For most of the last year, I have stopped experiencing orgasms. I ejaculate just like normal but have no sensation of release. None. My Dr. sent me to urologist who quickly stated that since I ejaculate, everything she could check is working. She suggested that I need. To see a sex therapist. I have had some sessions with a therapist already. Just wondering if anyone here has experienced this, and has it been resolved for you.
In the past I experienced something similar if I hadn't ejaculated in a long time. The semen seemed to flow out, rather than being propelled by muscular contraction. There would be little or no warning to the release. The more I ejaculated, the more I felt.
@LoneMan so you have emissions but do not have convulsions, clenching or forceful ejaculations? My wife worked towards getting me to flow out, slowly, without clenching or twitching. They are “perfect” ruined orgasms, and they keep me aroused and wanting. That way I “ejaculate” but don’t have the refractory period or after effects from a climax. I did not express this as a problem to my urologists. I explained this is what my wife and I preferred. It was all the same to my urologist that I avoided orgasms. I do admit I started to complain a little that I don’t get to ejaculate forcefully, just have gentle emissions. But I was kept on track. It was made clear that those are the same to them. I was deemed healthy and fine. It was ok and I need not to worry. It sounds like this is bothering you. I was trained to not clench or squeeze down in reaction to stimulation. Eventually my wife said I “forgot” how to orgasm. I was just in a deep mental state. I have not seen a sex therapist. But I did take a “break” from chastity and orgasm denial. I remembered how to orgasm. It was a lot of fun. But eventually I dulled my drained myself. I’m happier kept aroused and full. I’m curious about the advice your sex therapist is providing and whether you feel stressed about not being able to orgasm. If you’re worried and tense, it makes it worse. It’s easier to orgasm when you’re relaxed and just enjoying the sensations.
This is bothering me. Eventhough I still have a chastity desire, I still want to orgasm sometimes. I don't feel like I'm stressing about it in the reference that I'm not allowing myself to orgasm. Each time it becomes possible, I'm still hoping for it. Until you brought it up, I had not thought about the refractory period. In the past, I had experimented with ruining orgasms and at one point, ruined 5 times in a row. Currently, once I ejaculated, it's game over. So it's not a ruined in that sense. Something to consider. At this point, the therapist is still just asking questions. We meet tomorrow. Perhaps she will have a recommendation this time.
I know this feeling all too well! I understand this too! I think where our experiences differ is that my wife actively encourages this. I haven’t had the opportunity to know whether I could still forcefully ejaculate.My orgasms are now safely tucked away in shrodingers box, who knows if they’re dead or alive?
This is a very complex situation, with not a straight forward answer. I’m still visiting with the therapist. I’m learning a lot about emotions. I have learned that I keep them bottled up pretty tight. She has been wonderful to visit with. She has brought me to tears on several occasions, each time I experience deep pain, with some form of relief at the end. I usually feel like I need to cry more, but it’s just not there. I feel like her goal is to try and get me to relax my brain and orgasm, or if I can’t achieve that, be okay with not orgasming. She is the only other person who knows me, besides my uninteresting wife, knows that I enjoy chastity. Most recently we have been visiting about mindfulness. It took me quite a while to understand what that is. I tend to think about things with tunnel vision. Mindfulness means thinking about a problem, and also, paying attention to what is surrounding / happening, around you at the same time. There has been no improvement in orgasm experience. Occasional ejaculation is nice, but not what I’m looking for. Im somewhat to the point that I’m not all that interested in sex. It’s kind of like if there’s no orgasm, what’s the point. It’s late and I’ve had a busy day. Thanks for asking @littleguy3. I’d share more if interested.
Sexual arousal is mostly driven by our brain, it sounds like you’ve found a good therapist to help you. I wish you all the best.
This has me really curious so forgive me for the questions. Did this inability to orgasm come on suddenly, possibly related to some traumatic event, or did you notice it happen gradually? If the latter, did your orgasms just become less and less pleasurable until they became entirely non-existent? How frequently did you orgasm before they stopped? Did you practice ruined orgasms routinely? Are you and your wife physically intimate or has your sex life become a "solo affair"? Do you have trouble getting aroused and erect?
@littleguy3 , The loss of orgasm has been slow. I had a large drop in pleasure soon after I had my vasectomy 10 years ago. To me, it felt like I had lost a lot of volume in ejaculate after the vasectomy. My orgasms did get less and less until I realized I wasn’t having any orgasm upon ejaculating. Prior to this, I masturbated pretty much every day. At least until I got interested in chastity. That has slowed my masturbation since 2017. Even today, with or without my cage, I have a huge compulsion to masturbate. Without the cage, I find myself waking up at night, masturbating. With the cage, I can resist the temptation, and I sleep much more peacefully. I never practiced ruined orgasms very much. I didn’t do it very often. The wife and I have sex roughly weekly, or whenever the wife shows interest. As of late, I never initiate. Sex recently means me giving her orgasms via oral, digital, or with toys. I’m not much interested in trying for one at the moment. It has been over 30 days since my last ejaculation which I would like one pretty soon. Currently, my best sexual experience is when she allows me to pleasure her, while I remain locked. She rarely allows that. I started experiencing ED a few years ago. I have learned that if I take a cialis, one every third day, it keeps me at the ready. For the last two months the wife have been having a female issue and not been to keen on penetration so I haven’t taken the cialis in a couple months, and hence, it’s been some time since I’ve had an erection over half mast.
Thanks for the wishes. Just for clarification, I’m am, and do get very aroused. I am able to ejaculate as normal, in a normal amount of time. I’m just not experiencing an orgasm at the end.
Thanks for all of the detail! I hope that you and your wife are able to explore new ways to enjoy physical intimacy and that it brings both of you much pleasure! One last question, when you are building up to having an ejaculation, do you experience the intense arousal as during an edging session?
I guess you would have mentioned it already, but you're not taking any SSRIs for mental health? SSRIs are great for my mental health but really reduce my ability and strength of orgasm.
I experienced this exact thing while my gonadotropic hypogonadism was undiagnosed (extremely low testosterone) It wasn't much of a problem as I had zero sex drive so the issue didn't present very often. Since starting testosterone replacement therapy I'm able to experience orgasms again. Well, I could, if only my Goddess would let me...