Hello everyone! Thank you all for making this site such a helpful resource. Though I'm mainly dominant with my wife, chastity has taken on a compelling appeal recently. I started to write out the whole story, but it was getting way too long for an intro post. I'll save it for later. Short version is I proposed it to her a few days ago and she said to do some research and give her a week to think about it. Does anyone have experience with a relationship in which the chaste man becomes dominant once unlocked? I haven't found anything in the various websites and books I've looked at, and the default masculine frame of the English language renders search engines unhelpful. My wife still wants me to tie her up, get rough, and call her names; I am hoping that being locked up most of the time will make me more eager and energized to do this once she let's me loose. Thanks! --Rolls
Hello! it seems like we have something in common - i also tend to be more dominant with my GF, but since we started chastity couple months ago, roles seem to be changing. yet it doesn't stop us from other sexual activities, with my as dominant one. actually, She's more of a submissive person when it comes to being tied up and other BDSM play, yet She enjoys denying my orgasms and keeping me chaste. have fun and welcome to the mansion!
Thanks for your reply! Has your being in chastity made your more dominant when you're out, or in any way? Or, assuming your GF is enjoying having you locked, is it because she's getting more of the tying up, etc. that she enjoys or because she's growing into the dominant role?
well, for us it works this way: firstly, when I'm chaste, I don't masturbate, so my libido gets to the higher levels. that actually makes me more agressive and dominant in the bedroom, like I'm becoming more of an alpha male and my GF enjoys that. secondly, She likes having control over my orgasms - giving up the control is one of the best gifts I could give to her - it makes me 100% focused on Her, not wasting time and energy on porn and masturbation. even though it may seem unusual to chastity society, She's not very dominant person in bedroom, but I am. i guess this helps us keeping a good, healthy balance and keeps us both happy. I enjoy being chaste and having strong orgasms after prolongued denial, She enjoys controling my orgasms and rough sex I give Her.
@GenderRolls Hi welcome to CM. If this stays safe sane and consenting then that's fine. If your are useing chastity as a tool to stock up on testosterone and getting too much of a good thing then I am not sure. Depends very much on your wife and no means no. "Getting rough " beginning to get uncomfortable with how thar reads. I am not saying that if you are Both into it and it works for Both of you OK . Some times get a bit of alcohol involved and then we are in to abuse and that is not good. Xx Wendy
@yanmaslanka That sounds like what we're aiming for, and I'm glad to hear it's not completely unheard of. @Wendygirl Thanks for sharing your concerns; you've given me some things to keep an eye out for. I used "getting rough" in my OP as a euphemism for The Act Itself since I'm new here and not sure what level of explicitness is considered appropriate, and upon rereading it does rather sound bad. It practice the direct results may be more mundane than my OP suggests. E.g. thanks to my self-imposed chastity this week I'm going to a shibari class tonight for the first time in months.
I was far more the Top in the bedroom than she ever wanted to be. We were both very content with that and when we started using cb-3K she got really into the denial and keeping me locked, always pushing my limits. She was always letting me out when we made love but she let me come increasingly less frequently although she otherwise loved me taking the dominant role. It worked very well for us and has with my subsequent partners
We play around with gentle bondage as it really turns my wife on, being tied down, however I remain locked as her desire to keep me ever ready to play is a priority.
this must be a great thing to try. may sound a little bit complicated in terms of telling who is dominant and who is submissive, but hey, if it's fun, why not do this? thanks for the idea, I'm hoping to try it out with my GF.
O.k. So in order for a relationship to work in the manner in that you have proposed. We use a male strap on. I am contained in my chastity but go on the preverbial attack as if it was my piece in her. She loves it, I love it, it works great. Her comments are that it stays hard right to the very end, have the intimicy of bodily contact and yet she is still dictating my orgasm. Hope this is of some use. All the best The Enigma.