So today I get this phone call from a friend who is obviously upset. I cant figure out what is wrong so I just come straight out and ask. Turns out he is in a non-vanilla relationship with this lady friend who is the Mistress in the relationship and he the sub role. Now while I certainly can respect each role I was shocked to hear that this so called Mistress took the liberty to share their personal information with a third party without his consent. He was obviously shocked as well and was in full panic mode. He, much like I, lives in a small community and has taken great care, 10 years of care, to keep this part of his life private. the first time he finally meets someone he thinks he can trust he finds out she has told one maybe two of her friends of the relationship. Now I can certainly see his side and in someways can see how her side of the situation could take place as I have friends in this lifestyle who obviously have friends. My question here is where does the trust boundaries lie in your opinions. Let me just say this was not a sub wanting to be outed and needed a push, this was a plain outright hard limit agreement that was violated here. Do the Mistresses here think this is acceptable? I would appreciate some insight before I give him my advice. My guts says if the small details cant be entrusted with her now then get the hell out before the serious stuff comes into play. Maybe I am over reacting, maybe not. I just know that besides the normal etiquette in this lifestyle mutual respect and trust are paramount to the relationship being a success. Having been a Dom for years and now a sub for a few there has never been a time when the feelings, wishes, and limits of both parties (especially when clearly defined) should ever be ignored. Anyway let me know your thoughts I would love to hear them.