in charge and your goal in life is for her to realize it and be empowered. Your goal is for her to realize all of her dreams and future ones as your #1 dream has been realized which is her.

    Once that is realized you need for her to be trained on how to beat the alpha men of society and be brutal if need be. She can practice on you but also tell her to rebuild you up after, and your goal is to be able to take it all and never break.

    After that then you should reach out and support women's grouog approved by your wife ... E.g. support women who are alone and protect them when going to planned Parenthood type of places etc ....

    It will be a lot of work for you but remember you won the most important thing in your life .... The ability to submit to your wife.
     
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  23. Penney
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    Penney Active member

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    Check and check. My wife had my tubes tied right after our last child. She handled it all. I was told when and where to be. I wasn't long after that I was put in panties full time. The first tattoo was a surprise birthday present.

    I wish you well!!
     
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